


Contact

by lifeinabeautifullight



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Reunion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-03-07 11:33:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 42,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13433856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifeinabeautifullight/pseuds/lifeinabeautifullight
Summary: It's been almost two years and Alex is still Maggie's emergency contact...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic that’s been swirling around in my head for months. Angst ahead, with weekly updates.

Thirty years ago on this day, July 11th, in Newark, Winslow Schott Jr was born and to mark the big day, the gang had gathered at the birthday boy’s abode after work.

It was as much a birthday party as it was a gathering of singletons. Winn’s relationship with Lyra had long fizzled out; James and Lena had come to the mutual decision that they were better suited as friends rather than anything more; Mon-El had left again and Kara decided the healthiest option would be to permanently part rather than attempt to engage in an inter-galactic long distance relationship; and Alex, well…she’d dipped her toe into the dating pool a few times within the past year but hadn’t particularly enjoyed the experience. The only member of their group that was actually in a relationship was the one that was absent, with J’onn having sadly gotten tied up with something at the DEO at the last minute with no guarantee when, or even if, he could drop by.

The gift that Alex had picked out and stuck in a card was simple – a hundred dollar gift card for the _Playstation Store_ – but it was most certainly appreciated. ‘This will definitely be getting spent once you’re all gone,’ the man of the hour grinned.

‘I thought it was a safer bet to get you that, than getting you a game and risk you already having it,’ Alex explained.

Winn pulled her into a tight hug. ‘You thought well. Thank you.’

They’d only arrived five minutes ago, and Kara was already poking through the presents and cards that were dotted around the apartment. ‘This,’ she held up an expensive looking camera. ‘Is nice. Birthday present?’

‘Yep,’ Winn said as he rushed over, no doubt fearful of an accidental breakage from super-strong hands.

Alex was a step ahead, beating him there and taking it from her sister. Upon closer inspection, she came to the conclusion that the device definitely cost more than her monthly rent. Way more. ‘Yeah, _very_ nice. Remind me to befriend whoever got you it.’ She estimated it cost at least two grand. ‘Who got you it?’

‘Uh, old friend,’ Winn stammered. His nerves appeared to ease as his new toy ended up in the expert hands of James.

‘More like _good_ friend,’ James said. ‘This is the latest model and better than most of the ones I have in my arsenal. I expect you to seriously up your _Instagram_ game with this. No more taking dorky photos, you hear?’

*** *** ***

The party was essentially another game night, except with cake and presents but, as always, it was a great night with great company.

Then it was back home to an empty apartment, an apartment that she longed to move out of but couldn’t. The place was ideally located, close enough to her sister’s and the DEO and, by National City’s ever-rising standards, rent was reasonable. If she did decide to move, her friends would soon click onto the real reason for doing so – it’d been way over a year, she didn’t want to seem _that_ pathetic even though she felt it when she came home every night and expected to see a tiny detective curled up on the couch, waiting for her. Therefore, Alex was stuck here for the foreseeable, until something either changed in her life or she’d had enough in her savings to get somewhere permanent.

She’d been deemed officially short sighted by her eye doctor some six months ago. Whilst contacts were best for work, they were a giant pain in the ass and taking them in and out was not an experience that she particularly enjoyed. So her glasses, along with her pyjamas, were her first priority when she got home, as was the leftover pizza in the fridge from the night before and a can of soda – she was cutting back on alcohol these days, after growing resigned to how sad it had become to drink alone.

Living alone felt bad enough.

She grabbed a blanket and settled on the couch, her heart set on marathoning _FRIENDS_ on Netflix. She’d just picked an episode to start on when her phone buzzed.

**Winn: thanks for coming tonight**

**and yeah gift card has already been spent, thank you again!**

_Alex: You’re welcome. Enjoy your senior years._

**Winn: hey you’re older than me**

_Alex: Men statistically die younger._

_Xo._

*** *** ***

A little after midnight, she jerked awake, the sound of her phone vibrating against the coffee table starling her. She rubbed her eyes as she reached to answer. The number wasn’t familiar, but it was from NC. ‘Yeah?’

‘Hi, is this Alexandra Danvers?’

The use of her formal name did not go unnoticed. ‘It is, yes,’ she said as she sat up a little. ‘Who is this?’

‘Hello Miss Danvers. I’m calling from St. Christopher’s as I have you listed as Margaret Sawyer’s emergency contact?’

*** *** ***

The last time she’d seen Maggie was a year and a half ago, on the day their hearts broke.

They hadn’t kept in touch since they ended their engagement, not really. They’d sent a handful of texts in the months that followed, a quick Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas but that had been it. Even though things had ended amicably, it hurt too much to try and maintain a friendship. So they hadn’t, and their paths hadn’t crossed professionally either, as Maggie had switched to working homicides – Alex had a feeling that wasn’t mere coincidence.

Yet despite everything, Alex didn’t hesitate. She hastily pulled the first items of clothing she found on over her pyjamas, and took off into the night, speeding through the deserted streets on her Ducati, paying scant attention to the few lights that weren’t in her favour.

Within fifteen minutes, she was at the hospital and sprinting up to the reception desk.

‘I’m here for Maggie, _Margaret_ , Sawyer?’

Each keystroke on the computer felt like an eternity. Then finally, ‘Family room on the second floor.’

Alex rambled her thanks and began to follow the necessary signage. There was a familiar face sat waiting for her when she finally got there. Captain Charles James – a man that she had not seen in almost two years who was Maggie’s mentor and superior. He greeted Alex with a small smile, and she was relieved that if he harbored any animosity towards her, he was at least keeping it buried. ‘I’m glad you could come,’ he said, standing to give her a quick hug. ‘It’s good to see you again.’ His words sounded sincere, despite everything.

‘I just wish it were under better circumstances,’ Alex replied and it was met with a nod in agreement. ‘How is she? They’re not telling me much, what happened?’

Charlie gestured towards the seat beside him. She sat and he explained, his tone sombre. ‘Maggie was shot in the chest. She’s in surgery, that’s…that’s all I know, all they’ve told me.’

 _Fuck_.

The room started to spin a little; nausea crept up.

‘How…’ Alex closed her eyes and took a deep, steadying breath. ‘How was she shot?’

‘Someone turned up at her apartment. She managed to take them out before placing an officer down call. It happened an hour or so ago, so details are scarce right now.’

One thing, however, was painfully obvious. ‘It was a hit.’

Charlie nodded. ‘I’d say so.’

And then the guilt came crashing down. If they’d still been together, Alex would’ve been there and would’ve been able to do something. Hell, if they’d still been together, it probably would never have even happened because her apartment’s security had been upped significantly since Rick Malverne had abducted her – the door had reinforced locks, there were cameras monitoring the doorway and there was even, although Alex hated the term and the fact it was even a necessity, a panic alarm installed to summon her sister at the press of a button. It was secure, she’d have been there but no…she’d kicked Maggie out and broken both of their hearts.

Over a concept.

When they could’ve had something real.

Charlie rested a hand on her shoulder. ‘I know this is an unusual situation but I think she’ll really appreciate you coming.’

‘Are you sure?’ Alex asked. She was certain that, besides inviting Mr and Mrs Rodas, seeing her ex-fiancee would be the _last_ thing that Maggie would want. Hell, they might as well invite said bigoted parents just to complete the set of people who had wrecked Maggie’s life. ‘She probably just forgot to update her contact details. I doubt she wants me here.’

‘But you came.’

‘Yeah,’ Alex nodded. ‘I did…I still care about her.’ _And love her, and miss her – greatly_. ‘I couldn’t not have--.’

‘What the hell are you doing here?’

Alex didn't need to look to know the question had been spat in her direction, but she did anyway.

‘Do you seriously think she’ll want to see you when she wakes up? That’s _if_ she wakes up.' Kevin Grisham's hair was a little greyer now than it was the last time their paths had crossed.

‘That’s enough, Kevin,’ Charlie said, attempting to defuse things but Kevin continued.

‘C’mon Cap. Maggie’s like your daughter and that bitch right there is the one that broke her heart. Maggie didn’t come into work for weeks after what she did to her. She has no right to be here.’

‘No. _You_ have no right to be here.’ Charlie's tone was firm. ‘She’s Maggie’s emergency contact – she has more right than anyone to be here. So if anyone should leave, then it’s you. And, as your superior, that’s exactly what I’m telling you to do, Detective Grisham.’

Grisham shot Alex one final glare. ‘If you upset her again, you’ll regret it,’ he warned before leaving.

‘Ignore him. He’s an asshole.’

‘An asshole with a point.’ Alex could hardly fault the guy’s logic. She’d broken Maggie’s heart and, from the sound of things, broken Maggie too. In the two years that they'd spent together, Maggie had rarely missed work, something that was more often than not to her own detriment when she had been struggling with a cold or the flu. And yet she had after the break-up? Then, even despite her unbridled passion for helping aliens, she had switched to working homicides? It was no secret that homicide was one of the most financially lucrative divisions - and no secret either that the relatively new science division was seen by some as a joke and, as a result, struggled for funding - but Maggie wasn't a cop for the money, or fancy police equipment. She was a cop because she cared and, whilst so few people cared about National City's alien populace, Maggie's faith and kindness towards them had never faltered. 'You don't have to be nice to me, Charlie. If you think me being here is a bad idea, then I'll go. It's the least I can do after what I did to her.'

'What? Ended things like an adult because you wanted different things?'

'She told you?'

'Yes,' Charlie affirmed. 'But I don't think she told many other people, certainly not Kevin. We both know she only tolerates him at best.'

That truth made Alex smile. 'How she didn't punch him at that Christmas night out I'll never know.' Kevin had been drunk and acted as if beating Maggie resoundingly at pool was some great achievement, and had gloated about it for the rest of the evening, much to everyone's annoyance.

''Cause she's too nice for her own good,' Charlie said. 'Maggie doesn't hate you, Alex. And I'm sure that she'll want to see you.'

The words came out of Alex's mouth before she could stop them. 'If she pulls through.'

'She's tough.'

'Everyone has their breaking point.' There had to be some limit to all the shit Maggie could endure. Alex sighed. 'I'm sorry, I--.'

'Don't apologise,' Charlie rested a hand on her knee. 'It's okay, stuff like this isn't easy for anyone.'

'I just...don't like the vagueness.'

'You and me both, kid,' he concurred. 'You and me both.'

*** *** ***

It was another half hour until they got news.

Good news.

 _Thank God_.

Though it wasn’t good news really. The bullet had torn through the wall of her aorta, and had lodged itself against her fourth vertebra. She’d lost a lot of blood, and her heart had stopped during surgery. Her left wrist had also been fractured, presumably from falling, and would require an operation at a later date but still...she’d done what she had done for most of her life – Maggie had survived, though would still be in surgery for a little while yet.

Alex could feel the weight being lifted from her chest.

With the news, Charlie excused himself. ‘I’m going to head to the precinct, and get a head start on the investigation,’ he said, patting Alex’s shoulder. ‘Keep me updated please. Do you still have my number?’

'I do, yes.' She'd kept it just in case anything had ever happened to Maggie, never once expecting to still be listed as her ex's emergency contact. 'I'll let you know anything they tell me.'

'Thanks, Alex.'

Once he was gone, Alex reached for her phone and fired off a text.

_Alex: Come to St Christopher's as soon as you can. Give Maggie's name at reception and say you're with me x_

It'd been a necessity to upgrade Supergirl's phone so that a message notification would wake her if she was ever desperately needed at some ungodly hour. Now was such an hour and, thankfully, she came within minutes. 'Alex?'

Alex tried to explain but managed only a couple of rambled sentences before it finally got to her, and she began sobbing into her sister's arms. Kara held her for as long as needed, before Alex pulled away. 'I...I need you to tell J'onn,' Alex wiped her tired eyes. 'The NCPD will take too long, I need the DEO on this. I want justice for her.'

'Of course, of course,' Kara said. 'You...you think there's something more to it than what you said happened?'

'Maybe, maybe not, I don't know, I...I don't want to take the chance. She deserves justice...she deserves the whole goddamn world and yet this happens? What has she ever done to deserve constant crap thrown at her?'

'Nothing. And that's why we will look into it, I promise,' Kara smiled, leaning forward to brush a rogue strand of hair away from Alex's face. 'Before I go, do you need anything? Drinks? Food? Or I can fly back and get you something from home?'

The only thing Alex wanted was to go back two years so that none of this ever happened. Instead she settled on a bottle of water which she sipped from as she awaited further updates - she didn't attempt to sleep as she knew that would be futile. After the longest two hours of her life, she finally heard the words that she'd been longing to hear.

'You can see her now.'


	2. Chapter 2

Ventilator.

IVs.

Drains.

And a whole bunch of various other wires and tubes that were obscured by blankets and bandages.

It was bad.

Of course, it was bad. Since when did the universe ever allow Maggie Sawyer to catch a goddamn break? Disowned at the tender age of fourteen, heart broken by a woman who’d promised a lifetime of firsts together at thirty-one and now, aged thirty-three, she’d just pulled through major surgery after being shot in the chest. Maggie was a survivor, in every sense of the word.

Alex didn’t feel worthy to inhabit the same space as her.

If it hadn’t been for Susan, the kind nurse that had encouraged her to go over to Maggie’s bedside, Alex would’ve balked. ‘Go on. Hold her hand. Let her know that you’re here.’

The left hand was stabilized in a brace, so Alex made her way to the other side of the bed. With each small and shaky step, the freckles on Maggie’s face came into view. They were beautiful, as always – Maggie looked beautiful as always, even despite everything she’d been through. Hell…in Alex’s eyes, she’d never looked more beautiful.

Maggie’s hands were beautiful enigmas. They were strong and tough, hands that could, and had killed, but they were also soft and gentle, tender and so loving. They felt like home and tears started to escape Alex’s eyes at the homecoming as she entwined her fingers. She never wanted to let go again, ever.

She chided herself for such thinking, because it wasn’t as simple as that. She had no right to even think like that anymore – as much as she wanted to recommence the wonderful life that they had once shared together, that was not her decision to make. It was Maggie’s, and Maggie had every right in the world to reject her, and Alex would have nobody to blame but herself.

_It was all her fucking fault._

So, naturally, the first few words that escaped her lips were apologetic. ‘I’m so sorry,’ Alex whispered, absolutely terrified even though she knew that Maggie couldn’t hear a single word. ‘You…you are so brave. So strong, I--.’ The first tear fell. ‘I’m going to be here when you wake up, I promise. I’m not going anywhere unless you want me to. I…I love you. With my whole heart, I love you.’ The tears started to pour. ‘And I’m so, so sorry I--.’ Choked by emotions, she couldn’t finish, just continued to hold onto Maggie’s hand for dear life.

*** *** ***

The staff at St. Christopher’s were amazing, especially Susan who went above and way, way beyond to ensure that Alex was okay. She brought drinks and snacks, switched Alex’s bedside chair for a comfier one from the staffroom and, when Alex had drifted off, wrapped a blanket around her shoulders.

Alex was still clutching Maggie’s hand when she woke to her sister’s voice. ‘Hey.’

‘How is she?’ Kara asked with a smile as she tiptoed over, as if footsteps would risk waking Maggie from the deep sedation she’d been placed under.

‘Okay.’ Well…as _okay_ as she’d ever be, considering what had just happened to her. ‘There’s been no complications, and they think they’ll be able to take her off the ventilator soon. So that’s…good.’ Again, as _good_ as things could be. ‘How are things on your end?’

‘The DEO has officially taken over the investigation,’ Kara replied as her eyes travelled over Maggie. ‘Much to the NCPD’s displeasure.’

‘Yeah, she’s one of their own. They’re gonna hate us.’

‘Oh, I know,’ Kara nodded. ‘I’ve already been yelled at, multiple times, when we went to her apartment.’

The thought would have tickled Alex if her mind wasn’t already occupied. ‘What’s it like? Maggie’s apartment?’

‘It’s small. Littered in cookbooks and bonsai trees. In other words, it’s fundamentally Maggie.’

Alex smiled. ‘What about the shooter? Have they been ID’d yet?’

‘No, and we don’t think we’ll be able to.’

Alex narrowed her eyes. ‘How not?’

‘No ID on him and his fingerprints have been removed. Dental records are a no-go too, as his teeth are fake.’

Alex knew she’d been right to listen to her gut. ‘That’s not weird at all.’

‘Winn and the tech guys are currently going through her laptop, her phone, all that sort of stuff to see if there are any clues there. We also found this,’ Kara reached into her bag and handed Alex an iPad, ‘Hidden under a floorboard. There’s only one thing on it.’

Curious, Alex unlocked the device before her heart dropped at the file on the home screen. A video, titled _For Alex_. ‘Is…is it recent?’ She couldn’t recall Maggie owning any tablet device in the couple of years they were together

‘The file was created after you two…’ Kara tailed off, unable to bring herself to say it, before finishing sadly with, ‘you know.’

Alex did know, and that was why she was surprised to see such a file existing. ‘Have you watched it?’

‘No. And I made sure that nobody else did too. I’ll leave you alone to watch it, if that’s what you’d like--.’

‘Stay. Please?’ She knew she’d struggle to watch that video alone at the best of times, let alone now when she was already a wreck so she was grateful for her sister perching herself on the arm of the chair, an arm wrapped around her shoulder for reassurance. With shaky hands, Alex pulled up the video and hit _Play_.

Maggie appeared on screen, sat on a leather couch with a bonsai tree on a sidetable to her right – it was almost certainly her apartment. _‘Hey Alex,’_ she said with a smile and it felt so damn good to hear her voice again, to see her without all the machinery keeping her alive. _‘This, as the title suggests, is for you…so, if you’re not Alex Danvers then exit out of this because this isn’t for you. Duh.’_

Snarky, as ever.

Then serious. _‘I hope you never have to watch this, but I’m making this just in case as you deserve to know the truth.’_

Alex exchanged a look with her sister before her eyes flicked back to the screen.

 _‘If you are watching this then that means that Cadmus has found me and they’ve killed me_.’

Cadmus.

Of course. The would-be-assassin had Cadmus written all over him.

Things made a little more sense now, and continued to do so as Maggie continued to explain. _‘I started looking into Cadmus when we were together. I wanted to not only bring those sons of bitches to justice, but I also wanted to bring your father back. I wanted him to walk his little girl down the aisle.’_

Alex’s heart sank deeper.

_‘I’ve never stopped looking for him.’_

And deeper still.

_‘And I won’t unless they stop me. So, again, if you’re watching this then they have and that…kinda sucks and, well, I promise not to haunt you. In fact, I have a long list of people that I wanna haunt and, as much as I loved the girl, you can bet your ass that I’m gonna fuck around with your sister and rearrange her crap.’_

‘Hey!’ Kara protested.

Alex smiled as she wiped teary eyes.

_‘On a serious note, I want you to know that I still love you. I will always love you and I hope, truly, that you’re happy. You deserve to be happy.’_

And yet she wasn’t, far from it,

 _‘I know you’ll have more questions but I don’t want to risk things getting in the wrong hands. All that I will say, however, is that if you want further information then you’ll find it in time.’_ Maggie reached forward, about to end the video. _‘Stay safe for me. I love you, forever.’_ And the video cut out, but her words still echoed in Alex’s mind.

_I love you._

_You deserve to be happy._

_You’ll find it in time._

Alex turned to her sister. ‘Get her personal effects from that cupboard.’

Dutifully Kara did as she was told, and Alex tore into the brown paper bag, bringing out a watch that was still speckled with blood.

‘X-Ray the hell out of this.’

Kara did and her eyes went wide.

‘What’s inside?’

‘A microSD.’

Alex nodded. ‘Get that to the DEO. Now.’

*** *** ***

In the hours that followed, a lot of information – about two gigabytes of it, to be exact – came to light. Names and locations with links to Cadmus, rudimentary blueprints of various technology and a bunch of grainy shots of what appeared to be Jerimiah Danvers ripped from various security cameras across the country. There was also a disclaimer, an apology of sorts, included too:

_None of this information can be totally verified. I would shared it if I could have, or if it was pressing, but otherwise I couldn’t have taken that risk. I wasn’t going to risk innocent lives with bad intel._

Instead she’d just risked her own, and nearly paid the ultimate price.

Thankfully, though, she was improving. It’d been almost twenty-four hours since she’d been admitted and things were looking good. So good, in fact, that they were taking her off the ventilator. Alex wasn’t allowed to stay for that so Susan, who was back on shift, took her down to the cafeteria and bought her a coffee.

The nurse used the opportunity to get to know Alex a little better. ‘What do you do for a living?’

Alex took a sip from the cardboard cup. ‘Is there such a thing as ex-fiancée of the patient confidentially?’

‘There is, but we shorten it to just confidentiality,’ Susan grinned.

Alex smiled. ‘I work for the government. I’m not at liberty to say what exactly but I’m sure you can use your imagination.’

‘Sounds interesting.’

‘It certainly has its moments,’ Alex agreed. ‘That’s actually how I met Maggie, through work. When the President came here a few years back.’

‘Love at first sight?’

‘Yes.’ _Love_ might be a strong word, but so had been the feeling she had, with great confusion, felt on that tarmac as she’d seen her for the first time. Maggie was gorgeous, and her confidence had been sexy. ‘I didn’t know it at the time because I wasn’t out when I met her, but I knew I liked her.’ It only took a few weeks of dating for that _liked_ to manifest into _loved_. ‘We started dating not long after I came out and I’d proposed within a year. We were planning our wedding when I broke up with her.’

That prompted the inevitable, ‘May I ask why?’

‘Children,’ Alex said sadly. ‘I wanted them, she didn’t and I chose them over her.’ _Them_ , a concept, over _her_ , something real. ‘I regret that decision every day.’ She knew now that she’d been greedy. She wanted kids, yes, but only with someone like Maggie. And she couldn’t find that person because they didn’t exist. There was only one Maggie, and she’d let her go.

‘If that’s how you feel then you should tell her.’

Alex stared into her coffee. ‘I’m not allowed that right, not anymore, not after I broke her heart.’ The pre-recorded declaration of love still rung in her eyes – as it should, since she’d watched it repeatedly once Kara had left- but love wasn’t enough. She’d completely shattered Maggie’s trust, by pretending that everything had been okay on the kids front. If she was to say now that she’d be okay without kids, Maggie wasn’t going to believe that, even though it was the absolute truth. ‘It’s up to her to decide if we have any future. I have no say in it.’ And that was the worst part. ‘Thank you, by the way,’ Alex deviated away from that depressing line of thought. ‘You’ve been really nice to me.’

‘Just doing my job,’ Susan smiled.

‘Your job is to look after Maggie,’ Alex corrected. ‘I feel like you’ve looked after me just as much, if not more.’

‘Again. It’s my job.’

‘Nurses are superheroes, you know that?’

Susan nodded. ‘We just don’t wear capes because they’d get covered in god-knows-what.’

Alex laughed. ‘Yeah, well, I mean it. You do an amazing job, and I’m grateful.’

‘You’re welcome, sweetie.’ Her pager buzzed. ‘You can go back up and sit with her, if you want.’

*** *** ***

Winn dropped by later with a bouquet of flowers that he placed on the bedside table. He’d been at the DEO since six in the morning, helping on the case, and it was evident. He looked as exhausted as he did sad, as he stood beside Maggie. ‘I don’t know how she hasn’t given up.’

‘She’s tough,’ Alex remarked, and Winn nodded in agreement.

‘She’s always reminded me a little of myself, what with all the family stuff.’

‘ _You’re_ tough too,’ Alex smiled.

The compliment seemed to go over Winn’s head, as his eyes remained fixed on Maggie. ‘She’s always been so nice to me. At first I thought it was pity because, you know, she’s a cop and she’ll have always known about my father…then when I met her dad, I realized that it wasn’t pity. She understood.’ Winn looked on sadly for a few moments, before he leaned over and placed a tender kiss on Maggie’s forehead. ‘Don’t tell her I did that. I know she has a reputation to keep up.’

‘I won’t, I promise,’ Alex reassured.

Winn smiled. ‘You know that camera I got for my birthday? That two thousand dollar camera? She got me that.’

Alex frowned, though it made sense. ‘She did?’

‘Yeah, it arrived by courier the day before with a card that I, uh, hid because I didn’t--.’

‘Hey,’ Alex cut him off. ‘You know you didn’t have to do that, right?’

Winn shrugged. ‘I’ve never been in this situation before, I didn’t want to risk bringing back painful memories for anyone.’

If only those memories _could_ go away. ‘Winn?’

‘Yeah?’

‘When she wakes up, whatever happens between me and her? It won’t affect _you_ and her. If you want to be friends with her, then I’m okay with that. There’s no sides here, I promise.’

He nodded. ‘I know, I--.’

‘It’s okay. It’s hard, I get that, I really do. But she’s an amazing person – I don’t want to stand in anyone’s way of knowing her.’

There was a knock at the door.

Alex turned around. ‘Enter.’

One of the DEO guards stuck his head in. ‘Agent Danvers, we have a visitor but she’s not on the list.’

‘What’s her name?’

‘Melissa Jones.’

That name didn’t ring a bell. ‘How does she know Maggie?’

Then came the suckerpunch. ‘She’s her girlfriend.’  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh shit...the girlfriend. Damn.
> 
> Thoughts? x


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (btw: i had to re-upload this chapter within fifteen minutes of first posting so sorry if you got two notifications about it!)

Of course Maggie had a girlfriend.

Maggie Sawyer was beautiful, smart, funny and caring – who  _wouldn’t_ want to date her?

Alex apparently.

Except Alex did, and would give anything to relive the excitement of those date nights, a special sort of excitement that had never dampened no matter how many dates they’d went on. Now that seemed even more unlikely as Melissa, a pretty blonde with piercing blue eyes, had gotten lucky and hit the girlfriend jackpot. And all Alex could do was put on a brave face as her heart ached. ‘Hi.’

The girlfriend smiled but it was obviously forced. ‘Hi, I’m Melissa, Maggie’s--.’

‘The officer told me,’ Alex cut in before the girl could say the word  _girlfriend_. ‘I’m Alex, Maggie’s…uh, friend.’ They’d parted amicably, it wasn’t exactly a lie.

Melissa nodded, her eyes flicking over to Maggie for a few moments then back to Alex. ‘She’s never mentioned you before.’

Another thing that didn’t come as a surprise. ‘We lost touch…but we go back a bit.’ Again, she wasn’t lying. ‘Have you two been dating long?’

‘Coming up for five months,’ Melissa replied, and Alex felt that knife sink in deeper. ‘We were supposed to go on a date this evening. I couldn’t get in touch with her so I assumed she was tied up with work, then it got late so I called her precinct and--.’ She was stopped by a sob that bubbled up.

Winn, who’d been standing silently in the corner of the room, walked over and attempted to comfort her but Melissa flinched at his touch.

‘Who are you?’

‘W-Winn…I’m her friend too,’ he stammered before looking over at Alex as if for guidance as to what they hell they should do.

They were both as clueless as each other, so Alex did what she assumed was the right thing - even though the  _right thing_  consequently twisted the knife. ‘Would you like some time alone with Maggie?’

‘Oh I couldn’t force you--.’

‘Don’t be silly,’ Alex said, standing so that Melissa could take her seat. ‘You’re her girlfriend,’  _god, that hurt to say_ , ‘Of course we’ll give you some time with her. We’ll go grab a coffee or something.’

*** *** ***

Each step that took her further away from Maggie’s hospital room, the harder it got.

Winn said nothing but took Alex’s hand as they walked, and she appreciated the gesture more than words could ever say. She'd always seen him as the little brother she'd never had; annoying at times but sweet and always there for her, always sensing when she needed help even when she was too proud to admit it. She knew she'd be lost without him.

It was when they got to the elevator that Alex was hit by a realization. 'Crap.'

‘What?’

‘I forgot my wallet.’ It was resting beside one of the numerous bouquets of flowers that were now starting to take over Maggie’s bedside.

‘It’s okay,’ Winn assured. ‘I’ll cover you.’

‘It’s hospital prices, I can’t let you do that especially when you probably paid more than enough to park.’ Then another realization. ‘ _Shit.’_

‘Now what?’

‘I was a little preoccupied when I got here. My bike’s probably been towed.’

‘And that,’ Winn said as he gently pulled her towards the now waiting elevator, ‘Is why you should let me pay for you. Save your money so that you can get your bike back.’

‘Um yeah no, I’m  _not_  paying to get it back. I risk my life for this country, I should be allowed to park wherever the hell I want.’ One phone call would be all it would take to get her bike promptly back.

‘Plus, you kinda want to eavesdrop on her, right?’

Alex sighed. ‘That obvious, huh?’

‘Yeah,’ Winn nodded. ‘It’s okay, I feel the same.’

And thus, he didn’t try to stop Alex from heading down the hallway to unexpectedly drop back in. He should have, because this was most certainly a bad idea, one that would surely result only in the fragments of her heart shattering even more but she couldn’t help it, she couldn’t stop herself. She didn’t even knock before she entered and caught Melissa fiddling with one of the many IVs.

With a syringe in her hand.

‘What are you--.’

Alex might have spotted the syringe but she hadn’t spotted the scalpel, and the blade went deep into her thigh as she tried to pull Melissa away. Alex cursed, lost her balance for the briefest of seconds before instinct took over, and she swung a wild fist.

The scalpel clattered to the ground.

Melissa stumbled backwards.

Maggie started to convulse.

‘I need help in here!’ Alex punched the call button for assistance, before grabbing Melissa by the throat and shoving her against the wall. ‘What the hell did you give her?’

The supposed girlfriend smiled.

‘Tell me!’

The guards burst into the room, followed swiftly by doctors.

‘You are going to die if you don’t tell me.’

‘No,’ Melissa sneered. ‘ _She’s_  gonna die.’

*** *** ***

The words that Alex had never wanted to ever hear had just been said.

_‘Time of death – twelve thirty-one am.’_

Her tears were soaking through the front of Winn’s checked shirt and he held her tight as she let it all out. Sadness…anger…regret…pretty much all the same feelings she’d been feeling for the past year and a half, only they were now multiplied by recent events.

Kara walked over and rested a hand on her sister’s shoulder. ‘I know this is hard but, given the circumstances, this is the best possible scenario.’

It – the death of Margaret Ellen Sawyer – indeed was. Come the future it would pose a lot of problems but right now, it solved the most pressing one – Cadmus wouldn’t waste their time coming after a dead woman.

In time, Maggie would get a new identity and they’d deal with creating a new life for her but, for now, her safety came first. J’onn was currently liaising with the hospital so that Maggie could be discreetly transferred to the DEO to recover.

The ‘girlfriend’ was also in the DEO, sitting in a cell all alone. She had been completely brainwashed with no traces of her past life lingering in her mind, only her mission objective –  _to kill Maggie Sawyer_. Just another in a long line of Cadmus victims.

Alex too was a victim, now on crutches thanks to the attack. She didn’t complain though, she’d gotten off lightly in the grand scheme of things. She  _couldn’t_ complain either – it had been her fault for leaving Maggie’s bedside, even though she’d promised not to and, even though she’d had her suspicions. ‘I should’ve known known Melissa was an imposter.’

‘You can’t keep blaming--.’

She cut her sister off. ‘You know why?’

‘Why?’

‘Look at Maggie’s nails.’

Kara frowned but did so anyway. ‘I don’t follow?’

‘They’re long, Kara.’

‘Mine are too?’

‘Bless your innocent heart,’ Alex said with the smallest of laughs. ‘Maggie told me herself that she only lets her nails grow when she’s not in a relationship, otherwise--.’

Then it finally clicked. ‘I got it. Too much information. Thank you.’

‘That makes sense,’ Winn mused.

Alex laughed again, grateful for the wonderful support system she'd been blessed with, and their innate ability to make her feel that bit better. 

*** *** ***

Before they left St. Christopher’s, Alex made sure to thank Susan one last time.

‘I’ll always be grateful for your kindness.’

‘For the hundredth time, sweetie,’ the nurse laughed. ‘I’m just doing my job.’

Alex nodded. ‘I know but it’s an amazing job.’ And she would make sure that Susan, and the rest of the hospital staff, would be thanked for it with sugary treats when Supergirl next visited the children’s ward. ‘Thank you again.’

‘You’re welcome,  _again_. Take care on those crutches, you hear?’

‘Oh don’t worry,’ Alex grinned. ‘This isn’t my first time on them, nor will it be my last.’

Flowers, cards and a giant teddy bear (courtesy of Kara) helped make the medical wing of the DEO feel a lot less clinical than it usually did. Alex swapped her ruined jeans for sweatpants, and her bloodied sweater for the hoodie that Winn gifted her. Exhausted, she settled into the armchair beside Maggie’s bed and quickly drifted off, only to be later woken by gentle pawing at her arm.

_Maggie_.

_Finally._

‘Hey you.’ It was same phrase she’d uttered the last time the two of them had been in the medbay, and the same phrase she’d always utter on the rare occasions that she would be first to wake in the mornings. ‘How are you feeling?’

Maggie could barely keep her eyes open, but the smile on her face was peaceful. ‘Am…am I…dead?’

The question brought on the horrible realization that that was what Maggie must’ve thought when she was bleeding out, alone in her apartment. Alex swallowed hard, tried to shove that thought aside. ‘No, sweetheart…why?’

‘‘Cause…you’re here and I…I thought I…must be in heaven.’

_Smooth as fuck, as always._ Alex blushed at the sentiment, even though she knew that Maggie was doped up to her eyeballs, and everything that she would say had to be taken with a pinch of salt. ‘Nope, not heaven. This is still very much the land of the living. Your stubbornness saved you.’

‘Told you…s’good quality to have.’

‘Sometimes,’ Alex countered.

‘Yeah, yeah…be…be grateful for it. Means we…we can still get married.’

Alex’s heart dropped. The poor girl was clearly out of it and correcting her would only risk agitating her, and that was the last thing anyone wanted. Not to mention that Alex  _didn’t want_  to correct her.

The opportunity to do so, however, didn’t arise as Maggie’s brow knotted and panic started to set in. ‘Alex…’

Alex was already on her feet, hopping awkwardly on her one good leg and already pressing the button for assistance. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘My hand…I, I can’t…feel it.’

‘It’s okay, you--.’

‘I can’t feel…my fingers, Alex--.’ All of a sudden Maggie was alert, clawing at her IVs.

Alex gently took hold of her hand. ‘Stay calm, you’re okay--.’

Maggie pulled away, tried to sit up and immediately regretted it, gasping sharply.

Alex’s heart was breaking – she’d never seen Maggie this vulnerable before. She was too focused on comforting the woman she loved, that she was no longer being mindful of her words. The pet-name inevitably slipped out. ‘Babe, you need to relax. You just had major surgery, okay?’

‘I don’t like this.’

_So incredibly vulnerable._  ‘I know you don’t and that’s why I’m not leaving.’

‘Promise?’

‘Promise.’

*** *** ***

It was right back to square one.

Too restless, Maggie had to be sedated and Alex was back waiting for her to wake, now more nervous than ever before.

‘How is she?’ Kara asked as dropped by, in full Supergirl garb.

‘She woke but understandably freaked out,’ Alex replied. ‘She also thought we were still engaged.’

‘Oh.’

‘I know it was just because of the drugs but, Kara, if she were to wake again and still genuinely believe that we were still together? I’m not sure that I’d correct her because I don’t  _want_  to.’ Alex sighed. ‘And that makes me a shitty, selfish person, I know but I…I just love her so much that it hurts.’

Kara smiled. ‘I’m aware – you’ve told me that before.’

‘And nothing’s changed in that regard.’

‘So?’ Kara perched on the arm of the chair. ‘Tell her that then.’

‘That’s kinda a heavy thing to throw at someone who just nearly died.’

Kara bit down on her lip as she contemplated before divulging. ‘Do you know that she’s kept in touch with Eliza?’

‘What? Since when?’

‘Since you two broke up,’ Kara said. ‘She actually calls Eliza at least once a month to check in, and ask how you’re doing.’

‘How do you know this?’

‘I accidentally overheard on a flying visit,’ Kara explained. ‘I don’t know why you’re so surprised, she nearly died looking for Jeremiah.’

_Of course she had...making sure her still relatively baby gay of an ex-fiancee was doing okay was such a Maggie thing to do. ‘I…you’re right.’_

‘I am,’ Kara grinned. ‘Don’t tell anyone I told you. As good as I am with secrets, this was exceptional ‘my sister deserves another shot at happiness’ circumstances, meaning I  _had_  to share otherwise classified information.’

‘You’re the best. Just not at keeping your mouth shut,’ Alex smiled, before her curiosity got the better of her. ‘Did you know Maggie bought Winn that camera?’

‘I did.’

‘Wow…you really are good at this whole secret keeping thing now, aren’t you?’

Kara gave a smug little shrug. ‘I--.’ Whatever she was about to say, she decided against it.

‘What?’

‘Nothing.’

‘No, you were gonna say something. What was it?’

‘It’s not for me to say and I’ve already said too much,’ Kara said, standing. ‘Maggie will tell you.’

‘Kara--.’

‘My lips are sealed.’

Alex pouted.

‘It’s all good I promise you,’ Kara pressed a kiss to the top of her sister's head. ‘Just focus on making sure she’s okay. And on telling her how you feel. Please?’

Alex nodded... _she could do that, right?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhh so Miss Sawyer has a secret, huh? x


	4. Chapter 4

Alex sucked at feelings.

Okay, that assessment was a little harsh. She wasn't the greatest at expressing them but she was getting better. Not that long ago, sharing the sort of information that she had to Susan, a stranger, would have been completely inconceivable, so being able to open up to her had marked definitive progress.

It was just…this was Maggie. This wasn’t someone she didn’t know, this was the woman that she loved with every fibre of her being – she wouldn’t be able to easily brush things off if, by saying how she really felt, things went south. It’d been almost two years since they’d broke up and, still, Alex carried that pain with her and had, as recently as just this month, clung to the pillow that used to be Maggie’s to try and ease her off to sleep.

She had never even begun to get over Maggie and, truthfully, knew she never would.

The thought of Maggie rejecting her was absolutely fucking terrifying.

Maggie was too drowsy the first few times she briefly woke for anything other than smiles or a couple of words to be exchanged. It was a good few hours before she pulled herself out of her drug-induced slumber to manage an actual conversation, her attention fixed on Alex’s glasses. ‘Those…are new.’

‘They are,’ Alex smiled.

‘They’re cute.’

Alex blushed. ‘Do you think you can stay awake for a little bit? The doctor wants to run a few quick tests whilst you’re with us, to check a few things.’

‘I can try.’

‘Great,’ Alex said and pressed the call button.

What followed was hard, as Maggie was told the horrifying details of what had happened to her. The torn aorta, the shattered wrist, the cardiac arrest, the attempted poisoning that had sent her body into shock…Maggie looked numb and held onto Alex’s hand tightly as Dr Stevenson had reeled everything off. The road ahead of her would be long, and Alex had made sure to squeeze her hand to let her know that, if Maggie needed her, she’d be there.

Thankfully, Maggie’s cognitive skills were fine, as she fired through the doctor’s questions. ‘And who is our current president?’

‘Thankfully, a woman and not that other bastard.’

Alex laughed. ‘Cognitive _and_ assessment skills seem totally fine, Doc.’

The doctor nodded. ‘I believe so too. We’ll have some forms for you to fill out at some point but there’s no rush. For now just rest, and let us know if you’re in any pain.’

Maggie smiled sleepily. ‘Will do.’

Dr Stevenson excused himself.

Once he was out of earshot, Maggie groaned. ‘Paperwork, great…as if I don’t do enough of that already.’

‘I can help you with it, if you want?’

‘Please do,’ Maggie said as she nestled back into her pillow, grimacing at the slight movement. ‘If you’re _that_ keen about filling out papers, then you can come to the precinct one day and work through the ever-growing stack on my desk.’

And there it was. The first of many difficult conversations that would have to be had. Alex didn’t know where to even begin. ‘Maggie…’

‘I know, I know…I’ll be bedbound for the foreseeable. Won’t be able to return for however long, I get it.’

If only it were that simple. If only Alex hadn’t brought another thing that Maggie cherished to a crushing end. ‘That’s not it, Maggie. We…we had to protect you from Cadmus. That’s why you’re here, and why we…why we had to take extraordinary measures.’

‘ _Extraordinary measures_? You’re starting to worry me a little,’ Maggie mumbled. ‘Whatever they were, they were obviously the _right_ measures…I’m alive and in the safest place right now. Whatever you did...tell me.’

So Alex spat it out. ‘We faked your death.’

Maggie looked like she was about to laugh before realizing that Alex was serious. ‘Shit…so I’m dead?’

‘Legally,’ Alex confirmed. ‘Cadmus can’t kill a dead person.’

‘No, no I get that but…but what about work?’

Alex diverted her gaze, looked down at the ground. ‘I’m sorry.’ That badge had been a big part of who Maggie Sawyer was, the thing that she was most proud of in life. And just like that, it was gone. ‘So, so sorry.’

A few seconds passed then, ‘Don’t be. It was the right call.’

Alex looked up. ‘Are you sure? You have every right to be mad.’

Maggie shook her head, before closing her eyes, already on the fast-track to another period of sleep. ‘I'm sure....I knew the risks, I’m lucky to still have my life.’

*** *** ***

There wasn’t much to do in hospitals, let alone the DEO medbay, so every time she woke, Maggie would fixate on a little detail around her. Alex’s glasses…the growing garden of flower bouquets…the diamond pendant that hung around Alex’s neck.

‘That’s a nice necklace,’ Maggie remarked as she caught Alex absentmindedly playing with it.

It really was. Alex didn’t wear jewellery often – it was something of a chore to have to remove it every day for work – but she’d made an exception for this particular necklace. ‘Kara got me it for my birthday.’

‘No, she didn’t.’

‘Yes, she--.’ The way Maggie smirked stopped her dead in her tracks. ‘Wait…did you?’

That smirk only widened.

‘Maggie, is this from you?’

‘Well….technically, it’s from _Tiffany’s_ \--.’

 _That secret…_ it had been, literally, under her nose the whole time. ‘You are unbelievable.’

‘I’m surprised you didn’t know. I thought Kara would’ve let it slip by now.’

Alex could feel herself getting choked up at the – very expensive – gesture. ‘You didn’t have to get me anything…I don’t deserve it.’

And there it was. ‘Ah…so we’re going to finally talk about the giant fucking elephant in the room.’

Alex glanced over at the stuffed toy that occupied an armchair. ‘It’s a bear…not an elephant.’

Maggie laughed. ‘You know when I first saw that, I _knew_ it was from your sister. It’s such a Kara thing to get. I mean, that thing is bigger than me.’

‘Not difficult.’

'Will you ever grow tired of the short jokes?’

‘Will you ever _grow_?’

‘Touché,’ Maggie grinned but it quickly faded, her expression growing serious. ‘But Alex…you know I was talking about.’

‘I know.’

‘And?’

‘And, honestly, I’m surprised that you even want me here, let alone bought me a birthday gift.’ Never mind a beautiful necklace, a birthday card would've been shocking.

‘Why? I don’t hate you, Alex. I’ve _never_ hated you.’

‘I wouldn’t blame you if you did.’ Alex hated _herself_ for what she did, how cold she'd been to the woman who'd brought colour into an otherwise drab life. ‘I lied to you and I broke your trust, all whilst making the biggest mis--.’

Two sharp knocks cut her off, as an oblivious Winn stuck his head round the open door. ‘Hey hey! Look who’s awake!’

‘Winslow,’ Maggie greeted with a smile.

‘ _Margaret_ ,’ Winn countered as he made his way over. ‘Is this a good time?’

Maggie exchanged a glance with Alex, before nodding. _They’d finish that conversation later_. ‘For you, it’s always a good time. How are you?’

‘M-Me?’ Winn stammered. ‘Are you for real? You’re asking _me_ if I’m _okay?_ ’

‘Yeah,’ Maggie nodded. ‘I mean you’re thirty now. You’re into your senior years.’

‘Wow,’ Winn muttered, before wagging a finger at Alex. ‘You’re just like her – you're _both_ older than me.’

‘But women live longer,’ Maggie said.

That prompted Winn to pout even more. ‘I hate you both.’

*** *** ***

Two days passed, and they never finished that conversation, a combination of the SuperFriends visiting constantly and because Alex both didn’t know how to casually broach the subject and was scared to. All she had to say was that she wanted Maggie more than she wanted kids but she couldn’t, because she was scared that Maggie would think that she was lying, even though she wasn’t. Again, it was her own doing – if she hadn’t pretended that she was okay with merely being a _cool aunt_ way back then, then this wouldn’t be the case.

She really was a fucking idiot.

Meanwhile, Maggie was a soldier who was about to undergo another surgery, this one to repair her broken wrist. ‘Can you do something for me whilst I’m out?’

‘Anything.’

‘Go home, shower and change your clothes,’ Maggie said matter-of-factly. ‘You haven’t left my bedside since I got here, and I’m guessing since the hospital too, which is amazing and I really appreciate it but, Alex--.’

‘I’m starting to smell a little, aren’t I?’

‘Kinda,’ Maggie affirmed.

It had been five days, she could hardly disagree. ‘Okay, I will,’ Alex said. ‘Do you want me to bring you anything? Clothes? DVDs? Some weird vegan contraband of your choosing?’

Maggie smiled. ‘Something different to wear would be nice.’

There was a knock at the door. ‘Miss Sawyer? Are you ready to go?’

‘As ready as I’ll ever be.’

Alex leaned forward and placed a kiss on Maggie’s forehead, an area that had become a safe, platonic area for the SuperFriends to express their affection since hugs were out of the equation. ‘See you on the other side.’

Once Maggie had been wheeled away, Alex headed home. It wouldn’t take more than hour to get there, shower, pack a bag and head back to the DEO, so she’d definitely be there when Maggie woke. She hit the shower first then, hair still wet, grabbed a sports bag and looked for some tops that would be best for someone recuperating from chest surgery.

And that was when she saw it. Nestled at the bottom of a drawer. That orange sun.

Alex hadn’t bought it or even ever wore it – orange wasn’t her colour, something that her sister hadn’t apparently realized. Alex hadn’t had the heart to throw away the gift, instead opting to bury it in a drawer where she had forgotten all about it. Until that morning. That morning when that ugly orange shirt became part of the most beautiful sight in the world.

After the break-up, Alex had again refused to throw the thing away and, again, decided to hide it, instead only now because it hurt her heart, rather than her eyes.

She shoved it back in the drawer, and picked out a few baggy football jerseys and a couple of oversized shirts.

Alex finished packing just as her sister swooped in through the balcony door. ‘You ever heard of this thing called knocking?’

‘I saw it was open. Knocking would have wasted time.’

 _Wasted time_? Alex’s stomach lurched. ‘Why, what’s wrong? Is Maggie okay?’

Kara was quick to reassure. ‘Maggie is fine, still in surgery and all is going well. I’m actually here for you. I’m taking you out to lunch, and I’m _starving._ ’

‘Oh, I can’t. I want to be there when Maggie--.’

‘This isn’t up for discussion,’ Kara said firmly as she pulled her phone out of her pocket. ‘Maggie _told_ me to take you out for lunch. Listen if you don’t believe me.’ She held her phone out, and there came Maggie’s voice.

_‘Your sister is taking you out for lunch. Do not argue with her, or you’ll have me to answer to. End of discussion.’_

There was always something incredibly sexy about authoritative Maggie Sawyer and, god, was Alex so whipped for her. She sighed. ‘Fine. But I’m choosing the place.’

*** *** ***

It was early evening when she finally got back to the DEO.

‘Did you know our beloved Winn is one of _those_ people who watches Christmas films in July?’ Maggie asked, her eyes not moving from the laptop in front of her.

‘I did not,’ Alex replied as she took her usual seat. ‘How did things go?’

‘Good,’ Maggie smiled before waving her new cast for Alex to see. ‘They put a few more pieces of metal in there than initially planned so I’m getting even closer to my goal of one day becoming _Robocop_. _Oh_.’ That seemingly gave her an idea and she tapped a few keys before pouting. ‘Damn. It’s not on _Netflix_ anymore. Bastards.’

‘ _Amazon_ will probably have it. Use my account if you want.’

‘Same password?’

‘Same password,’ Alex confirmed.

Maggie’s face lit up as she found it. ‘Wanna watch it with me?’ She patted the space on the bed beside her. ‘C’mon, it’s a classic.’

It was a bigger than average hospital bed and Maggie was tiny, meaning there was more than enough room for the two of them. Yet Alex was hesitant. ‘Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.’ She had caused Maggie enough pain as it was.

Maggie was certain. ‘Yeah. There’s space, join me.’

So Alex did, and with great nerves and care. Once the guardrail was pulled back up, there was no going back.

And Maggie trapped her further, by resting her head on her shoulder.

Alex’s heart started to hammer, and she’d be surprised if her ex-fiancée couldn’t hear it. The situation felt so familiar…felt so perfect.

The movie started playing and it took all of twenty minutes of it for Maggie to fall asleep, as she had a habit of always doing. Alex couldn’t help but smile. Her interest in the film had been non-existent to begin with, but now? With a sleeping beauty cuddled up to her? She couldn’t _not_ stare, finding the gentle snores as cute as ever.

And she couldn’t stop the whispered words from tumbling out her mouth just as gunfire erupted from the laptop – gunfire that was loud, and stirred a typically heavy sleeper.

The words were already on their way out, it was too late to reel them back in,

‘I wish you were my wife.’

Words that Maggie surely heard as her eyes shot open...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh........  
> Thoughts? x


	5. Chapter 5

_I wish you were my wife_.

Maggie had freaked out.

Not at the confession but, rather, at the poor choice of movie.

Alex had suffered through that movie countless times when they’d been together; she had no excuses for forgetting how violent the damn thing was, especially that particular moment within the first half hour – the part that had startled a sleeping Maggie – when the lead character, a cop no less, got shot repeatedly. She should’ve remembered, and she should’ve gently suggested something that wouldn’t hit so close to home…but she hadn’t, instead facilitating the screening by offering access to her _amazon_ account to watch it. And now she was holding Maggie tightly, whispering reassuring words over and over again. ‘You’re okay, you’re okay.’

It took a few moments for Maggie to calm down, let out a sigh and, seemingly embarrassed, bury her head into Alex’s side. ‘Sorry…just a little jumpy.’

One hand rubbed soothing circles on Maggie’s back, whilst the other reached out to close the laptop. ‘That’s understandable.’ Four troubling letters crossed Alex’s mind – _PTSD_. It certainly was a real possibility but then, just mere days after being shot in her own home, so was a general sense of skittishness, especially at certain movies. Regardless, Alex would make sure to pay close attention, just in case. ‘You’re safe though. It’s okay.’

Maggie mumbled something before it dawned on her, and she pulled away. ‘Shit, I fell asleep on you, didn’t I?’

‘You did but it’s alright. I don’t mind.’

‘It’s not…weird?’

Alex answered that question by gently guiding Maggie back to her. ‘You know it was inevitable that you were going to fall asleep during that film – it’s _boring_ , couldn’t you have picked a better one?’

‘Yeah, probably not the best viewing when someone broke into my apartment and shot me in the chest.’ The acknowledgement was unexpected, for Maggie had only spoke about the shooting once, when giving an account of the incident.

Alex didn’t want to let the rare opportunity go. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’

‘Not really,’ Maggie said, soberly. Then, ‘But can we?’

‘Absolutely.’

This telling of the story was more detailed than the first. ‘My apartment complex used to be an old factory or distillery. When they remodelled the place, they kept some of the original features to keep some of the character. There’s a huge metal column in the middle of the living room area and the front door was also retained…thankfully so, because there’s no quiet way to open a hundred-year-old, heavy metal door. It woke me up.’

‘Thank god you insist on sleeping with a gun,’ Alex remarked and Maggie gave a small nod.

‘I was out of bed within seconds…I took cover by the doorway and tried to see out – the perks of having a bedroom door, by the way.’

Maggie’s distain for Alex’s open planned apartment never failed to make Alex smile.

Maggie continued. ‘I couldn’t see anything, it was too dark…I stupidly left my phone charging by the bed, so I went over to grab it and that…that was when he saw me.’

And now came the hard part.

‘I thought the pain would be instant…it wasn’t. I just heard the gunshot so I fired, repeatedly, at him…I heard him drop to the ground and then…then I felt it.’

A combination of luck and mostly alien foes had meant that Alex had never been shot before. Shot _at_ , yes – but the closest she had come to actually being shot was a bullet grazing her Kevlar. She couldn’t even begin to imagine the pain.

‘I hit the deck…my wrist took the brunt of the fall. It snapped and I dropped my phone. I had to drag myself over to reach it so I could call dispatch and make the one call that a cop never wants to make,’ _Officer down,_ ‘And then I just…lay there. The pain subsided and I felt tired and I thought…I thought this was it. That I was dead.’

Now Alex could imagine because she had experienced that, in that tank as she had struggled to keep her head above water.

‘And all I could think about…was you.’

And in that goddamn tank, all Alex thought about Maggie too. ‘Maggie--.’

‘And I know what it sounds like, like some sick sort of emotional blackmail so that you’ll take me back but I don’t mean it like that, I promise. It’s just the truth…all I thought about when I thought I was dying, was you.’

Alex’s heart was in limbo, not sure whether to break or to be overjoyed. ‘Can…can I be honest too?’

‘Go for it.’

And Alex did. ‘I think about you every day.’ Maggie was the first and last thing on her mind, the empty kingsize bed a painful reminder of what she had lost. ‘I think about that day…and about how I made a huge mistake--.’

‘Alex, no. You didn’t, you want kids--.’

‘ _Wanted_ ,’ Alex corrected, then proceeded to correct herself. ‘No, that’s a lie. I would like kids.’

‘And I refuse to stand in your way,’ Maggie said firmly. ‘You know how I said that Kara and I kept in touch?’

‘Yeah?’

‘I’d always ask how you were doing, and she’d tell me. And, every time that she told me that you were struggling, I’d tell her to tell you the same thing – to move on.’

‘That…was _you_?’

‘C’mon…do you really think that your sister is qualified to give relationship advice?’ Maggie laughed. ‘It was _always_ me telling her what to say, because otherwise she’d be encouraging you to chase after me, and we all know how that would have went. Right back to square one, because we want different things.’

That wasn’t true. ‘Don’t you want me?’

Maggie looked offended at the question. ‘ _Of course_ , I want you.’

‘Then we don’t want different things,’ Alex insisted. ‘Yes, I’d like to be a mom and it would be great but it’s just like what you said it was…it’s a concept.’

‘No, it’s not. You could go, right now, and start the adoption process if you wanted.’

‘Yeah, but if I did then I’d have to give up my job,’ Alex said. ‘I know what it’s like to lose a parent, and I don’t want to inflict that on anyone, let alone a kid. I already gave you up for this stupid notion and I’ve not been happy since…it’s not worth all these sacrifices.’

Maggie nodded. ‘So?’

Alex took a deep breath, ready to say words that she had only dreamt of having the chance to say. ‘So I--.’

Would have to keep dreaming, as Winn burst into the room. _Bad timing…again_. ‘Hey, I--.’ He looked up from his iPad, and rocked backwards. ‘I’m interrupting again, aren’t I?’

‘Kinda,’ Alex muttered, shooting him a glare.

‘It’s fine,’ Maggie reassured, cuddling into Alex that little bit more to reassure her too. ‘What’s up?’

Winn still looked unconvinced, but proceeded nonetheless. ‘We have a Cadmus update.’

*** *** ***

Alex left Maggie to rest, and joined the others around the Intel table. ‘What have we got?’

‘We know who ‘Melissa’ is.’ Winn slid his iPad over to Alex. ‘Her name is Amber Ellis, she’s thirty-two years old and lives in a quaint little apartment by the waterfront.’

‘Where did this come from? I thought we had nothing on her.’

‘We did until about a half hour ago, when she was reported missing by her boyfriend. Once her picture entered the missing person database, it pinged on our server,’ Winn explained. ‘Jackson – the boyfriend – has been out of town for a few weeks, she has no immediate family and is currently unemployed--.’

‘In other words, Amber seemed like the perfect pawn for Cadmus,’ Alex finished.

‘Indeed,’ J’onn mused. ‘But that’s not all…Agent Schott?’

Winn continued. ‘Amber has a _Google_ account.’

Alex frowned. ‘And so do I? I’m sorry but I’m not following.’

‘If you have your location enabled on your phone, then _Google Maps_ tracks exactly where you go – and, in case of abductions, where your phone suddenly stops working when it no doubt gets destroyed--.’

‘Winn, you genius.’

‘Nope, save all your praise for Miss Sawyer,’ Winn said, deflecting. ‘Because just a couple of hundred feet away from where Amber was last tracked on the map, is a location that Maggie noted was rumoured to be an old Cadmus site. I don’t think that’s coincidence, not when Amber took that same route multiple times a week.’

‘They’ve been watching her,’ Alex said. ‘We need to hit that place up.’

J’onn nodded. ‘We have a tactical team gearing up as we speak. Do you want to join us, Agent Danvers?’

‘I do.’ Of course she did, this could be the first step in getting justice for Maggie. ‘But could you hang on a couple of minutes? There’s just one thing that I need to do first.’

*** *** ***

Even though she knew for a fact that Maggie would be more than okay with it, Alex still sought out permission to go. ‘Thanks to your Intel, we have a possible lead on an active Cadmus site, and I want to go.’

The mission wasn’t Maggie’s primary concern, and she gestured towards Alex’s leg. ‘Are you sure that you’re up to it?’

‘Yeah, it’s just a scratch.’ Still ever so slightly sore every now and then but, for the most part, Alex had forgotten that she had even been wounded. ‘It won’t affect me, I’ll be okay.’

That satisfied Maggie. ‘Then go.’

Alex couldn’t, not just yet. ‘Could you do me a favour?’

‘Anything.’

 _Anything…they were each other’s ride or dies, after all._ ‘I can’t wear this in the field,’ Alex said as she removed her necklace, that beautiful diamond pendant. ‘Could you keep it safe for me?’

Maggie nodded and, to Alex’s surprise, sat forward a little.

Alex had been expecting to simply hand it to her, yet instead she gently brushed Maggie’s thick curls to the side, so she could affix the chain around Maggie’s neck.

Maggie caught Alex’s arm as she went to pull back. ‘And do _me_ a favour and keep _yourself_ safe for me.’

Mere inches were between them, and the temptation to kiss those lips, to return _home_ , was so real and so strong, yet Alex resisted. She had to. As much as she sensed they were on the cusp of something, it had to be Maggie who closed the distance. So Alex just smiled. ‘I’ll be back soon, I promise.’

*** *** ***

It was indeed a Cadmus facility, and a chillingly active one too. Inside were little prison cells, each of which containing poor people like Amber Ellis. As she always did, Alex thought she might find her father there but didn’t. However, she took great solace in the fact that successful raids like these took Cadmus scum into custody, and rescued innocent people – though their lives would never be the same, as they’d lost entire lifetimes of memories.

After securing the building, J’onn insisted that Alex leave. ‘Everything is covered here. Get back to her, and we’ll keep you updated.’

Alex didn’t need telling twice. She jumped in her SUV and headed back to the DEO, making a quick pitstop at a gas station on the way. She bought soda, candies, a couple of puzzlebooks (Maggie had a weird Sudoku obsession) and a bouquet of flowers. She felt the need to apologize for the petunias as she entered Maggie’s room and, to her surprise, found her awake. ‘I know you said you were concerned about this place turning into a flower shop but I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself.’

‘They’re beautiful,’ Maggie smiled.

Alex placed the vase down on the bedside table, and felt courageous. ‘Then they’re apt.’

The comment brought out a little colour in Maggie’s cheeks, but she deflected. ‘How did it go?’

‘Not totally groundbreaking but we did catch a few Cadmus minions and rescued a few people, so it was definitely worthwhile,’ Alex said, before adding, ‘None of this would have happened without your Intel…you made this happen.’

Maggie nodded. ‘I’m glad.’ Humble, as always. That girl deserved a medal or twenty for all the hard, selfless work she’d put in. Instead, all she had for her troubles was a bullet to the chest and a death certificate…that was just how the universe seemed to treat her.

Alex’s fingers danced along the guardrail, desperate to hold Maggie’s hand but it was resting peacefully on her stomach. ‘I didn’t expect you to still be awake. Are you not tired?’

‘A little but I wanted to make sure that you got back in one piece. Well, that and…’ she tailed off as she looked over at the door. ‘Does that have a lock?’

‘Yes, why?’

Maggie was quick to make things wonderfully, and perfectly, clear. ‘’Cause I don’t want to interrupted when I kiss you.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?? :) x


	6. Chapter 6

One kiss was all it took to restore Alex’s world to perfect colour.

And the act of coming home to those soft lips left Alex breathless. ‘Are…you sure…about this? I lied to you, I broke your trust, I--.’

‘I trust you,’ Maggie said firmly. ‘I’ve never _not_ trusted you. You lied about the kids thing, yeah…but that was because you were trying to save us. It wasn’t malicious, and I sure as hell have never been mad about it. How could I have been?’

‘I should’ve told you sooner.’

‘Yes, you should have. But that was a communication issue and we will work on that.’

Alex couldn’t believe it. She’d thought, and had been prepared, to walk over broken glass to even begin to have a chance to win Maggie back. ‘How do you know I’m telling you the truth this time?’

‘I just do.’

Then Alex remembered what she’d said which was, also, the reason why they had been brought back together – hell, the reason that Alex had even had the job that had led to their paths crossing. ‘My father.’

‘You’d never use the pain you felt about losing him for blackmail.’

Alex nodded. ‘I…never thanked you. For trying to bring him back. I appreciate that, more than words could ever say.’

‘You watched the video?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Well I’m glad it wasn’t made in vain but, Alex? I’m still going to try and bring him back. He’s alive and that bullet isn’t stopping me. The second I’m back on my feet, I’ll be back looking for him.’

‘And I’ll be right by your side.’

Maggie smiled. ‘I like the sound of that. However, that’s later. Now? Now, I just want cuddles. Can you help me out with that?’

*** *** ***

No more clinging to pillows anymore…this time, she fell asleep with the real, warm and cuddly deal.

It was the best night’s sleep that Alex had had in ages, and the best morning too, when she woke up, crushed against the guardrail but never happier with Maggie by her side. It hadn’t been a dream  - it was real.

‘Morning love.’

Alex would never tire of waking up to that sweet, sleepy voice. She turned and pressed a kiss to Maggie’s forehead. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Never better,’ Maggie smiled.

The feeling was mutual. ‘Can I ask a question?’

‘Go for it.’

‘What are we? Now, I mean? Are we girlfriends? Partners? Fiancées?’

Maggie didn’t even stop to think. ‘We’re soulmates. Always destined to find our way back to each other, even if it takes a bullet to the chest.’

There were no arguments there, though Alex still had questions. ‘Did you mean for me to still be your emergency contact?’

‘Honestly, I forgot – it’s not exactly the first thing that comes to your mind after your heart breaks. But then…even if I had remembered, it’s not like I have a long list of people to choose from.’ Maggie nuzzled Alex’s shoulder. ‘I am so lucky to have found you. It _had_ to be have been awkward for you, when you got that call.’

‘You could say…I thought one of your colleagues was going to punch me.’ She mentally chided herself for using the word _colleagues_ , instantly remembering that a dead person didn’t have co-workers anymore.

Thankfully, the term went uncorrected. ‘Who?’

‘Grisham.’

Maggie frowned. ‘Seriously? Since when did that headass give a damn about me? He isn’t my friend.’

‘Well, he was ready to come swinging at me.’

‘Jesus…I bet the bastard will probably give a rousing eulogy at my funeral, and act like he actually knew me.’

‘I’ll tackle him to the ground if he tries.’ She wasn’t looking forward to the ceremony. Her no doubt unwelcome presence was merely to keep up appearances. It was a cop funeral, rather than a private affair, so Cadmus would likely keep an eye on it. So, as uncomfortable (and unnecessary) as the whole thing would be, Alex was going.

‘When is it again? My invite must’ve gotten lost in the post.’

‘A week tomorrow.’

‘Cool…am I being buried or cremated?’

‘Cremated – just in case Cadmus tries to go graverobbing.’ Alex couldn’t get over how chilling this plan was. Everyone at that funeral, besides herself and Kara and the handful of DEO agents that were posing as funeral directors, would believe that Maggie was actually inside that coffin. Their grief would be real, and their hearts would be heavy. It was twisted but it had to be done. ‘This is the _only_ time that I’m planning on going to your funeral by the way, so you either let me go first or we go out together.’

‘Let’s go out together…preferably in a blaze of glory.’

‘Deal.’

Maggie reached for Alex’s hand and entwined her fingers. ‘You know…I never believed in the notion of soulmates before I met you.’

Alex hadn’t either. Hell, she hadn’t even believed in love prior to Maggie.

‘You were always different,’ Maggie continued. ‘Always, and not just ‘cause you were a baby gay…if I’m being honest, you satisfied me more that first night than any woman I’ve ever been with. No…there’s just always been something about you, something that I could never shake. Magnetism, I guess… and it scared me. I’ve never had a great track record with relationships, so I was terrified I’d screw things up before we ever got anywhere.’

Alex related.

‘Seeing you when I woke up, I didn’t think it was real. I thought I had died because it – _you_ \- was too good to be true…but it was. You were there.’

‘And I’ll _always_ be there. But don’t end up in a hospital bed again, please?’

Maggie laughed. ‘Deal.’

*** *** ***

They had a lazy morning, bingeing harmless sitcoms before, and understandably so, Maggie grew restless, sick to her back teeth of her surroundings. Alex was quick to offer an alternative. ‘Wanna go on a trip?’

In the week or so since the shooting, Maggie hadn’t been out of bed for any prolonged periods. She could walk, but was still very tender and became breathless if she pushed herself too much. It was hard to watch, and even harder to hear her cries of pain. She’d grumble about how much she hated it, before remarking about how _useless_ she felt and Alex would always make sure to reassure that was not the case, that it was okay to need help and hoped, so much, that her notoriously stubborn girlfriend would finally come to accept that line of thinking.

 _Girlfriend_.

Was that the correct term for them now? As apt as _soulmates_ was, they’d never actually defined the parameters of their relationship. Would they recommence their engagement and return to planning their big gay wedding? Or would they take it slow, go back to being girlfriends and, later on, begin to think about marriage?

Either sounded nice; Alex didn’t really care as just being together was more than enough, but a part of her longed for the latter because she wanted the chance to propose again, and give Maggie the proposal that she _deserved_  - not just six words with no ring.

 _Later,_ she told herself. That wasn’t pressing right now. What _was_ pressing was making sure that Maggie’s recovery went as smoothly as possible.

‘I’ve got you,’ Alex said as she helped Maggie down from the bed and into the waiting wheelchair. She grabbed a blanket for Maggie’s knees, and then a pillow to prop the casted wrist up on. ‘You good?’

Maggie smiled as she leaned in for a kiss. ‘I’m _perfect_.’

‘Aren’t you just?’ _Girlfriends_ or _fiancées_ , it didn’t matter. This, whatever _this_ was, was just like Maggie said – _perfect_. ‘Okay Little Miss Perfect, let’s go.’

The DEO offered few attractions, but there was one place, three levels below ground, that Alex had in mind. Very few people had access, but Deputy Director Danvers did, the door sliding open at the recognition of her fingerprint. She flicked on the lights, and Maggie let out a gasp. ‘Wow…how is this place real?’

‘If anyone asks, it’s not,’ Alex said as she wheeled Maggie deeper into the vault full of rocks, plants and artifacts all from planets that the general public had absolutely no idea existed. ‘Oh, and if that _anyone_ is Pam from HR, you definitely do not know that this place exists – she hates me enough as it is, and she scares me.’

‘You and me both,’ Maggie remarked. ‘This place is…I mean, I have no words. I thought the upper levels of the DEO were like _Area 51_ but this floor? It’s incredible.’

Alex crouched down in front of Maggie. ‘It’s a metaphor.’

‘What’s a metaphor?’

‘This place, for you. Wait, I think it’s a metaphor,’ she’d never been the greatest at English and, on top of that, her nerves had gotten the best of her. She took a deep breath, then attempted to express herself. ‘What I’m trying to say is…this universe is amazing but you? You’re even more amazing than everything in this room combined.’

The statement made Maggie’s dimples deeper than all of the craters on all of the various rocks. ‘I love you.’ She wiped at her cloudy eyes. ‘And your nerdiness.’

*** *** ***

After an hour or so, they headed back up, on their way to hang out with Winn at his desk. Then Maggie reached behind to grab Alex’s arm just as Winn came into sight. ‘Turn around. Now.’ There was urgency in her voice.

‘Why, what’s--.’

‘Do it, Alex.’

Alex did as she was told, but didn’t understand. ‘Maggie?’

‘Take me back to my room.’

Again, Alex followed instructions, confused but didn’t question them.

Then, in the privacy of the private room, Maggie explained. ‘That agent Winn was talking to works for Cadmus.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ruh-roh...


	7. Chapter 7

_Cadmus_.

Alex wished she was even remotely surprised by the revelation. ‘That guy is definitely Cadmus?’

‘Definitely,’ Maggie affirmed. ‘I watched over a few of their meets and he seemed to be Lillian Luthor’s personal chauffeur and, apparently, her man on the inside too. Do you know him?’

The DEO was an ever-changing array of faces, it was difficult to keep up. ‘I recognised his face. Not sure of his name, but I think he’s been here for a little while. A few months, maybe?’

‘What’s your standard recruiting procedure here?’

‘Most agents are from military backgrounds, and the rest come from elsewhere within the government - secret service, usually.’

‘Well I sure as hell hope he’s military, because he’s been with Cadmus for a while. In fact, he’ll be in some of the pictures on the microSD…though I doubt you’ll be able to definitively ID him from them, since their meets were always at night, and I had to keep my distance.’

Pictures weren’t necessary. ‘We don’t need them. If you say he’s Cadmus, then he’s Cadmus. I trust you.’ As it dawned on Alex, a wave of worry crashed down on her. ‘He didn’t see you here, did he?’ Maggie’s ‘death’ had been registered on the servers and, thus, there was no way that anyone within the building would know she was alive unless they saw her – something that Alex hadn’t figured was a problem when she was parading Maggie about, because she’d wrongly assumed her place of work was secure. And if he _had_ seen her, Alex would forever hate herself for putting Maggie right back in danger, after vowing to protect her.

‘I don’t think so.’

That lifted a little weight from Alex’s shoulders and chest. ‘Okay,’ she said before pulling out her phone, going straight into her text chain with Winn. Her fingers hovered over the screen as she decided how to word things, not wanting to panic the guy but to also make it clear that things were urgent.

**_Alex: Hey, you got a second?_ **

She exited out of that conversation, and immediately entered into another.

**_Alex: Maggie’s room. ASAP x_ **

Kara was there within the minute. ‘What’s going on?’

‘Close the door,’ Alex instructed.

Kara did as she was told before coming over to the two of them, smiling at Maggie. ‘You’re glowing.’

‘Am I?’ Maggie said with a smirk that prompted the youngest Danvers to exchange a look with her sister.

Alex smiled in confirmation before changing the topic. ‘Cadmus has infiltrated the DEO.’

‘What? How, and who?’

‘Some agent that was talking to Winn, Maggie recognised him,’ Alex said, glancing down at her phone to see if the notoriously quick replier had even read the message yet. He had not. ‘He didn’t see her thankfully, but Maggie’s not leaving this room for the foreseeable.’

‘Did I mention how much I fucking love Cadmus?’ Maggie muttered.

Alex hated the whole situation even more. ‘Kara can you hang around here whilst I go find Winn?’

‘Absolutely. I’m sure we’ll have _plenty_ to talk about,’ her sister said with a wink.

_Of course they did_. And Alex couldn’t care less. Not because there were more pressing issues at hand, but because she knew how genuinely happy her sister was for them. To have such a wonderful support system like that? That meant the absolute world. ‘I’ll be back as soon as I can.’

*** *** ***

Winn wasn’t at his desk; nor was he in the breakroom, or the locker room, and he still wasn’t replying to, or even reading her messages. She'd tried calling but it had rung out.

She caught J’onn as he was exiting the elevator. ‘Have you seen Winn?’

J’onn shook his head. ‘I have not, no. Given the time, he might be on his lunchbreak?’

‘He’s not replying to my texts and, uh...’ she tailed off, realizing this hallway was a little too public. She took J’onn’s arm and led him into an empty conference room. ‘We have a mole. Cadmus. Maggie recognised an agent talking to Winn and now I can’t find him.’ If there was one thing that Cadmus loved more than attempting to obliterate alien life, it was hurting people who Alex loved. And Alex loved Winn…he was her dorky little brother, who she loved to tease but would murder someone with her bare hands if they so much as touched a hair on his head. ‘I’m starting to worry a little. He’s not even _seen_ my messages, and he _always_ has his phone in his hand.’

‘Is Maggie--.’

‘She’s with Kara, I wasn’t going to leave her alone.’ _Not after the last time_.

J’onn gave a thoughtful nod. ‘Alright, I want you to return to her. I’ll check the security cameras, see where he went and I’ll come join you.’ He rested a hand on her shoulder, to try and ease her growing sense of fear. It didn’t work, but she appreciated the gesture.

‘Thanks J’onn.’

*** *** ***

‘J’onn’s looking through--.’

Kara welcomed Alex back with a hug that knocked the breath out of her. ‘Happy for you guys. Really.’

‘I…am too but…Kara…hug is…too tight.’

Her sister immediately pulled away. ‘Sorry, sorry! You know I forget my own strength sometimes.’

Maggie sniggered.

‘I don’t know why you’re laughing,’ Alex said, wagging a finger in her girl’s direction. ‘Once you’re fully healed, she’ll be crushing your ribs too.’

Kara nodded. ‘Yep, I will make sure of it. The hug part, not the rub crushing part,’ she added before turning her attention back to Alex. ‘Sorry, what were you about to say? Did you find Winn?’

Alex shook her head. ‘No, and I still haven’t heard from him either. J’onn’s checking camera footage to see where he went.’

There was no need to say it out loud; they were all the same page, all starting to fear the worst. ‘What about his tracker?’ Maggie asked.

‘He doesn’t have one. Only field agents are given them.’ Though after this, Alex would be sure to make a motion to ensure that all agents would be required to be fitted with one. ‘If they have him--.’

‘We don’t know that yet,’ Kara said. ‘Jumping to conclusions won’t help anyone.

‘It isn’t looking good though, even you can admit that.’

‘How not? They were just talking--.’

‘This is Cadmus, Kara,’ Alex countered. ‘ _Cadmus_. And they know Winn’s friends with me, with _us_. Maybe they want to check Maggie’s really dead, or maybe they want to hurt him just to get to me. Let’s be real here, it’s probably both and, you know what? When I finally get my hands on Lillian Luthor again, I’m not hesitating.’

‘Alex--.’

‘No, Kara. I know what you stand for, that you never want to kill unless it’s absolutely necessary. It’s admirable, really. But this _is_ necessary. Frankly, letting Lillian rot in a prison cell is more than she deserves.’ Alex had to pause to take a deep breath, before the rage that was bubbling inside of her reached boiling point. ‘Lillian can’t be redeemed. Ever.’

‘But you know what can be redeemed?’

Alex spun around at the voice, finding the man of the hour standing in the doorway. ‘Winn?’

‘Nope, not me,’ Winn grinned as he waved a sandwich at her. ‘A coupon for a free six inch sub.’

‘I…what?’

‘It was free with the newspaper this morning,’ he explained but, really didn’t explain a damn thing.

‘What are you talking about? Where were you?’

‘ _Subway_.’

‘You went to _Subway_?’

‘Yes…to redeem my free six-inch sub, with two free fillings. I went for the classic ham and cheese.’

Alex wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh or smack that damn sandwich out of his hand. ‘We thought something had happened to you.’

‘At _Subway_?’

Again, Maggie sniggered.

‘No, you--.’ She stopped herself before saying _idiot_ or some variation of the word. It wasn’t the poor guy’s fault, after all. ‘Okay, we should explain.’

*** *** ***

The double agent was apprehended.

His name was Andrew Jackson and he’d been feeding Cadmus technical blueprints for months but, thankfully, was still under the impression that Maggie was dead.

It was a weight off Alex’s shoulders but she refused to let herself get complacent, upping security around Maggie’s room. The guards – all vetted by J’onn reading their minds – wouldn’t be needed for long, for Maggie was finally set to be discharged on Tuesday, the day before her faux-funeral, and a safehouse was already in place.

Instead of random agents packing up Maggie’s apartment, Alex volunteered and took her sister along with her to help, and not just with the heavy lifting.

Alex knew this would be tough and, damn was she right.

The apartment had been occupied for almost eighteen months but it still looked empty. A few jackets hung by the door, boots beneath them and there were some plants dotted around the place but, other than that, there were few signs of life. A fruit bowl lay vacant on the kitchen island, a sole magnet was on the fridge and there was not a single photograph on display anywhere. Maggie hadn’t been living, rather just merely existing.

Alex could relate.

‘Oh, her little bonsai tree.’ Kara lifted up a dying leaf with her index finger. ‘Do you think it can be saved?’

‘Human and alien physiology are my areas of expertise, not plants,’ Alex said as she took in the sad sight. ‘But even I’d say it’s a goner.’

‘Put replacement bonsais on the list of essentials for her new place,’ Kara noted. ‘Where do you want to start?’

‘I’ll take the bedroom, and you can start with the kitchen?’

‘That works.’

It got tougher when she stepped foot in the bedroom and, vividly, remembered the crime scene pictures. There had been so much blood, it’d been a miracle that Maggie had pulled through. It took five steps for Alex to reach the exact spot where Maggie had been laying, preparing herself for death.

Alex’s eyes began to sting.

‘She’s on the mend, and will be going home with you soon,’ Kara said gently, resting a hand on Alex’s shoulder. ‘Don’t think about the past…think about the amazing future that you’re going to have _together_.’

Alex gave a nod; her sister was right. There were so many things to look forward to, and this time she would cherish them even more. Life really could be too short.

‘I can do this room, if you don’t want to.’

‘No,’ Alex wiped her eyes. ‘I can manage.’

*** *** ***

Alex started with the dresser, finding a number of her stolen shirts in the process.

‘Little thief,’ she muttered to herself, though that might have been a little harsh – their wardrobe had more or less amalgamated when they had moved in together, and their similar styles had made it almost impossible to distinguish who actually owned what. Although that defence fell short as the old _Bears_ jersey she found was undeniably hers.

In the beside cabinet, Alex found a photo frame sitting on top of some loose coins. The picture was of their first Christmas together, and they were both wearing ugly sweaters, cuddled up on Kara’s couch. Maggie was holding a glass of rose in one hand, whilst the other rested on Alex’s thigh. It had always been Maggie’s favourite picture of the two of them, and she had made no secret of the fact as the frame had proudly sat by their bed – Alex had a hunch that it would occupy a similar position in the safehouse.

The bedroom was as empty as the rest of the house, and once the dresser, cabinet and closet were cleared, that was pretty much it. Alex checked to see if anything was hidden under the bed, before then proceeding to check under the mattress for the same reason, finding a tattered piece of paper. Normally, she wouldn’t pry but it had obviously been hidden for a reason. Her mind instantly jumped to Cadmus, so she made the decision to carefully unfold it.

It had nothing to do with Cadmus.

No.

No, it was worse than that. Way worse, and Alex’s heart sank as she caught a glimpse of the first line of Maggie’s handwriting.

_My gorgeous Alex_.

It was the vows that she had never gotten the chance to say and Alex knew, just _knew_ that it was wrong to continue reading, but she couldn’t stop herself.

_You make me so inconceivably happy, that I can’t even begin to express how much you mean to me. I’ve never felt this level of love before, nor have I ever felt this loved. Becoming your wife will be the greatest honour of my life, and it will be an honour that I promise I will never, ever take for granted. I also promise to love you, to protect you and to make you feel special every day of your life…_

That was all there was, obviously not yet finished but they were, easily, the most beautiful words that Alex had ever read.

She folded up the piece of paper back up, and left it on top of the bed before leaving the room, on her way to exit the apartment. ‘I’ll be back soon, alright?’

‘How, where are you--.’

Alex had already left.

*** *** ***

She paced for a good five minutes, steeling herself as she went over the words in her head before finding the courage to go for it, heading down the hallway into Maggie’s room.

‘Hey, that was quick.’ Maggie’s smile was replaced by confusion as Alex closed the laptop in front of her. ‘Babe, is everything okay? You seem…serious.’

‘I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life,’ she said, as she lowered herself down onto one knee and, with shaking hands, pulled a familiar engagement ring out of her pocket. ‘I don’t ever want to lose you again; I want to spend the rest of my life with you…so, will you marry me? This time, it will actually happen, I promise.’

A few seconds passed, as Maggie’s surprise faded and, she too, was serious. ‘No.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...oh.


	8. Chapter 8

The few seconds that passed felt like the longest of Alex’s life; a life that, with just one word, suddenly felt empty, once again

 _No_.

Maggie had said _no_.

The past year and a half had proven, without any doubt, that a life without Maggie Sawyer was no life at all. Rather it was an existence; a routine of waking up every morning alone, going to work, and then returning to a lonely apartment. Alex couldn’t go back to that nothingness, that despair, that--.

And then Maggie smiled. ‘I do want to marry you – more than _anything_ in the world – but Alex? This is way too soon. Even by your standards.’

The affirmation that the beautiful, smart, funny and caring (she could go on forever with adjectives about that girl) Maggie Sawyer wanted to marry her, nearly made Alex miss that last part. But she caught it, and frowned. ‘ _My…standards_?’

Now it was Maggie’s turn to frown. ‘C’mon really? Babe, you have a tendency to rush into things and, whilst I do typically appreciate your spontaneity, this a proposal of marriage. _Another_ proposal of marriage…and I’m not ready to jump back into an engagement, not right now.’ She patted the space beside her on the bed, and Alex accepted the invitation. ‘Listen, I can’t wait for our wedding day, really I can’t…but I was just shot; doctors had to crack my chest open and my heart, literally, stopped beating. Do you really think that I’m anywhere near ready to have your sister constantly nag me over dumb fonts, or stupid chocolate fountains? Or to have to deal with her texting me links to her ever-changing _Pinterest_ boards every fifteen minutes?’

Alex had to agree – that shit was overbearing for anyone at the best of times. ‘I’m sorry, I should’ve thought--.’

‘Don’t apologise,’ Maggie said firmly. ‘This is not your fault and, had it been a papercut rather than a gunshot, I would’ve said _yes_.’

‘You would have?’

Maggie nodded. ‘Absolutely.’

‘After everything that happened?’

Again, Maggie was certain in her reply. ‘Yes.’

And Alex couldn’t quite believe it. ‘Just like that?’

‘I’m confused. If you thought I was going to say _no_ , then why the hell did you propose?’

‘I….’ Alex didn’t really know; in hindsight, she wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting, she had just wanted to propose, to take that first step in making Maggie her wife.

‘See? You _do_ rush into things without thinking. You can’t deny it now.’

 _Damn she really did_. ‘You’re right.’

‘I told you.’ The smug smile on Maggie’s face only lasted for a few seconds, before it softened as she reached for the ring that Alex was still holding between her fingers. ‘You kept them?’

‘Yeah.’ The thought of attempting to return or pawn them was embarrassing enough, and that’d be before having to declare that one of the rings had her initials engraved inside. Alex didn’t want some store employee’s pity, she’d felt sorry enough for herself as it was. ‘Didn’t think I’d get the chance to use them again.’

‘The world works in weird ways, Alex,’ Maggie said as she fiddled with the clasp of her necklace – the one that she’d bought Alex but had now, apparently, claimed as her own. She slid the ring onto the chain before securing it around her neck. ‘You don’t have to ask again. When I’m ready to marry you, I’ll put it back on. Until then, I’ll carry it with me, close to my heart at all times.’ She nestled into Alex’s side. ‘We’ll get married one day, I promise. Just wait a little bit for me, alright?’

*** *** ***

Two weeks of sterile environments, incessant humming from various items of machinery and, even despite having a so-called _private room_ , a complete lack of privacy…it felt so damn good to finally be about to leave this place, and Alex had excitedly spent the night before packing everything up, so that they could leave as early as possible in the morning. Come nine a.m., after final approval from the doctor, Alex had her hand out for her girl to take. ‘Shall we go home?’

The answer was unexpected, and brought Alex’s excitement to a grinding halt. ‘Where we’re going isn’t my home.’

Amidst the joy of escaping this place, Alex had forgotten that the safehouse they were being placed in, was just as foreign to Maggie as this room in the medbay was. She chided herself for being so ignorant. ‘Sweetheart, when this all blows over, once Lillian’s gone and Cadmus is no longer a threat, we’ll get a home, a _real home_ with a yard and--.’

Maggie stopped her before she brought up the pup they both so longed to adopt. ‘I don’t need any of that. My home,’ she poked Alex’s chest with a finger. ‘Is right here. It’s not some safehouse, or apartment or whatever. _Home_ is you, Alex Danvers. And as long as I have you, I’m right where I’m supposed to be.’

Alex found those words begin to choke her. ‘Likewise, Maggie. Likewise.’

‘Good,’ Maggie said with a kiss. ‘But we will one day need a place for our doggy. What are safehouses’ views on pets?’ She asked, jokingly.

Alex replied seriously. ‘They’re allowed, and if you want one, we can get one.’

Maggie laughed. ‘Okay but Alex…again, with the rushing in?’

‘Not at all. I’ve _always_ wanted a dog. Thirty-odd years is hardly rushing in.’

‘Fair point,’ Maggie said with a nod. ‘Maybe we can look into it soon.’

*** *** ***

The safehouse was a five minute drive from the DEO.

Alex pulled into the underground carpark, found a parking spot and killed the engine.

‘All these cars look…expensive,’ Maggie mused, taking in the variety of SUVs and sportscars that, frankly, made Alex’s thirty thousand dollar, and six-month-old, ride look as if it belonged on a scrapheap.

‘Rent ain’t cheap either – be grateful you don’t have to pay it,’ Alex said before jumping out the car, and quickly scrambling to the passenger side to grab the door. Maggie could walk unaided for some distance now, but she was still in some pain. ‘I’ve got you,’ Alex wrapped an arm around Maggie’s waist the second she was on two feet, to steady her. ‘You good?’

‘All good. I think I can manage on my own. Or, at least, I wanna try to.’

‘Alright,’ Alex smiled, and they made the short trip over to the elevator.

‘So if we’re not paying rent, then who is?’

The doors pinged open, and they stepped inside. Alex hit the button for the ground floor. ‘Nobody, really. The agency buys these sort of properties, uses one apartment for a safehouse and recoups the money through renting out the rest. Besides us, everyone else here thinks they’re paying rent to a typical landlord – not the government.’ They walked out into the foyer, Maggie keeping a slow, but steady pace at Alex’s side.

‘That’s smart.’

‘It gets smarter,’ Alex grinned as walked over to a door labelled _Maintenance_ , typing in a code on the keypad. The lock unclicked. ‘Follow me.’

There was another door a few metres down the corridor. This one required a thumbprint to open, and they were greeted on the other side by a polite, and muscular Texan. ‘Ma’am.’

Alex made the introduction. ‘This is Agent Robertson; he works security here. And, also, maintenance if any of the other residents needs something fixed but mainly, he – and the rest of the security team – can be found in the office, just up there on the left.’

‘Nice to meet you, Ma’am,’ he said to Maggie, with a kind smile and a firm handshake.

‘Call me Maggie.’

‘ _Maggie_ it is.’

‘And you can call her Alex – the _Deputy Director Danvers_ nonsense inflates her ego too much for my liking’

Agent Robertson let out a nervous laugh. ‘Will do.’ Though they all knew that he had no intention of doing so, far too scared of his superior to even try to refer to her so casually.

Finally, they got to the apartment door itself which was a lot less high-tech, with just a simple key needed to unlock it. It was a heavy door though, with a reinforced lock so, if someone did manage to bypass the three stages of security beforehand, they’d have trouble getting into the apartment itself.

The apartment was small, but it was cosy. Alex gave a quick tour of the place, all set to give a detailed run-through of the safety measures in place before Maggie tugged at the hem of her shirt. ‘Can we do this later, babe? I know we barely travelled to get here, but I’m kinda exhausted and would rather spend the rest of the day in bed. If that’s okay?’

‘Don’t be silly, of course it is.’ An idea flashed across Alex’s mind, and she couldn’t help herself, scooping Maggie up in her arms. ‘Bed, we shall go.’

*** *** ***

After Maggie had a quick nap, they spent the rest of the day watching shitty movies and gorging on junk food, until Maggie fell back asleep around nine. The second Alex heard that usual soft snoring, she crept out of bed, and jumped into the shower to freshen up for tomorrow, the day she’d been dreading.

Maggie’s funeral.

Most people there would know who she was, and most people were going to hate her for it. She would forever be known as _the ex_ …. _the heartbreaker_ …. _the bitch_. And the worst part of it all was that those labels were all true – she’d ended the engagement, breaking Maggie’s heart and in a cold and callous manner that still haunted her to this day.

 _‘I want you_.’ Maggie had said so sadly and so desperately on that day, her hands clasped tight together as she had pleaded for Alex to reconsider.

But Alex hadn’t, and instead had brushed those words off with an _‘I know, babe_ ’ before adding the ugly conclusion that rendered Maggie, yet again, as not good enough– _‘but I want kids_.’

Alex would always hate herself for it, _always_.

She quickly towelled herself off, before slipping on a flannel shirt and a pair of boxers and returning to bed.

Maggie was awake, sat up waiting for her to emerge from the ensuite. ‘Those glasses are sexy as fuck.’

‘I’m aware, you’ve said that a lot since you found out about my deteriorating eyesight.’

‘And yet you – Big Bad Agent Danvers - still blush. Funny that.’

‘Yeah, well,’ Alex scoffed as she climbed back into bed. ‘You just have that effect on me, happy?’

‘Perfectly so.’ Maggie’s fingers danced up the line of buttons on Alex’s shirt, before dancing back down, making light work of each and every one. She stopped halfway, just to make sure. ‘Is this okay?’

Alex answered by dealing with the remaining buttons herself, and letting the item of clothing slip off her shoulders.

Maggie placed gentle kisses up Alex’s sternum, before resting her head on Alex’s chest. Her eyelids fluttered shut. ‘Your heartbeat,’ she whispered. ‘It makes me feel safe.’

‘Do you feel unsafe here?’ Alex asked.

‘I…did when you were in the shower. I woke up and you were gone, I--.’

‘That was my fault, I shouldn’t have snuck off like that.’

‘No, it’s fine. I’m just being silly--.’

‘You are absolutely not,’ Alex said firmly. ‘And I never want you to think that. After what happened to you, it’s totally normal to sometimes feel that way but I want you to know that whatever you’re feeling? You don’t have to go through it alone. I’m here for you, however _silly_ you think something is.’

Maggie’s hold around Alex’s waist tightened. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you more.’

‘Impossible.’

Alex smirked. ‘Try me.’

*** *** ***

The funeral was at midday.

As arranged, Winn came by a little before they set off with his _PS4_. He was fiddling with the wires, connecting it to the TV when Alex crouched by him. ‘What games did you bring?’

‘ _Madden_ and _NBA_.’

‘Good,’ Alex nodded.

‘There’s other games online if we get bored too. I’ve still got a little left on that gift card you gave me.’

She rested a hand on his shoulder. ‘Do me a favour, and make sure that you stick to the sporting theme? Maggie is,’ Alex looked around, to check Maggie was still out-of-earshot, ‘A little fragile…avoid guns at all costs.’

‘I will,’ he said, his features saddening slightly. ‘So she’s not doing okay?’

‘Given all that’s happened to her, I think she’s doing better than most people would,’ Alex replied. ‘I don’t think it will, but if anything does happen, call me and I’ll come as quickly as I can.’

‘Noted.’

Alex pressed a kiss to his temple. ‘You’re the best.’

*** *** ***

As expected, her arrival turned heads and prompted some not so subtle whispers.

‘You have more right than most people to be here,’ Kara reassured as they walked towards the church. ‘Ignore them.’

If only Alex could ignore the looks of contempt, or the angry Kevin Grisham who’d spotted her, and made his way over. ‘You shouldn’t be here,’ he said loudly, before running his eyes over Kara. ‘Is that your new girl? Did you bring her along so that you can hammer the final nail in Maggie’s coffin together?’

Kara ignored her earlier advice, and moved to put herself between him and Alex. ‘I’m her _sister_ and I do not appreciate you talking to her like that.’

‘Oh,’ Grisham laughed. ‘I’m sorry. I forgot that Big Bad Federal Agent Danvers is too much of a fucking pussy to speak for herself.’

Seeing the Girl of Steel’s knuckles start to whiten, Alex tugged at Kara’s arm. ‘Let’s get inside.’

‘Like I said – _fucking pussy_.’

Kara took a step closer, getting right in his face. ‘You know that Maggie didn’t actually like you, right? At best, she tolerated you which, honestly, is quite some achievement because I’ve not even known you a minute and, already, you’re one of the biggest assholes that I’ve ever met.’

This wasn’t going to end well. ‘Kara--.’

‘Nuh-uh. Not finished.’

‘Yeah, c’mon Agent Danvers. Let blondie finish, it’s cute.’

‘ _Cute_?’ Kara frowned. ‘I’ll show you _cute_ \--.’

Alex pulled her away and in the direction of the chapel before any sort of demonstration. ‘Assaulting a cop whilst being surrounded by cops isn’t going to go down particularly well.’

‘I wasn’t going to assault him.’

‘Then what _were_ you going to do?’

‘Walk away from him menacingly, fly over to his house in the middle of the night and set his car on fire with my heat vision.’

‘ _Oh_ …any chance you could still do that?’

Kara nodded. ‘I’m planning on it, don’t worry.’

*** *** ***

They sat in one of the back rows, not wanting to attract any more attention.

It was a long ceremony with a number of speakers, all cops except this one girl who couldn’t have been any older than twenty. She took to the lectern with a little girl, no more than three, holding onto her hand. ‘My name is Jodie…and Maggie Sawyer didn’t just save my life but she also became my little girl’s best friend.’

And Alex listened, tears in her eyes, to the young women’s story of how, after being kicked out of her home by her parents last year, she turned up to the LGBTQ+ support group that Maggie helped run every Wednesday evening. Her daughter, Sophie, was unplanned, the result of a relationship Jodie had entered, trying to convince her prejudiced parents that she was straight – they threw her out, aged seventeen, after finding out that wasn’t the case.

Maggie hadn’t just offered advice, or support.

No.

Maggie had offered Jodie and Sophie a home, letting the two of them stay with her, rent free, until Jodie got back on her feet; all whilst bonding with the infant and becoming, as Jodie kept repeating, little Sophie’s ‘best friend’.

Once the ceremony had come to a close, Alex made a beeline for the young mother. ‘Excuse me, Jodie?’ Alex offered out her hand. ‘Hi, I’m Alex.’

Jodie’s eyes went wide with recognition. ‘Alex _Danvers_?’

Alex’s chest tightened as she, public enemy number one at this funeral, braced herself for a fresh wave of abuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? xo


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in uploading...but there'll also be another chapter up this week to compensate!

Instead of abuse, Jodie Meyers greeted Alex with a warm smile, a hug and an invitation of coffee that was keenly accepted.

There was a _McDonald’s_ nearby, so they went there. The grown-ups ordered cookies to go with their coffees, whilst Sophie – whom Alex learned was actually four years old – had milk and a _Happy Meal_. The little girl was quiet, content to draw whilst her mom spoke with Alex.

‘I still can’t believe that she’s gone.’

Alex hated having to lie. She was fully complicit in it all, yes, but with Jodie, she decided to avoid direct lies, instead embellishing the truth to fit with the narrative that she had no choice but to go for. ‘It’s weird. It’s the reality of the job, but it never feels real unless something happens, unless you get that phone call.’

‘I wish I had gotten a call,’ Jodie said, sadly. ‘We found out when we went to the group. It…it was hard having to find out so publicly…to have to explain to Sophie so publicly why mommy was crying, to have to explain why she’d never see her friend again.’

The thought broke Alex’s heart. ‘When did you last see her?’

‘About a couple of months ago. She’d been really busy with work, so wasn’t able to come to our weekly meetings. Last time I heard from her, was about a month ago – she apologised for being so busy, and told me to give Sophie a big hug from her. Ever since the news I…I make sure that hug’s extra tight.’

Alex really fucking hated this lie. ‘How long had you known her?’

‘Eight months,’ Jodie replied. ‘It was a couple of days before Thanksgiving. I figured that was why she offered us a place to stay, because it was that time of year…I quickly realized that it wasn’t that; that it was because she’d been there before with asshole parents and, also…also, because she was lonely.’

Even despite spending that holiday, and all the other holidays, with her friends and family, without Maggie, Alex had felt exactly the same. She nodded in understanding.

‘She was very accommodating, insisting that Sophie and I took her bed, whilst she slept on the couch. I initially refused, ‘cause that was crazy you know? But she wouldn’t have it any other way.’

‘Maggie is – _was_ – stubborn.’

‘Could say,’ Jodie smiled. ‘She ordered us pizza that first evening and, the second that Sophie was in bed, she opened up. Usually I’d have thought that was weird – I’m a complete stranger and, not only had she let me and my kid move in with her, but she’s telling me all about her heartbreak. But it wasn’t weird. It seemed cathartic to her, like she’d been keeping it in so long.’

Eight months ago…that’d been roughly a year since they’d broke up.

‘I don’t think she had many people to talk to about it, or at least to talk that openly. We stayed with her for about three months, until I finally got a job and an apartment, but in all that time, I never met any of her friends. Can’t really recall her mentioning any either.’

‘She kept in contact with my sister, and kinda in contact with another one of our shared friends but that was pretty much it, I think,’ Alex explained. ‘So…she told you everything?’

‘ _Everything_ is hard to say. She did tell me a lot, and it all seemed like the truth.’

‘Including why we broke up?’

Jodie nodded. ‘Yes, although that was a few days later. After seeing how great she was with Sophie, I asked her if she wanted to have kids and she just…broke down.’

_Fuck_.

‘She then told me that was why you two broke up.’

‘Believe me,’ Alex swallowed hard, forcing down emotions that were bubbling up. ‘That wasn’t my finest decision.’

Jodie offered a sympathetic smile. ‘I know I don’t really know you, Alex, but I know that you meant the absolute world to Maggie, so I want to be completely honest with you, and tell you everything.’

‘Then tell me. Please?’

The young mother took a deep breath, then went for it. ‘Maggie also told me that, whilst she’d never seen herself as a mom, spending time with Sophie had changed things.’

_Oh_.

‘I know that you should never ask people things like that ‘cause, you know, not everybody can have children, but she was so good with my kid…it just slipped out.’

The revelation that a part of Alex had longed to hear, was a revelation that cut like a knife. ‘She should’ve called me.’

‘She wanted to – she _really_ wanted to – but ultimately decided against it, scared that you wouldn’t have believed her if she turned up, and said she’d had a change of heart.’

‘I would have believed her.’

‘I said that too, if she had explained things. Hell, I had even told her that she could take Sophie with her, but she was adamant that it’d make her look desperate…and she _was_ desperate. I know I didn’t know her for long, but I know that she wasn’t happy, that she was constantly missing a part of herself.’

A feeling that Alex knew all too well. The topic was getting to her, her eyes starting to sting, so she didn’t wish to dwell on it too much longer. ‘Thanks for telling me that. It’s…nice to know.’ It wouldn’t have been if that funeral had been legit, and Alex had another _what if_ scenario to haunt her for the rest of her life. As horrible as it sounded, that bullet had been the best thing that had happened to her. ‘Hey sweetie,’ she said softly to Sophie. ‘What did you get with your _Happy Meal_?’ They’d been sat chatting for fifteen minutes, and Alex was yet to see what toy had been inside of the box.

‘A kitty,’ Sophie replied, uninterested. ‘I don’t want it.’

‘Why not?’ Alex reached into the box, and pulled out the little white plushie that was still in unopened packaging.

‘I wanted the puppy.’

‘The puppy,’ Alex repeated as she got to her feet. ‘I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.’

A few polite words with one of the cashiers later, and the plushie was switched, much to the little girl’s delight. ‘Thank you!’

Manners were something that Maggie was fond of, so it came as no surprise that the two of them had apparently bonded so well. ‘You’re welcome, sweet--.’ Alex was cut off by the drawing that had been meticulously crafted, being slid her way. ‘Is this for me?’

Sophie nodded. ‘You’re Maggie’s friend, and I want you to be my friend too.’

Alex exchanged a look with Jodie, before smiling at Sophie. ‘Good, because I wanna be your friend as well.’

*** *** ***

They exchanged numbers before they parted, with Jodie using the opportunity to send Alex a few candid photos of Maggie with Sophie, and with a promise to keep in touch. It would be hard, to have to continue to lie to the two of them, but Alex was intent on keeping good on that promise. Maybe one day, she hoped, Maggie would be able to reconnect with them.

Laughter greeted her as she came home. Maggie’s laughter, to be more specific, as Winn sat on the floor, pouting. ‘That’s not even a word.’

‘It’s in the dictionary. It _is_ a word.’

‘Debatable.’

Alex came over to look at the _Scrabble_ board. ‘If that word is _badder_ then I hate to break it to you, buddy, but that _is_ a word.’

‘Seriously?’

‘You have _Google_ on your phone. Look it up if you don’t believe me.’

‘Oh, I will,’ Winn huffed.

Alex leaned over and pressed a kiss to Maggie’s forehead. ‘You got bored of kicking his ass in the virtual world, I see.’

‘There’s a stack of old board games in a cupboard so, being the wonderful friend that I am, I thought we’d switch things up to give him the chance at winning something…not my fault he sucks at everything.’

Winn sighed, admitting defeat. ‘You’re right.’

‘I always am,’ Alex grinned, before cupping Maggie’s face with both hands. ‘How have you been? Okay?’

‘Still sore but it’s manageable, and the painkillers are helping,’ Maggie forced a smile. ‘How did my funeral go? And, by that, I mean that I want the names of anyone who didn’t look particularly upset so that I can prank call them from the supposed afterlife.’

Alex laughed. ‘It’s okay, I think Kara will be dealing with one of them tonight.’

‘Who?’

‘Your friend, Kevin Grisham, who else?’

‘I’m shocked,’ Maggie deadpanned. ‘Did she punch him? Please say she punched him.’

‘You know my sister’s a pacifist. No, she’s just setting his car on fire tonight.’

‘I don’t know the guy but I’d pay great money to see that,’ Winn remarked.

‘And I,’ Alex took her seat beside Maggie on the couch. ‘Would pay great money to see my gorgeous girlfriend embarrass you at _Scrabble_. Fortunately, that perk is free.’

*** *** ***

After Winn left – his tail firmly between his legs, after repeated defeats at _Scrabble_ – they had dinner. Last night’s pizza had been a treat, and now Maggie had to return to the harsh reality of a strict, healthy diet to allow her body to heal.

Wanting to be as supportive as possible, Alex had keenly agreed to eat the same meals in solidarity. Though, looking at the first meal of many healthy meals to come, her enthusiasm had already waned.

And Maggie knew it. ‘You don’t have to eat that, you know.’

‘No, it’s okay, I want to.’ Alex did really want to; it was just…far from her usual diet, to say the least. ‘I love…leaves.’ There was just so much green.

‘I’m the one that needs to watch what they eat, not you.’ Maggie rested a hand on Alex’s thigh. ‘There’s leftover pizza from last night. Have that instead.’

That’d be quitting, and Alex Danvers did not quit. ‘It’s fine, babe. Really.’ She shovelled the first, of what would no doubt be a never-ending amount of forkfuls of salad into her mouth. ‘I met someone today. Two people actually.’

‘Who?’

‘Jodie.’

The name was met with a blank expression. ‘Jodie?’

‘And Sophie.’

Maggie shook her head. ‘I’m sorry, are those names meant to mean something to me?’

They should, given the pictures that Alex had been shown of the three of them. Yet, it was understandable. It was probably too soon to even allude to the topic of kids, never mind bring up the young mother and child that had, apparently, changed Maggie’s mind. So Alex decided to drop it for now. That was something that they could – and would, because communication was important – talk about later, when Maggie was ready. ‘Maybe I was mistaken.’ She moved to quickly change the subject. ‘Is that…broccoli?’

‘Alex, I told you. There’s pizza in the fridge.’

‘No, it’s not that,’ Alex said as she picked through the salad. ‘I thought you hated broccoli.’

‘Oh…tastebuds change, I guess?’

‘That drastically? You left a whole salad at that vegan place near my apartment, because there was broccoli _tainting_ everything.’ Alex remembered that day, solely because it was her first time in a vegan restaurant and she’d smugly finished her lunch, whilst Maggie hadn’t.

‘I guess. They gave me a transfusion, right? Another person’s blood…maybe another person’s palate too?’

Alex decided to test that theory. ‘Thoughts on pineapple on pizza?’

‘An abomination.’

Alex laughed. ‘Well if you do have another person’s palate, then they’re just as wrong as you.’

*** *** ***

Her views towards mornings had changed once Maggie had come into her life.

Mornings had become something to look forward to, especially if they woke a little before their respective alarms – no matter how tired they were, they always found the energy for a quickie before work. And, of course, snuggles and kisses, and just simply basking in each other’s natural warmth was also pretty damn special.

The past eighteen months of waking up to an empty bed had been harder than Alex could ever have imagined. She hated dwelling in it, or in the apartment in general, so found herself getting to work most days exceptionally early. J’onn had quickly caught on to this and started arriving earlier too, to keep her company.

Truth be told, Alex wasn’t quite sure how she would have coped without having the amazing support system that she had. J’onn, Kara, Winn, James, her mom and even Lena, whom she still didn’t know all that much, all reached out in subtle little ways, and Alex appreciated that – they never made her feel like the burden that she knew she was.

Thankfully, she didn’t need that support system anymore. All she needed, was the beautiful woman that was back in her bed, and back in her arms.

‘Good morning, gorgeous,’ Alex whispered as she felt Maggie start to stir.

Maggie mumbled contently.

‘You sleep okay?’

‘Yes…I forgot how cuddly you are. It’s nice.’

‘Then maybe you should let me be the big spoon more often.’ Though, secretly, Alex loved it when her tiny girl was the big spoon, which was almost always. They’d no doubt return to that dynamic when Maggie had properly recovered. Until then, Alex was more than happy to spoon Maggie, intent on making sure she felt as safe and as loved as humanly possible. Hence why she sighed, as her phone began to ring and she twisted around to grab it. ‘Crap…it’s work. Should I answer?

‘It’s your phone, and your work – _you_ decide.’

Alex stared at the device. ‘If it’s important, then Kara will call.’

‘Then let it ring out. See what happens.’

It rung out. Five seconds later, it started ringing again. Alex sat up to answer. ‘Yeah?’

‘I’m aware that you may be a little occupied--.’

‘That’s one way of putting it,’ Alex smiled at the beautiful woman who lay beside her.

‘Okay, no more details or whatever – wait, isn’t it too soon for that? Anyways, moving on. The DEO has a definite lead on Lillian Luthor.’

The sleep that lingered in Alex’s system immediately dissipated. ‘ _Definite_?’

‘Definite. Cadmus has a cargo ship docked up at Westport and she’s onboard.’

Alex scrambled out of bed. ‘I’m coming.’

‘Alright, there goes my next question. We have a tight timeframe, so I’ll come and pick you up within the next couple of minutes.’

‘I’ll see you then,’ Alex said before hanging up.

‘What’s happening?’

‘We’re on the cusp of getting Lillian; of getting justice for you.’

‘For real?’

‘For real,’ Alex confirmed. ‘She’s at the docks.’

‘At the risk of sounding like a complete Debbie Downer…are you sure it’s not a trap? The docks are a public place, and she’s there?’

‘Anything with her could be a trap,’ Alex countered as she fastened her belt, eyes scanning the room for where she’d left her boots.

‘You could get hurt.’

The boots were by the closet. ‘I know, baby,’ Alex nodded. ‘But that’s the risk I take every single day with this job. And besides…she hurt _you_ , Maggie. I refuse to let her get away with that.’

‘Is she there right now?’

‘Yes, and my sister is coming to pick me up.’ Her sister’s timing was, as always, impeccable, as there was a knock at the door. ‘And that will be her.’ Alex grabbed the first jacket her hands landed on, pulled it on and rushed over to Maggie, so that she had a few extra seconds to spare kissing her. ‘I’m gonna get her for you, I promise.’

Maggie caught her arm as she pulled back. ‘Just…be careful? Please?’

‘I will, I promise,’ Alex smiled. ‘I’ve got a lot to live for after all.’

*** *** ***

They stormed the ship; any Cadmus scum that tried stopping them were swiftly dealt with.

Alex found what she was looking for in the wheelhouse. ‘This ends now, Luthor.’

The Cadmus mastermind seemed unfazed by the M4 trained on her heart. ‘Is that so?

‘You’re in my crosshairs and you’ve pissed me off…yeah, I do think so.’

‘If that was the case then you’d have already pulled the trigger.’

‘I’m being nice and offering you the chance to come peacefully. It’s a limited time offer.’

Lillian smirked. ‘Cute, but that’s not how it’s going to work, Agent Danvers. You’re going to let me walk.’

‘Not a chance, not after what you’ve done to Maggie.’

‘I caught that nosy bitch snooping around my business, what was I supposed to do? Let her try and take me down? C’mon now, be serious.’

The urge to pull the trigger and end it all now, permanently, was growing stronger with every word.

‘You know that I couldn’t let her do that. Maggie’s smarter than most cops, and smarter than most of the knuckleheads that work for the government. She was a threat, so I had to act and make her an asset.’

‘An asset? Since when do dead people have uses?’

‘We both know that Maggie isn’t dead. And I know _exactly_ where she is.’

Reacting would be a mistake. Alex had to keep her gun steady and her voice measured and impassive. ‘And where is that exactly?’

‘Well…it’s not the afterlife like you’re pretending it is. Nor is it the fancy safehouse you’ve put her up in.’

Though, as her heart hammered in a tightening chest, it was getting so fucking hard not to react. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘Didn’t it all ever seem a little convenient to you? The girl of your dreams – the love of your life, whose heart you cruelly crushed before kicking her out – taking you back, just like that? After all you did to her, she never--.’

‘Mind games won’t work on me.’

‘They are not mind games, they’re facts,’ Lillian said. ‘And for a critical thinker such as yourself, you don’t seem to be understanding what I am saying. Do you need me to spell it out for you? And tell you that the necklace you were given for you birthday a month or so ago, has a tracking device in it, enabling us to keep tabs on you? Do you understand yet, Alex?’

A part of Alex now did, but an even bigger part of her refused to believe to believe it. Yet Lillian was right…things had moved so quickly with Maggie after the shooting, that it had seemed too good to be true. Plus Jodie hadn’t heard from Maggie in a while, and Maggie…Maggie had willingly ate broccoli last night. It made sense. ‘What have you done to her?’

‘Now we’re getting somewhere,’ Lillian smiled. ‘The Maggie you’ve spent the past few weeks with, isn’t Maggie. The real Maggie is currently being held in a secure facility, the location of which I currently have on my person. You can have it if you decide to take me in, or kill me.’

If there ever was an incentive to pull a trigger--.

‘But if you do that, then you will _never_ find your father.’

_Of course Lillian Luthor had a fucking failsafe. She never made things easy._

‘But if you let me walk, then we’d have to kill Maggie since she’d no longer be of any use.’ Lillian’s calmness about the situation was chilling. ‘It’s up to you. Your brown eyed girl, or daddy dearest. I’ll let you decide who’s more important.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot twist.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the lovely feedback on the last chapter...y'all liked that plot twist, i see ;)
> 
> just to add a TRIGGER WARNING here because there's a very slight and brief allusion to rape in this chapter - i just want to give a heads up to be safe.

Shooting Lillian was never an option.

As much as Alex longed to kill her, that wasn’t what Lillian deserved – she deserved to suffer for the rest of her life, not get the quick and easy way out. Instead, Alex smacked her with the butt of her rifle, knocking her to the ground and creating a deep wound on her temple. ‘You’re going to regret ever messing with me, and my family.’

Another hit and the Cadmus mastermind was unconscious. Alex searched her, finding a cardkey and a folded up piece of paper that contained coordinates, inside an inner jacket pocket. It could be an elaborate trap, yes, but it wasn’t like she had any other options right now.

‘Winn,’ she spoke into her earpiece. ‘I need you to run a set of coordinates, and mobilise a strike team there, stat.’

*** *** ***

It turned out the location was at the docks, a mere three-minute sprint away, in a rusty yet secure warehouse.

Kara kicked the door down.

The interior was a far cry from the exterior: clean, modern and clinical. It was some sort of science facility, with lab coat wearing brainaics that were shocked to see an armed tactical team storm the place. Alex grabbed the nearest one by the throat, and forced him against a wall. ‘Where is Maggie Sawyer?’

One brainiac dared to reach for a weapon, and was promptly taken out by Supergirl.

Alex didn’t appreciate the silence. ‘One more time,’ her grip tightened. ‘Where is Maggie Sawyer?’

He chose to live, agreeing to lead the way with the muzzle of Alex’s M4 pressed against his back.

The facility was chillingly custom built, a fancy elevator located at the end of a pristine corridor. Alex shook her head. ‘Nuh-uh. Stairs.’

They double backed on themselves to get to the staircase, and went down two flights before coming to a stop. ‘She’s along there.’

Alex shoved him out of the way. Nausea rose as she walked down the cold corridor. To her right was a tiled wall, and to her left were cells, made of glass instead of bars. Each little room was empty, except for the last.

And there she was. Sat on the concrete ground, one hand cuffed to a pipe high up on the wall, the petite detective had never looked tinier. Her face was streaked with blood, as was her grey t-shirt and her wrist where the metal cuff cut into skin. Her eyes squinted open as Alex banged on the glass. ‘ _Maggie_.’

Maggie looked in her direction but seemed…out of it.

Alex shoved her rifle into her sister’s hands before fumbling for the cardkey. The second it took for the door to click open was the longest of her life.

She rushed over and dropped to her knees. ‘Hey,’ Alex said softly to the woman she loved with every fibre of her being. She wanted to reach out and caress Maggie’s cheeks but ultimately knew that she couldn’t, painfully aware of how she had lost the right to do so. ‘We’re going to get you out of here.’ Brown eyes met her own, but they seemed lost in the place that they used to call _home._ ‘Maggie, are you with me?’

A weak nod.

‘Good.’ Alex hoped her smile would reassure, and enable the woman whose heart she once broke, to trust her once more.

If it did, then Maggie didn’t let on.

There were a million and one things that Alex wanted to say, but now wasn’t the right time. ‘Kara,’ Alex nodded to the cuffs. ‘Can you--.’

‘Of course.’ Kara snapped the metal links with her fingers, and the arm that had been restrained fell like a deadweight. Maggie toppled over onto her side, clutching the limb as she cried out in pain.

Alex cursed herself for not anticipating that. ‘I’m sorry, so sorry,’ she whispered as she crawled over. ‘Kara, I need a medkit, a stretcher and for you to get everyone out of here – the last thing she needs are spectators.’

‘On it.’

Her hands hovered over Maggie’s battered body, too scared to touch. ‘We’re going to take you back to the DEO, okay? Get you fixed up.’

No response, only whimpers.

She had to get a grip and do something. Above everything else, that was what she was trained to do and, given Maggie’s state, what she absolutely had to do. ‘Let me take a look at your arm--.’

Maggie recoiled at Alex’s touch. ‘No!’

Alex immediately backed off.

And Kara, who had just returned, immediately jumped in to comfort. ‘Hey, talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong, and we’ll do our best to help you.’

‘It…it hurts.’

 _Of course it did_. Yet Alex had been self-centred enough to think that the tormented cry had been all about her. She grabbed the medkit and crawled back over. ‘What hurts?’

Her question was met with cries, that were muffled by the concrete and the way the sobs racked her body only made things worse. Alex didn’t really have a choice in what she had to do.

*** *** ***

A light sedative had been the kindest option, and it had knocked Maggie out for the duration of the trip back to the DEO. She came to just as an IV was being inserted into the crook of her elbow, and winced.

Alex offered a sympathetic smile. ‘No matter how gentle you try to be, they always seem to sting a little.’

Maggie hummed in affirmation.

It was a mere sound, but it was more than Alex had gotten earlier. It was a start, though things could – understandably – reach a very quick end. ‘Are you okay with me treating you? I can get someone else if you aren’t.’ The DEO was hardly short-staffed and, given their personal history, it wasn’t ethical for Alex to be treating her either. It was entirely up to Maggie.

‘It’s not like you haven’t seen it all before, anyways.’

Alex wished that made it easier, but it didn’t. Far from it.

Checking Maggie’s pupils with her penlight had only reminded her of how quickly she had fallen in love with this girl, and of all the moments she’d spend staring into those gorgeous eyes, picturing the most beautiful future together.

Listening to Maggie’s heart reminded her of how, during those restless nights that followed nearly drowning to death, she would rest her head on Maggie’s chest, and let the steady beat lull her off to sleep.

And examining Maggie’s body---.

\-- reminded her of absolutely nothing, because she could barely recognise it, as it was littered with bruises; the spectrum of different colours creating a scattered timeline of assaults. Alex’s gentle feel of the ribs made Maggie double over in pain, more or less collapsing into Alex’s arms. ‘Easy, I’ve got you.’ _What had they done to her?  No, the real question was: what hadn’t they done to her?_ Carefully, Alex helped her lay back down. ‘I’ll get you some X-Rays and a MRI, and get you on some stronger meds.’

‘It’s bad…isn’t it?’

‘It’s not great, but you’re still with us so that’s something.’

Maggie gave a small smile.

‘You have a concussion; your ribs are definitely bruised, some I’m suspecting are broken too; and your shoulder is dislocated--.’

‘Told you - it’s bad.’

Alex reached for Maggie’s arm, intent on getting a better look at where the cuffs had sliced skin, but her eyes ended up falling on her hands. The knuckles were bruised, some grazed whilst others were swollen and there was dried blood on almost every finger – she had put up a fight. ‘Can you clench your fists?’ Maggie did, albeit with great difficulty, and Alex added another injury to a growing list. ‘Likely fractured knuckles, too.’

‘The fun never stops.’

Alex forced a smile. ‘I’m going to go and arrange your tests, and see about getting you some better drugs. Sit tight.’

*** *** ***

It hadn’t been hard choosing. Alex had long resigned herself to the fact that her father was gone. She had grieved for him, and she had come to accept that she’d never see him again. Maggie, on the other hand…that was the exact opposite.

In the days and weeks and months that followed their parting, Alex’s heart would hammer every time her phone buzzed, or anytime the DEO was called to a crime scene. The possibility was real; Maggie was still alive, and living in the same city – every time Alex saw even the slightest trace of the NCPD, she was on high alert, desperately seeking out that ridiculously oversized windbreaker. She had Maggie’s address, yes, but turning up at her door would have been an imposition, and there’d been the very real chance that Maggie might have company so Alex didn’t dare to go, as it wasn’t fair and she didn’t want to risking hurting her own heart any more.

If her father was still out there, he’d understand. He’d always wanted her to be happy, and Maggie had made her so incredibly happy, so it was the right decision.

‘Alex.’ J’onn caught her as she headed to the locker room to change out of clothes that were now stained with her ex-fiancée’s blood. ‘How is she?’

‘Lucky to be alive, in all honesty. She’s not that talkative but, given the circumstances, that’s hardly surprising,’ Alex replied. ‘She’s had X-Rays and a MRI, and is resting right now.’

‘She’s tough.’

‘She is,’ Alex agreed. ‘What’s happening? Is Luthor talking?’

‘No, nor do I expect her to anytime soon. However, she’s not the problem right now,’ J’onn said. ‘The problem is that there’s a clone of Maggie currently on the loose.’

‘She got out of the safehouse?’

‘Alex, she killed the agent that was assigned to protect her, with her bare hands.’

‘That’s... _fuck_.’ Agent Robertson was twenty-six years old, and newly married. ‘Do we have any clue where she went?’

‘None at all, though we’re guessing that she’ll be after you and anyone associated with you. Agents are en-route to your mother’s house as we speak, and will be bringing her to the DEO for protection. Likewise, you are not to leave this building for the foreseeable.’

‘That’s understandable. Thank you.’

J’onn patted her shoulder as he walked off. ‘Stay safe.’

This day was getting worse by the second.

It wasn’t even midday yet, and she’d already lost count of how many times she had changed her clothes thanks, in part, to the DEO’s introduction of a battle suit, that had replaced her old tactical gear. The suit was made out of reinforced material and was ideal for the field, but impractical for anything else. She’d quickly changed into her streets when they’d brought Maggie back to the DEO, and was now changing into her gym wear, the only other clothes she had left in her locker. She had just pulled on her sweatpants when her phone started to ring, and a familiar name flashed on the caller ID.

 _Maggie_.

Alex answered without hesitation.

‘Hey babe--.’

‘Screw you,’ Alex snarled.

The imposter on the other end laughed. ‘That’s exactly what you would’ve done, had you not found out. You would have been so desperate to get back with the love of your life, that you would have fucked a clone. That’s kinda pathetic.’

‘I’m going to kill you.’

‘Are you, Alex? Are you really going to be able to look at an exact replica of your darling Maggie, and be able to pull the trigger?’

Alex’s knuckles whitened.

‘I know a lot of things about you, Alex. Part of the cloning process involved the replication of memories… _intimate_ memories. I know where you went for your first date; I know where you exchanged _I love yous_ for the first time; and I even know, exactly, where you like to be touched.’

‘I hate you.’

‘No, you don’t. You _love_ me…I’m Maggie, after all. And I might be your _only_ chance of being with her.’

The truth was a kick in the gut. Tears filled her eyes.

‘I have things to do, so I need to go. But I’ll see you around, Danvers.’

And that parting line was the suckerpunch. She covered her mouth to stifle the sob, but it was too late. It had been heard.

‘Alex?’

Alex wiped at her eyes, and put on a brave face as she turned to her sister. ‘Yeah?’

‘Are you okay?’

‘There’s an evil clone of the love of my life about to cause havoc all over the city, who also knows pretty much everything there is to know about me, including my sex life…I could be better.’ _That was putting it lightly_. ‘What’s happening?’

‘Maggie’s awake.’

‘I thought she was resting. Is she okay?’

‘She was, and she is…she just really wants to talk to you.’

‘To _me_?’

Her sister nodded in confirmation.

‘Okay I…I’ll be there in a minute.’

*** *** ***

Her eyes were still red from crying – something that her glasses only highlighted - but she wasn’t ashamed, nor embarrassed. It would have been impossible for them not to be, for her to plaster a smile on her face and walk into the room and act like nothing was wrong, so she didn’t even attempt it.

After changing, she headed straight to the medbay, stopping only briefly when a technician caught her on the way to hand her Maggie’s test results. She was skimming through them as she entered Maggie’s room.

It could have been the drugs, but Maggie seemed a little chattier. ‘Please tell me those glasses aren’t part of some crappy disguise like your sister’s.’

Alex looked up, grateful that her ex-fiancée was a lovable sarcastic asshole that could always manage to make her smile. ‘No disguise; just crappy eyesight.’

‘Oh…well, good. I like them. They’re cute.’

Colour rushed to Alex’s cheeks.

‘And that gear you were rocking earlier…that looked badass, is that new?’

‘New, and a necessity,’ Alex said. ‘J’onn insisted on it during the height of the Worldkiller situation.’

‘Reign,’ Maggie’s tone was sober. ‘Sam was lovely…I never saw that coming.’

‘Yeah, life sure blindsides you sometimes.’ The second those words came out of her mouth, she knew it was a poor choice of them. As if Maggie needed a reminder about the cruel twists and turns of life. Alex was quick to change the subject. ‘I got your results,’ she held up the folder.

‘And?’

‘On top of the concussion, you have three broken ribs and a labral tear in your shoulder that will need surgery.’

Maggie nodded. ‘Great…when will it happen?’

‘There’s no immediate timescale. The priority is allowing your body to rest first, and then we’ll think about surgery. It should, though, be within the week.’

Another nod, then: ‘It was surgery that started this whole mess. That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.’

Alex pulled a stool over, so she could sit bedside. ‘You had surgery?’

‘I didn’t, but I was meant to. Kinda…a root canal is a sort of surgery, right?’

‘I suppose?’

‘Anyways, the day they…took me, I had a dentist appointment. I was supposed to get my back tooth fixed--.’

‘They followed you there?’

‘They _took_ me there,’ Maggie corrected. ‘It seemed like a normal appointment, until they gave me the local anaesthetic. I was too out of it to suspect a damn thing and then I…’ She paused for a second, a troubled look flashing across her features. ‘I woke strapped to this table…there was men – doctors or scientists, I don’t know exactly what they were – all around me, poking and prodding--.’

‘They didn’t… _touch you_ , did they?’ It was a horror story as it was, but the mere thought of her being violated in _that way_ made Alex sick beyond belief, and she would kill anyone even remotely associated with such an act with her bare hands.

‘No,’ Maggie said, prompting a flood of relief to wash over Alex. ‘At least not to my knowledge, and that never seemed like their intention either. All I know for sure is that they were taking my blood, sticking god knows how many needles in me and, weirdly, measuring me up…I don’t know how long it lasted, maybe a couple of days? Then I woke up in that cell, where you found me, and that’s where they kept me. They wanted me alive, so fed me but they were also quick to beat me if I tried anything.’ As evidenced by the bruises, clearly. ‘They…they never told me what they were doing, or why, but I know, just knew, that it was Cadmus.’

Alex nodded. ‘It was them, yes.’

‘Figured. But…why?’

And then came one of the weirdest sentences that Alex had ever uttered. ‘Because they cloned you.’

Maggie’s eyes went wide. Then she laughed, in disbelief. ‘What?’ Who could blame her? The very notion was crazy, even with today’s technology.

‘Everything they did to you, was to create another version of you. And they did.’ Cadmus had done it, successfully creating a fully living replica of Maggie Sawyer, that had tricked everyone – a replica that, had Cadmus not slipped up with that cargo ship, Alex would have made love with, and would have surely married and, happily, would have spent the rest of her life with. ‘And she’s out there, somewhere, right now.’

The disbelief was setting in, deeper and deeper. ‘I…okay. But why?’

‘To get to me,’ Alex answered. ‘Because they know that I...that I still love you.’

The words hung heavy in the air; Maggie managed to hold Alex’s gaze for a couple of seconds before looking away. That was it. She didn’t say anything in response, nor had there been either a sliver of reaction on her face.

Alex swallowed hard, forcing her feelings down before she burst into tears. ‘And it would have worked, if we hadn’t got a lead on Lillian. They kept you alive because you were meant to be her failsafe.’

Maggie was still not making eye contact, her eyes fixed on her bandaged hands. ‘What went wrong?’

‘She…’ _Thought I’d choose my father over you._ She willed herself to say those words, to let Maggie know just how much she loved her. But she was scared, _terrified_ of her feelings, again, going seemingly unreciprocated. ‘She underestimated me.’

‘Well…that was a dumb idea.’

Alex let out a shaky laugh. ‘Right? When…when was that dentist appointment by the way?’

‘June 1st.’

 _Fuck_.

‘What date is it now?’

‘July 28th.’ They had her for two whole months.

Fortunately, Maggie seemed to be taking it in her stride, joking. ‘Well shit…I’ve got a lot of TV to catch up on.’

Alex smiled. ‘And a lot of sleep too. You do need to rest, okay?’

Maggie pouted but followed doctor’s orders, nestling back into her pillow. ‘Fine.’

‘How’s your pain, right now?’

‘Manageable,’ Maggie replied. ‘You know what hurts the most, though?’

 _Her heart?_ Alex wouldn’t blame her for saying that. ‘What?’

‘That goddamn fucking tooth.’

‘We have a dentist on-call, I can call them if you want?’

Maggie shook her head. ‘Later. I should probably get some sleep, like you said.’

‘Okay,’ Alex slid off the seat. ‘I’ll check in on you from time to time but, if there’s anything urgent, use the call button.’

‘Will do.’

Alex was at the door when Maggie called after her.

‘Alex?’

Alex’s heart fluttered. _Stay, please say stay_. ‘Yeah?’

‘Thank you. I appreciate this.’

She smiled back. ‘Anytime.’

 _Anytime_. That was a lie.

Alex’s defences crumbled as soon as she was back in the locker room, as she swung a fist at her locker door. _Anytime_ was a lie. If Maggie didn’t want her _like that_ then Alex couldn’t do this. The adage, as cliched as it was, was also painfully true – _you could never just be friends with someone you’ve fallen in love with_ …it just hurt too damn much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get on board the Angst Express, folks!


	11. Chapter 11

Restricted to the DEO for the foreseeable, and at his insistence, Alex took up residence in J’onn’s office.

‘You look like you need this.’

Alex looked up, expecting a glass of Scotch but was met with a mug of hot chocolate, complete with little marshmallows. She smiled. ‘Thank you.’

He sat beside her. ‘Your work today won’t go unnoticed. I’ll be making a call in the morning to the White House, so you can receive the appropriate commendation.’

‘I was just doing my job,’ Alex shrugged.

‘You brought Lillian Luthor to justice. If every agent could do something as noteworthy as that, then the world would literally be a better place. And that’s before we take into account the personal circumstances that you were presented with. You,’ J’onn rested a hand on her shoulder, ‘Deserve every damn medal for today, not to mention what you’ve done overall for this agency. You are very much the heart of this organization.’

‘Okay… _now_ I think you’re overhyping me a little.’

‘Your track record states otherwise,’ J’onn said.  

Again, it was just her job – she’d be disappointed in herself if her track record was anything other than stellar. ‘How’s my mom doing? I’m guessing annoyed at the disruption.’

‘Very much so,’ J’onn laughed. They’d changed plans, and were now housing Eliza Danvers at an agency black site, rather than at the DEO. Alex didn’t even know that particular site existed until just hours ago, so it seemed a safe bet that a murderous Cadmus engineered clone wouldn’t either. ‘Let’s just say the agents who picked her up, have learned how unappreciative she is when her routine is disrupted.’

‘Those poor bastards.’

‘Indeed.’ J’onn wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and pulled her in for a hug. ‘You did good today, Alex. Get some sleep, and we’ll figure out our next steps in the morning.’

Alex nodded and smiled as J’onn left. She finished off her drink before retreating under fleecy blankets. She was exhausted, but the many thoughts that raced through her mind made slumber difficult. It took her a good hour to fall asleep, only to be interrupted a few hours later by an unknown number calling her cell.

She answered, only because it had woken her. ‘Yeah?’

‘Do you want to know the exact moment that I knew I loved you?’

Alex immediately sat up.

It was Maggie. Not _her_ Maggie, but _that_ Maggie…the Cadmus created clone. ‘It was very early on in our relationship. It actually caught me by surprise, and scared me too, because I had never felt something that strong before. We were on a date at the bowling alley. I had made a passing comment about how cute the stuffed little penguin in the claw machine was and you, bless your heart, you were so determined to get it for me.’

Alex remembered that evening well.

‘You spent _ages_ and, I don’t even want to know how much money, to win it. You dedicated so much time and effort into getting something so small and trivial for me, I just…I knew that you truly were special. _Extraordinary_. A woman that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.’

How tightly Maggie had hugged her the second that penguin had dropped into the chute made sense now. ‘You are going to regret this.’

‘Why? Don’t you want to know how much Maggie loves you? And how much you hurt her?’

Alex would be lying if she answered _no_ to either of those questions. ‘I--.’

‘Wait, I woke you up, didn’t I? My apologies, I’ll let you get back to sleep. Talk to you later.’

Sleep was the last thing she was now getting.

*** *** ***

She spent the rest of the wee hours combing through documents found at the facility. Their cloning project was called _Vita_ – Latin for _life_ – and, whilst there were photographs of Maggie, she had been referred to anonymously throughout, only called _Primus_ – _one_ , in the ancient language.

The details were harrowing. From measurements to blood type to in-depth details of what they did to her to create her double, it was tough to read. If Alex had any inclination to go back to sleep, then she would have had nightmares.

On June 1st they took her; by June 4th, her body was no longer needed. Four days…it had taken just four days to create a fully living and sentient being.

There were also incident reports that detailed the many times that Maggie had tried to fight back, even despite the overwhelming odds. Feisty as always, the one-woman army had broken a Cadmus goon’s nose, something that Alex would have taken some satisfaction from, if it hadn’t been for the repercussions for such actions, the traces of which were still visible on Maggie’s body.

Nine A.M. came, and Alex went to check in on Maggie, knocking first. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Still like I’ve been hit with a truck.’

‘Do you want your meds upped?’

Maggie was resilient. ‘Nah, it’s alright. Painkillers aren’t the sort of thing that you want to get reliant on and, besides…pain is good, means I’m still alive.’

The sort of thoughts that must’ve ran through Maggie’s head in that cell. Alex didn’t want to dwell on it. ‘An orthopaedic surgeon will be here shortly to assess your shoulder. In the meantime, I need to change your dressings, if that’s okay?’

‘Absolutely.’

It was more awkward than yesterday. Maggie was lucid, and those bandages? Those bandages were on hands that Alex used to call home. They were responsible for some of Alex’s best memories and no, not just for _that reason_ …those hands were indeed magical, and so loving, in private but, in all honesty? Alex preferred the public memories she had of them. Like when they held hands on their first date down by the waterfront; or when they had ice-cream in the park, and Maggie laughed as she wiped the chocolate sauce from Alex’s face; or when they were in the bar and some drunk guy started hitting on Alex, before Maggie scared him off by taking Alex’s face with both hands and kissed her until they were both breathless. Those were the sort of memories that Alex would always cherish.

‘All done,’ Alex said as she stuck the last piece of tape down.

‘Thank you.’

‘No problem,’ Alex smiled. ‘Do you want me to get you anything? Food? Drinks? Something to--.’ She was cut off by her phone. ‘Sorry,’ she mumbled as she went to pull it out of her pocket, intent on hitting ignore until she saw another strange number and her eyes went wide. ‘I…uh.’ They were using burner cells, clearly. ‘It’s nothing.’

‘Judging by your face, it doesn’t look like _nothing_. Answer it, I’m not going anywhere.’

It was against her better judgement, but she left to go, sprinting off to an empty exam room to take the call in privacy. ‘Listen, you’re messing with the wrong--.’

‘Do you remember when we broke up?’

As if Alex would _ever_ forget.

‘I lied when I told you that I was staying with a friend. I stayed in a hotel because I didn’t want to be a burden, and I sure as hell didn’t want to tell anyone that Alex – _my Amazing Alex_ – had broken my heart.

 _My Amazing Alex_ …one of many pet names that were only ever uttered in private because, whilst they weren’t shy about showing public affection, they liked to have some things shared only between themselves. That nickname was one of them.

‘Luckily, I never had to tell anyone, because they all noticed that my ring was gone, and so was the picture of us on my desk because looking at it hurt so goddamn much.’

Alex could relate.

‘I stayed in the hallway for a few minutes after we said our goodbyes...I heard you sob on the other side of the door. I thought…maybe, just, maybe, you would change your mind and coming running after me.’

The thought had crossed Alex’s mind.

‘When my parents disowned me, I thought that was it, that nothing would ever hurt more than that did…I was wrong. To be rejected by you? That was so, so much worse.’

‘Stop,’ Alex whispered.

‘I cried myself to sleep for weeks. I dreamt about you every night--.’

Alex said it with more force this time. ‘ _Stop_.’

‘I begged to Gods that I don’t even believe in that you would change your mind, would come back and hold me again in your arms--.’

‘I swear to fucking god, _STOP_.’

The clone laughed. ‘Why? Does the truth hurt?’

_So, so much…_

‘Nothing is stopping you from hanging up, Alex. But no, you’re not going to do that, are you? You _want_ to hear this, ‘cause a part of you has always wondered just how much you hurt me, hasn’t it?’

Alex couldn’t deny it.

‘You know what? I _will_ stop. Not because you asked me to, but because I have things to do. I’ll call you soon though, with some _very_ important instructions and, if I were you, I would follow them to the letter. So yeah…talk to you soon – love you, _cuddlebug_.’

*** *** ***

There was no way that Alex could face Maggie after that call.

Alex wasn’t naïve, she had always known that she had broken Maggie’s heart but hearing it, and discovering just how much hurt she caused? That…that was something else, entirely, and she knew that she didn’t even deserve to be in the same building as Maggie, let alone the same room. So she kept her distance, signing Maggie over to another doctor – citing ethical reasons – and retreated to the archives, the quietest place within the DEO, so that she could be what she deserved to be – alone.

Though, it wasn’t for long. After a couple of hours, Kara came looking and found her. ‘I know exactly what you are doing, and I am _not_ standing for it.’

‘Standing for what?’

‘This pity party, and the way that you’ve completely disregarded her.’

‘By treating her, I was breaching so many ethics and rules. If Pam found out, she’d have a field day.’

‘Alex, you know what I mean,’ Kara said, sitting down beside her on the dusty floor, glancing briefly at the old science journal Alex had been busying herself with. ‘Talk to me. What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing’s wrong.’

‘Really? Because you’re hiding away here, and acting like Maggie Sawyer is a stranger to you.’

‘And how am I supposed to act? Like we’re dating? ‘Cause, newsflash, we’re not anymore.’ Alex sighed, wondering when acknowledging it out loud wouldn’t hurt.

‘No, no. You’re acting like it was some nasty break-up, and I know for a fact that it wasn’t,’ Kara countered. ‘Look, I’m certainly no relationship expert but I do know that it’s not an easy situation. It’s awkward, I get that. But you were weird with her yesterday, and even more so today by offloading her onto another doctor. _I’ve_ spent more time with her than you have, and I was with her all last night when she was crying.’

‘Maggie…Maggie was crying?’

‘She was abducted, turned into some sick experiment, and repeatedly beaten – you’re surprised?’

‘No, I…’ _At herself_. She was surprised at _herself_ , at how self-centred she was becoming. ‘Fuck, I’m an idiot.’

Kara rested a hand on Alex’s arm. ‘No, something’s bothering you, so tell me. Don’t start bottling things up, that never ends well for anybody.’

So Alex went for it. ‘Being with her…but not _being with her_ , it…it hurts so much. And it wasn’t a problem with that thing, that clone, because they were always meant to take me back, but her? The real Maggie? She, I…I don’t know if she’ll ever want me back. Not after how much I hurt her.’

‘They took her at the start of June, right?’

Alex nodded. ‘June 1st, yes.’

‘Which means that the Maggie I’d been meeting up with in private, for well over a year, is still the same one that thinks the absolute world of you, and very much wishes that she could still be with you.’

If only it was that easy. ‘That Maggie, the real Maggie… _Our Maggie_ …she wants kids, Kara.’

The announcement seemed to take Kara by surprise, obviously a detail that was never shared in their secret meetings. ‘She does? How…how long has she wanted them?’

‘You remember Jodie, the girl at the funeral who I went to go get coffee with?’

Her sister nodded.

‘She told me that, after spending time with her daughter, Maggie had changed her mind about children.’

‘Oh…that’s good, though. Right?’

Alex shook her head. ‘Not really. I can’t just go into her room and force her to admit that she wants kids, that’s not right.’ Not even in the slightest. ‘Maggie taught me that people need to come to terms with things on their own terms, to say their own truths themselves first. And I know her…she only does things when she’s ready. But what if…what if she’s never ready? I mean, look how much she’s been through the past few months, the past few _years_ …that’s a lot of stuff that she needs to work through, before she she’s ready for a _relationship_ , never mind a family.’

Kara tenderly rubbed Alex’s arm. ‘Listen…you are my sister and I love you, but that? That is one of the most selfish things that I have _ever_ heard.’

Well, at least Alex was right – she was indeed being self-centred.

‘I get it – it’s not like it was with the clone. The real Maggie is distant and cold, but it’s because she’s hurting, Alex. Yet all you seem to be thinking about is yourself. A relationship isn’t a one-way street – if you want to have a chance of being with her, then you have to help her. Help her--.’

Alex finished the sentiment for her. ‘ _Heal._ ’ Alex had to help her heal, just as she promised to do all those years back. ‘You are absolutely right.’

*** *** ***

She took twenty minutes for lunch, and to try to muster up the courage to attempt to have a _real_ conversation with Maggie. Alex had to see her as a friend, rather than the woman whom she so desperately wanted to marry. Her sister was right – if she didn’t even try to be friends, nothing more between them would ever transpire.

A warm smile greeted her. ‘Hey,’ Maggie said, letting the magazine she was reading drop onto her lap. She eyed the paper bag that Alex had brought along. ‘Is that for me?’

‘Yes. From your favourite vegan bakery,’ Alex handed her the bag of doughnuts. ‘I sent Supergirl on a special mission to get them. And yeah, I am totally aware that they’re not the best choice for someone who needs a root canal, but I won’t say anything if you don’t.’

Maggie grinned. ‘Don’t worry, I ain’t a snitch. My gratitude to you, and your sister.’ She wasted no time in tearing into the bag, but offered first choice to Alex. ‘Have one, but don’t even think about trying the whole _ugh but they’re vegan_ crap…we both know you can’t tell the difference.’

‘Actually I can,’ Alex said taking one, as she took a seat bedside. ‘And I actually prefer them.’

‘I knew it.’ Maggie took a bite of hers, and moaned softly. ‘God…Cadmus never fed me this good.’

Alex was curious. ‘What did they give you?’

‘It varied. Salads, fast food, freshly prepared meals…I never had a say in the menu, but it wasn’t bad.’ She paused to take another bite. ‘I didn’t eat at first, as I didn’t trust them but it soon became apparent that I didn’t have a choice if I wanted to survive.’ She licked the sugar off her lips. ‘How have you been?’

Not quite sure how to answer that, Alex gave the typical, and crappy, answer. ‘Busy with work. Never a dull day in this city, as you know too well.’

‘Yeah, this city is quite something.’

At that, a heavy silence fell between them, neither knowing what to say. Alex had things she _wanted_ to say, but thought better of it, instead wishing that someone or something would break this uncomfortableness. Fortunately, she got her wish. They made eye contact and, both feeling the exact same and uncomfortable way, they ended up laughing.

It was Maggie who stated the obvious. ‘God, this is awkward as fuck.’

‘Just a little.’

‘Why should it be, though? Nothing bad happened between us and, whilst I can’t speak for you, I’m not harbouring any animosity. We can be friends.’

Knowing what she knew about Jodie and Sophie, Alex wondered how much that pained Maggie to have to resign herself to that – resign _them_ to that. ‘Yeah, of course we can.’ _Cause it hurt Alex like a motherfucker_.

‘Alright, good,’ Maggie nodded, as though she expected the suggestion of friendship to suddenly make conversation easy. It did not. ‘So…uh,’ she said after a few moments. ‘This clone…what were they like? I know you said that they fooled everyone, but I’m curious. Were they _exactly_ like me? Wasn’t there anything, in hindsight, that would give them away?’

‘Yes. Broccoli.’

‘ _Broccoli_?’

‘They willingly ate a salad with broccoli in it which I did think was weird at the time. Guess there’s only so much knowledge they can take in, and vegetable preference wasn’t overly important.’

‘Wow…well, it _is_ important because I’d rather starve than eat broccoli,’ Maggie chuckled. ‘Where are they now? Can I see them?’

 _About that…_ ‘No, they’re…kinda on the loose right now.’

‘Okay, that’s not great,’ Maggie grimaced. ‘Do you at least have any pictures of them?’

‘A few.’ Alex brought out her phone. The last pictures on her camera roll were of them because, as she always had with someone who looked like Maggie, Alex had found it necessary to take pictures of them doing the most mundane things, like playing _Scrabble_ with Winn. ‘Here.’

‘This is…insane,’ Maggie said, eyes wide as she slowly swiped through the pictures. ‘Like even the way they’re holding that glass is exactly how I’d do it.’

‘Weird, right?’

‘So weird. It makes you wonder if there’s clones around us, and we don’t even know it,’ Maggie continued swiping. ‘Man, it’s so--.’ She stopped all of a sudden, her eyes going wide.

Then Alex remembered.

Jodie and Sophie.

The pictures.

‘Alex, I…’ Maggie tailed off, a glint of sadness in her eyes as she looked at the pictures. Then an accusing tone. ‘How do you have these?’

Alex was honest, though decided to omit a certain bombshell that Jodie had dropped. ‘You know how I told you that we had to fake your death, and throw a funeral for you?’

‘Not a piece of information that slips your mind easily.’

‘Jodie turned up to the funeral, and we got to talking afterwards. We agreed to stay in touch, and she sent--.’ Her phone started ringing. Her heart started hammering.

Maggie offered the phone back. ‘Some random cellphone number.’ Her eyes narrowed, as Alex stared at the phone. ‘Not someone you want to speak to, huh?’

 _Far from it_. Alex begrudgingly took the phone and, without offering any explanation, left to take the call. ‘Alright, give me these _important instructions_ already, I’m tired of these games.’

‘I’m about to text you an address. You are going to come alone, and unarmed.’

‘You’re out of your damn mind.’

‘Failure to do so and your new friends will suffer the consequences,’ the clone warned.

‘My _new friends_?’

‘Like I said earlier – follow my instructions to the letter. Don’t be an idiot.’

‘What--.’ The call was disconnected. Alex was ready for the promised text…what she wasn’t ready for was the photo that immediately followed it.

The clone had Jodie and Sophie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ruh-roh...


	12. Chapter 12

Not knowing about the dislike for broccoli she could understand – like she had reasoned earlier, there was surely only so much information that could be transferred to another being, and something as trivial as vegetable preference probably wouldn’t make the cut. But not knowing about Jodie and Sophie, two people whom were both obviously very close to Maggie’s heart? Alex should’ve clicked, and she should have done something the second she found out that it was an imposter.

Yet she hadn’t, instead too wrapped up in her own feelings, and now they, a young mom and her four-year-old kid, were in danger.

Alex flinched at the hand on her shoulder.

‘Whoa, hey!’ Winn raised his hands defensively. ‘It’s just me…I was calling your name, didn’t you hear me?’ His expression quickly grew serious. ‘What’s wrong? Is it Maggie? Is she--.’

‘She’s fine,’ Alex said bluntly. ‘It’s…it’s everything else that isn’t.’ She sighed. ‘Things are bad, Winn. Things are really fucking bad.’

‘What’s bad?’ His voice was gentle and encouraging, and it made Alex scared. Scared…because he a damn good guy, and it was always the good guys (and girls) in her life that ended up getting hurt. ‘You can tell me…you know I won’t judge.’

She didn’t want to involve him, not wanting to put him in any further danger. However, she knew that there was no way that she could do this alone, physically or emotionally. Lives were at stake, she couldn’t be reckless this time. ‘That thing, the clone…it has hostages.’

‘Okay,’ Winn said slowly, trying his best to hide his worry. ‘That _is_ bad. Do we know who?’

‘Two of Maggie’s friends. A young mother and her little girl.’

His best wasn’t good enough, as his eyes went wide. ‘Really bad.’

Alex nodded. ‘I-I need to go tell J’onn about this. Could you go, uh, keep Maggie company? If she asks where I went just…just say something came up.’

*** *** ***

As always, J’onn was nothing but understanding.

He had every right to be mad that she’d kept those initial phone calls to herself, yet he wasn’t, instead listening attentively as she rambled. She may have kept the personal details of the calls vague but judging from the look on his face, he knew. Even if he wasn’t psychic, it wouldn’t be all that hard to guess why she was reluctant to share any more than she had to. ‘We’ll get them back, Alex. I prom--.’

He was cut off by a familiar voice. ‘What the hell is happening?’

Alex turned, finding a still very much in pain Maggie storming towards her, whilst an apologetic Winn wheeled an IV stand alongside her. ‘I’m sorry. She asked where you went and, you know me, I’m a terrible liar. This,’ he waved vaguely at the stand, ‘Was a compromise, because she would have ripped her IV out otherwise.’

‘You shouldn’t be out of bed,’ Alex said gently, instinctively reaching out to steady her ex-fiancee before she fell and hurt herself further.

‘I need to know what’s going on.’

‘And I will tell you,’ Alex guided her over to the nearest chair. ‘Look it has wheels, and Agent Schott is now under strict orders to push you where you want to go.’ With someone as stubborn as Maggie, compromises were commonplace.

That prompted a small smile. ‘Okay, that works…just please. Tell me what’s happening.’

There wasn’t any easy way to break it. ‘Jodie and Sophie have been abducted.’

A multitude of different emotions flashed across Maggie’s face, with worry, understandably, being the most prominent. ‘By…by who?’

Again, no simple way… ‘By your clone.’

It took a few seconds for the news to process. Then, ‘Oh…my fucking god.’

 _Pretty much_. ‘They took them to blackmail me into meeting with them.’

‘And are you going?’

‘It’s not like we have many other options.’

‘Alex no,’ Maggie said firmly. ‘No fucking way. That’s a suicide mission.’

‘If I don’t go--.’

‘Babe, _no_. You’re their number one target.’

 _Babe_. Maggie had said _babe_.

And it was apparently a slip of the tongue that went unnoticed. ‘From what I learned in the year or so that I was investigating Cadmus, you are _exactly_ who they want most. You’re Supergirl’s sister, and the deputy director of the DEO. You might never come back if you go and meet with that…thing.’

‘I…’ Alex was still reeling over that word, those four damn letters. She had to get it together. ‘If I don’t go, they could die.’

‘And if you go, then you could die.’

‘I signed up for this life, they didn’t.’

Maggie gripped Alex’s shoulder. ‘Listen – _nobody_ is going to die, do you understand? We’ll figure out something, we always do.’

It was like nothing had changed between them.

‘You’re Alex Danvers, and you never give into these bastards…just take a deep breath and a moment, to think this all through, okay? You’ve got this, and things are going to turn out okay.’ 

It wasn’t the deep breath that helped ease her nerves – it was Maggie’s unwavering faith that did the trick. ‘Luthor,’ Alex said. ‘I’ll start with Lillian Luthor.’

*** *** ***

Since taking her in, Alex had yet to see Lillian.

It was a decision that had been entirely Alex’s – and a necessary one, for Alex knew that she could very well kill her for all that she had done. The glass wall that now stood between them, was the only thing sparing Lillian’s life.

‘Agent Danvers,’ Lillian smiled. ‘To what do I owe this pleasure to?’

‘Project Vita. You’re going to tell me how to end it.’

Lillian stood from the bench she was sitting on, and came closer. ‘It’s life, Alex. The only way to end it, is to kill it.’

‘So you’re really trying to claim that Cadmus created something that can’t be controlled? Yeah, I’m not buying that for a second. You bastards always have a back-up plan.’

‘I never said that we didn’t.’ Lillian pressed her palm to the glass. ‘But do you really think that I will tell you what it is, when I’m in here?’

‘You aren’t ever getting out of here. You will _die_ in here,’ Alex warned. ‘So maybe you should make it just a little easier for yourself.’

Lillian shook her head. ‘I’ll pass, thanks.’ Earlier attempts to read Lillian’s mind had proved futile. If she wasn’t going to talk, then they were never going to get their answer…at least not from her.

Without another word, Alex left and found Maggie and Winn waiting by the elevator. ‘And now we go onto Plan B.’

‘I’m joining you,’ Maggie said.

‘What? No--.’

‘Please Alex,’ Maggie pleaded. ‘You are one of the best people at your job but, sometimes, two minds are better than one. And it’s not like we have many options right now, so we need to make the most of what we do have.’

They did make a _pretty good team_ after all. ‘Alright, but only if you’re sure that you’re up to it.’

*** *** ***

With no time to check Maggie over, Alex had to take her word for it, quickly removing the IV and finding a hoodie for her ex-fiancée to pull on over her tank top, before leading the way into the notoriously cold interrogation room.

The unlucky guy that was handcuffed to the table was one of the many scientists that they’d apprehended at the facility, and he looked at Maggie with horror.

‘Of course, you remember me.’ Maggie took the seat opposite. ‘How could you ever forget?’

‘I’m so sor--.’

Alex, who had opted to stand for convenience, didn’t let him finish. ‘My name is Agent Danvers. You don’t really know me and, for your sake, I really hope that we don’t have to spend too much time getting to know each other.’

‘It was a job, okay? A well-paying--.’

‘Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’m not interested in your shitty career choices,’ Alex said. ‘What I am interested in, is Project Vita. I’m going to ask you how to stop it, and you are going to answer me. Do you understand?’

The guy looked rightfully scared. ‘Please, I-I don’t know.’

‘Wrong answer.’ Alex slammed his face into the metal table, and pressed her forearm down on his back. ‘You were the lead scientist on the project, so you should know better than anyone. So…start talking and tell us – how do we stop it?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘This isn’t going to be _good cop, bad cop_ , buddy,’ Maggie remarked. ‘This is going to be like _neither of us are cops, so we can do whatever the hell we want to you_.’

To reinforce that point, Alex made his face meet the table with force again. ‘She speaks the truth, so I would listen to her, and start playing ball…otherwise, it’s going to get a whole lot worse for you.’

Maggie nodded. ‘That’s right. She has a temper and, believe me, she’s nowhere near pissed off yet.’

‘I’m just a scientist--’ he whimpered.

‘That worked for Cadmus,’ Maggie finished. ‘And you _cloned_ me – a human fucking being. Don’t act for a second like you don’t know anything. I can smell your bullshit from here.’

‘I was doing a job, _my_ job!’

Alex applied more pressure to her hold. ‘Yeah? And I’m doing mine, and trying to save a mother and her child from the hands of the thing that _you_ created. So, tell me now, how do I stop it?’

‘There’s…there’s no set way to stop it--.’

‘That child is four years old,’ Maggie said. ‘If she dies, then you’re accountable.’

‘I don’t know--.’

Maggie brought her battered fist down hard on the table. ‘A _child_ , you asshole. A sweet, innocent little kid could die if you don’t help us. So, even if you don’t know how to stop the monster that you created, you could at least give us some damn suggestions.’

‘I…’ He tailed off, apparently giving it some thought. ‘It’s human…it can think for itself.’

‘And?’

‘It…it might be able to be convinced? You know? Reason with it…make it an offer?’

Alex exchanged a look with Maggie, before relinquishing her hold. ‘That wasn’t difficult, was it?’

The scientist wheezed. ‘I’m not saying it’ll definitely work.’

‘Oh,’ Maggie said as she stood. ‘It better work, or we’ll be right back to pick up where we left off.’

*** *** ***

It was an hour after the phone call, and Alex was standing outside the address given – an old warehouse on the outskirts of the city. As instructed, she was about to enter alone and unarmed but she hadn’t come emptyhanded. In one hand she carried a briefcase and, just up from the other, she was wearing a watch that was fitted with a panic button that would send a whole swarm of agents within seconds – Kara wasn’t an option for this mission, as there was significant amounts of Kryptonite outside the building alone.

Alex took a deep breath before entering, unsure and, to be honest, terrified of what she may find.

Yet of all the scenarios that had ran through her head about what was awaiting her, she hadn’t expected what she found.

Though she should’ve expected it.

A red carpet...church pews…and lots of little bunches of cream peonies dotted all over the place. It was a recreation of their wedding day or, at least, what they had managed to plan of it before the break-up. And there ‘Maggie’ stood, waiting for her at the altar, just as they had agreed upon – Maggie hadn't been fussed about walking down the aisle, instead more than happy to wait for Alex to make her big arrival.

 _‘I’m gonna end up peeking, I know I will,’_ Maggie had said in bed one night, as they talked about what was going to be the best day of their lives. _‘I mean Alex Danvers in some beautiful dress, on her way to become my wife? I’m going to end up looking the second you step foot inside the church.’_

Just thinking about that conversation brought tears to Alex’s eyes. They had been _so_ happy, and they had this amazing future ahead of them…and Alex had thrown it all away.

‘You love to keep a girl waiting, don’t you?’

The amount of times Alex had pictured this moment…walking down the aisle, to join the most beautiful girl in the world…it was crazy, and probably far from healthy. The thought used to occasionally distract her at work, and she’d smile to herself as she played with her engagement ring. And here she was, some two years later, finally about to join Maggie at the altar.

_No._

That wasn’t Maggie.

Alex tried to force those words into her head, to remind herself that this was all one big and cruel game and, the fact that now had tears in her eyes meant that she was quickly losing. _That wasn’t Maggie_. It was just something that had the same big brown eyes, crater-like dimples and warm smile. It wasn’t the woman she had fallen in love with, because that woman was kind and, despite having had her heart crushed, would never do anything to hurt Alex, ever.

Maggie Sawyer had the biggest damn heart of them all.

‘The woman of my dreams…I’ll admit that ugly suit isn’t quite what I pictured you walking down the aisle in but hey…you still look absolutely gorgeous.’

Alex swallowed hard. ‘Where’s Jodie and Sophie?’

‘Where’s the minister?’ The clone countered, before hitting her forehead with the palm of her hand. ‘Oh wait, silly me. I forgot that I had to call him a few years back, and tell him not to bother. That wasn’t mortifying at all.’

It was…Alex had made similar calls to the florist and the caterer. ‘Look, I came here for Jodie and Sophie and I am willing to negotiate.’

‘You? Did that new battle suit, or whatever the hell it is, come with a personality transplant? ‘Cause you don’t negotiate. Don’t try and trick me.’

‘I’m not.’ Alex held up the briefcase. ‘Inside this is fifty thousand dollars in non-sequential bills, and a whole new identity, _a whole new life_. If you take it and leave and stay out of trouble, then the agency will never come after you. I don’t need to tell you that this isn’t an everyday offer.’

The clone’s eyes flicked to the briefcase, then back to Alex. ‘You know I was anxious at the thought of standing here, and saying my vows.’

_And so it started again._

‘You know me, I’m a private person but I was willing to bare my soul in front of everyone for you…I was more than happy to inevitably cry in front of everyone, that’s how much I love you. You…Alex Danvers, you brought me a sort of happiness that I _never_ thought was ever possible. I couldn’t wait to marry you, to take your last name…I was counting down the days to a day that ever happened, because you threw me out onto the street after lying to my face by telling me that everything was _okay_. That? That makes you worse than my parents because, yeah, they were assholes but at least they were honest with their feelings.’

‘I--.’ Alex’s voice was shaking like crazy, and she tried to shove those emotions that were bubbling up right back down. ‘I made a mistake, okay?’

The clone scoffed. ‘Of course, you say that _now_ …because you’re sad and you’re lonely and, well, you’re _pathetic_.’

Alex wished she could dispute that, but _sad_ , _lonely_ and _pathetic_ really did seem to sum up how she felt these days.

‘And you’re so self-centred that you think you’re the only one. I was sad and lonely too, but you didn’t care.’

‘I thought about calling.’ Every damn hour of every damn day.

‘Did you? No, you didn’t.’

‘I was scared to, alright?’

‘Why?’

‘I--.’ _No, stop. This was not Maggie…that thing didn’t deserve an explanation_. ‘Look, where is Jodie and Sophie?’

‘And there you go…bottling things up again. But hey, the fact that you don’t know how to deal with your own shit is _your_ problem,’ the clone shrugged. ‘Listen, if you want Jodie and Sophie then you’ve come to the wrong place.’

‘ _You_ told me to come _here_.’

‘That I did, Danvers. But there’s nobody named _Jodie_ or _Sophie_ here.’

‘I don’t fol--.’

A punch to the face knocked Alex onto her ass, and a kick to her gut kept her down. ‘There’s a locked office over to your right – there’s a woman and a kid in there.’ The clone popped open the briefcase, grabbed a couple of thousand before throwing the rest at Alex. ‘I know you have back-up waiting outside so I have to go now, and get a headstart. Next time do as I say, and come alone, alright? See you around, Danvers.’

*** *** ***

They took off, escaping down underground tunnels that weren’t on the buildings blueprints, before Alex could call for assistance. She was okay, a little bruised and winded but other than that, physically fine after the encounter – it was just her heart that was aching, a pain that only intensified as they rescued ‘Jodie’ and ‘Sophie’.

There was no point in calling ahead; Maggie was always going to find out, and there would never be an easy way to break it to her.

The inevitably of it all didn’t make it any easier though.

A part of Alex had longed to see this maternal side of Maggie, as Maggie rushed over to the little girl that had, in such a relatively short space of time, become dear to her. They’d been _best friends_ , and Maggie’s fondness was apparent as she came at the child with open arms, and a cute nickname. ‘Munchkin!’

The poor kid was scared by the overfamiliarity, burying her head in the leg of the agent that she’d been walking with.

‘Hey Soph,’ Maggie said gently, dropping to her knees. ‘It’s just me…Maggie.’

Alex hated hearing how increasingly desperate Maggie got.

‘C’mon Soph…’

And hated hearing how it slowly began to dawn on Maggie that something wasn’t quite right.

‘Sophie…what’s wrong? I know this place seems scary, but you know me…right?’ Maggie looked up at Alex with teary eyes. ‘What’s wrong with her? Why is she acting so weird?’

Despite how often it seemed to be happening, Alex would never get used to being the bearer of soul-crushing news. ‘Maggie…Sophie was a Cadmus plant.’

‘I…no...’

‘They brainwashed her, and Jodie, so they could get close to you.’ The abduction was months in the making, hence why it had been so damn smooth. ‘They weren’t real, and it seems as though they’ve been… _reset_ now…they won’t remember you.’

Maggie’s bottom lip quivered, as it always did when she was on the verge of tears. ‘So Sophie doesn’t…she doesn’t remember me?’

‘Her name isn’t even Sophie.’

Maggie gave a small nod, before pushing herself back up to her feet.

‘Hey,’ Alex said gently, but Maggie was already taking off. ‘Can you--.’

J’onn nodded. ‘I’ve got things under control. Go, make sure she’s okay.’

And Alex did, following her into the empty lab that she had retreated into. ‘Maggie.’

Maggie was leaning heavily on a countertop, and Alex kept her distance until she heard the first sob.

‘Maggie,’ Alex whispered, inching closer. ‘I’m so sorry, I know how much she meant to you.’ She was within touching distance now but was fearful to reach out to comfort, still not sure where the boundaries lay. ‘If you need someone to talk to--.’

‘Everyone leaves, Alex.’ Maggie’s voice was so small, so vulnerable. ‘Everyone…in some shape or form, they always end up leaving me. Sophie…my parents…and _you_ , the woman who I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with.’

And here came the conversation that Alex had been dreading...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? x


	13. Chapter 13

The conversation that she never wanted to have.

The conversation that she _needed_ to have, to have _any_ hope of ever putting things right between them.

Alex didn’t know how these things worked. Her relationship experience was limited and, for obvious reasons, she had never been in a relationship that she had wanted to save. Even though she must’ve played this situation out a few thousand times in her head, this was still all new to her. She waited for Maggie to say something, but it quickly became apparent that it was her turn to speak. _Where to even begin?_ ‘Maggie, I…I want you to know that I _never_ wanted to hurt you.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah. You…you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I would never willingly do anything that would cause you pain. You don’t deserve that...you deserve the world.’

A few moments passed, and Maggie finally turned to face Alex. ‘Then why did you lie to me?’

‘I--.’

Maggie wasn’t done. ‘You remember what I said earlier, about there being no animosity towards you? That wasn’t true, I lied.’

Alex’s heart sank.

‘That hurts doesn’t it? Being lied to by someone you love? That really fucking hurts, right?’ Maggie’s tone was sombre. ‘But I don’t hate _you_ , Alex. I could never hate you; you gave me the best years of my life…I just hate the way you acted towards me. About how, that day when my father left, when I told you that you were all that I needed, and you looked me in the eyes and you told me that you felt the same…I spent that evening _Googling_ cake toppers for our wedding cake; I was excitedly planning a small part of our very big future together and you…you sat, and you watched, and you didn’t say a damn word. That, Alex? That was one of the worst things anyone has ever done to me.’

The clone had been truthful after all; Alex really was up there with the asshole parents. And she deserved to be. ‘I…I don’t know what to say.’ She didn’t, truly.

Maggie knew though. ‘ _Sorry_ would be a good starting point. And then follow it with an explanation.’

‘I don’t think I’ll ever be able to say sorry enough,’ Alex said as her eyes began to sting. ‘I really don’t. I know that I was a complete idiot, and I know that I shouldn’t have lied.’

And Maggie was feeling it too, eyes darting away as her words began to wobble. ‘Then…why? Why lie, when you knew that lying would only make things worse?’

‘I wanted to save us.’

‘‘Cause lying sets a good precedent for marriage, right? What would you have done a couple of years down the line, when I didn’t give you what you wanted? Would you have stolen some kid from a stranger’s shopping cart? It’s not like you could have gotten lucky, and accidentally fall pregnant. We’re lesbians, Alex…did that never dawn on you when you lied to my face?’

‘I…I would have realized that I didn’t need kids to be happy. That’s what these past few years have taught me.’

‘Y-you’re just saying that.’

‘I’m not,’ Alex said firmly. ‘If you don’t believe me, then ask my sister who would stay over on the nights when I would drunkenly call her, and tell her how much I’d ruined my life. Ask J’onn who has had to put up with my sad, pathetic and lonely ass around here constantly, because I hate spending time in an empty apartment. Hell, ask _anyone_ who knows me about how insufferable I’ve been because I have, I absolutely have--.’

‘Alex--.’

‘I don’t know how to live without you, Maggie.’ A tear slid down Alex’s cheek. ‘With you, everything made perfect sense. Now I--.’ Alex shrugged. ‘I don’t even know how to live without you. I lost the best part of me when I…when I threw you away.’

Maggie swallowed hard, her gaze falling on the floor.

‘You know what I did a few weeks after I ended things?’

The answer was a very small, barely inaudible, ‘What?’

‘I had a one-night stand and, for a few seconds, I was happy because I woke up with an arm around my waist and, for those few seconds, I thought it was you.’ The realization that it was not, would forever haunt her. ‘I got drunk at a wedding, and I had sex with a stranger…I don’t do things like that, I’ve _never_ done anything like that before and it, it freaked me out. The first thing I did when I got back to this earth was go get tested, because I was terrified that I would get a disease.’ She hadn’t told anyone that before.

Maggie looked up, brow arched. ‘ _This earth_?’

‘Yeah, it happened on another Earth.’

‘She says nonchalantly.’ Maggie said, with the briefest of smiles.

That flicker of a smile also felt like a flicker of hope. ‘Well, it’s never a dull day, is it?’

A flicker that fizzled out after a few seconds. ‘How am I ever supposed to trust you again?’

Alex knew that she never deserved that trust anymore. ‘You’re not…but I hope, one day, that I will be able to earn your trust back, because I promise that I will never lie to you again.’

Maggie seemed to consider Alex’s words before she doubled over, clutching her ribs. ‘I should’ve stayed in bed.’

‘Are you in--.’

Maggie brushed Alex off. ‘It’s fine, alright? I’m going to go back and rest.’

‘Do you need help?’

‘I can manage,’ she said firmly as she walked past Alex and left, leaving Alex in the same state that she had been in since they broke up …alone, lost and with a heart that ached.

*** *** ***

After that conversation, Alex didn’t particularly want to talk to anyone and, instead, was more than content to do what she had been doing for the past year and a half – throw a pity party for one.

Yet, much like the past year and a half, her friends were very much there for her.

Winn knocked gently on the door to J’onn’s office, where Alex had retreated. ‘Hey…you want some company?’

Alex gave a small, sad nod. The tears had ceased, but her eyes were still red and puffy.

Winn didn’t sit down on the couch, instead opting to crouch in front of her. ‘Maggie, right?’

Another nod.

He forced a smile. ‘I know things aren’t perfect between you two right now, but I do know that she thinks the absolute world of you. And I firmly believe that if two people are meant to be together then they will…you just gotta be a little patient, gotta let things settle first.’

‘I know, I know, it’s just…it’s really hard.’

‘I get that,’ Winn said. ‘But anything worth having is never easy. Look at me. I waited years for a family, and was in and out of foster care…I only found that family when I eventually found you guys.’

And now Alex was on the brink of tears, again, for a whole other reason. ‘I…I don’t say this enough but I love you and I am so, so grateful to have you in my life.’

Winn’s smile was warm. ‘The feeling is mutual.’

‘Honestly, I don’t think I could have ever gotten through any of this without you guys, I just--.’

He pulled her into his arms, and hushed her. ‘You’re the strongest person I know. You’re stronger than Kara, and even more extraordinary.’

‘Even though I’m soaking your shirt?’ Alex mumbled into his shoulder.

‘ _Especially_ because you’re soaking my shirt.’ Winn gently pried her away, and wiped her cheeks with his thumb. ‘Listen, your sister is currently trying to turn that little girl into a _Supergirl_ groupie…why don’t you go join them, and show her that not all heroes wear capes or have their own merchandise line?’

*** *** ***

The DEO wasn’t exactly kid-friendly so the little girl – whom they discovered was actually called _Sophia_ – was taken to an empty office, where she was sprawled out on the floor, happily occupied with crayons and a _Supergirl_ colouring book.

‘Start them young, huh?’ Alex remarked to her sister, who was in full Supergirl regalia as she kept watch over the four-year-old.

‘At least _she’s_ appreciative of it.’

Alex frowned. ‘You gave me a colouring book of _yourself_ for _my_ thirty-second birthday--.’

‘It was the first one _ever_ printed! You should be honoured!’ Kara’s grin quickly faded, no doubt noticing the red, puffy eyes. ‘Maggie’s taking this hard, isn’t she? I can’t even begin to imagine how much of a shock this must have been for her.’

Alex’s silence as she sat down on the couch beside her sister spoke volumes.

‘Alex?’

‘We didn’t really talk about _them_ …we talked about _us_.’

‘Oh.’

‘She was mad, Kara, really mad. And I’m not naïve…I’ve _always_ known that I hurt her, but finding out just how badly? I--.’ Alex’s voice caught, and she had to take a few seconds to steady herself, not wanting to cry again. ‘I’m pretty sure that she won’t ever trust me again.’ And that was what hurt the most. Maggie Sawyer’s trust was sacred…and Alex had abused it. ‘And, honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she never wanted to see me again.’

‘I think you’re speaking a little too soon.’

‘I’m not,’ Alex said firmly. ‘You should have heard her--.’

‘And you should look up right now and _see her_.’

A sheepish looking Maggie was peering through the glass panel of the door, attention firmly fixed on the little girl who used to be her best friend.

Kara went over to let her in. ‘Hey.’

‘Hey, I…I just wanted to make sure that she is okay,’ Maggie said, before quickly clarifying. ‘Sophie, I mean. Or…or whatever her real name actually is.’

‘It’s _Sophia_ ,’ Kara said. ‘And she is. I imagine she was just overwhelmed earlier, as was her mom. She’s perfectly okay too; in fact, J’onn is currently sitting with her as we speak.’

‘That’s great news. _Really_ great, I’m glad to--.’ She was cut off as Kara grabbed her hand, and led her over to Sophia.

‘Hey sweetie, do you remember Maggie from earlier?’

The little girl looked up from her colouring book and gave a small nod.

Kara smiled. ‘Awesome! She’s my friend, and she was wondering if she could sit and colour with you? If that’s okay?’

It was _okay_ and, within five minutes, the two of them were collaborating on the same picture, the little girl giggling as Maggie suggested hot pink as an alternative colour for Supergirl’s hair, whilst Kara looked on in absolute horror at the suggestion. They looked like a little family, and Alex couldn’t help but picture that as _her_ little family – her beautiful wife, their cute kid and the ever-doting aunt. Throw in a puppy running about, and it was a scenario right out of her dreams.

Maggie was great with the kid, a real natural. She had this soft, kind voice and tapped into a kid-friendly vocabulary. ‘What about the doggy? What colour should we colour his little collar?’

‘Green!’

Some things were just meant to be, and Maggie Sawyer was meant to be a mother. If they hadn’t broken up, something would have happened to change her mind and that, that perfect scene of domesticity and cuteness in front of her, would have been Alex’s future.

Now Alex didn’t know what her life would look like once this had all blown over, once Maggie was no longer obligated to occupy the same building.

Her phone started to ring and she pounced on it, not even bothering to check if it was an unknown number because she knew that it was.

‘Hey babe--.’

‘Cut straight to it. Now.’ The anger in Alex’s voice made Maggie, for the first time since entering the room, look over in her direction.

‘Whoa, bossy,’ the clone laughed. ‘You know I always found that such a turn-on? As much as I’ve never been one for all that bondage stuff, I’d be lying if I said that I hadn’t considered it with you - some nights I’d even leave my cuffs by the bed to see if you’d suggest using them, to see if you would want to restrain me…out of curiosity, would you have been down for that?’

 _Without a shadow of a doubt,_ _yes_. Alex’s eyes flicked over to Maggie, who promptly averted her gaze. ‘If you don’t tell me exactly what it is that you want, then I’m hanging up and I’m _never_ answering again.’

Another laugh that only infuriated Alex even more. ‘Believe me, you are not in any position to try that, and I would strongly recommend that you follow my instructions this time.’

‘And they are?’

‘You are going to meet with me tomorrow at noon, at a location that I will disclose closer to the time. You will come alone; you will not have any back-up within a mile radius of said location; and, finally, you will peacefully hand both Lillian Luthor and yourself, over to me.’

 _As if_. ‘And if I don’t?’ They didn’t have hostages this time; they had nothing to blackmail Alex with.

Or so she thought. ‘Then I will reveal to the world who you, and your sister, really are.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the calm before the storm...
> 
> ...thoughts?x


	14. Chapter 14

The shit just kept raining down on her, didn’t it?

This was another thing that she should’ve expected but had, yet again, been too busy thinking about herself to realize just how much of a threat this thing was to everyone that she loved. Of course, an evil clone of Maggie would know that Kara was Supergirl and, of course, that said evil clone would use that information to blackmail. The ultimatum that had just been delivered had been inevitable.

And Kara had heard it.

Well not _heard_ – her little sister never used her superhearing to pry on conversations, unless it was necessary, but it was clear that she had gathered enough from Alex’s tone and demeanor to infer what the call had been about.

So had Maggie, who had glanced over with apparent concern on her features before returning her attention back to Sophia, no doubt wanting to distract the little girl from hearing about how scary this world could be. Well, it was either that or the fact that Maggie just didn’t care…even despite how much she had hurt her, Alex knew that almost certainly wasn’t the case.

‘Was that… _her_?’ Kara asked.

Alex nodded. ‘She – _it_ – wants me to hand over both Lillian Luthor, and myself.’

Again Maggie looked briefly in her direction.

‘They have to know that’s not going to happen, right? We don’t negotiate with terrorists, and I’m pretty sure that a Cadmus created clone falls firmly under the definition of _terrorist_.’

What Kara had said was, indeed, correct but this was extraordinary circumstances. ‘If I don’t comply then they will reveal your identity to the world and, believe me, they will. They’ve already taken great joy in dragging me through hell and back, so I’m sure they’d absolutely love ruining your life too. And that? That’s not happening; I refuse to let that happen.’ She was already haunted by the guilt of running Maggie’s life, she couldn’t let her sister suffer too. Alex got up, and left.

It took a few seconds for Kara to click, and to come running after her, finally catching up with her halfway down the corridor. ‘What exactly are you planning to do? Just hand yourself over?’

‘Pretty much.’

‘Alex--.’

‘ _Kara_ ,’ Alex said firmly. ‘This isn’t just about you and Supergirl – don’t get me wrong, your safety, as well as everyone else’s safety is the most important thing in this situation. But that clone…it knows things. A _lot_ of things, and I’m not just talking about secret identities or about my sexlife. It knows state secrets too, so I have no other choice but to try and take them down whilst I still have the freedom to do so.’

Her sister frowned. ‘Why do they know that?’

‘‘Cause I knew that I could trust Maggie with that sort of information, and I was right to do so because the real Maggie never told a soul.’ _Whereas Maggie had been wrong to trust Alex with her heart, let alone state secrets._ ‘It won’t exactly be hard to track down the trace of such information should they tell the world, so it needs to be stopped or my life really will be over.’

*** *** ***

They found J’onn in his office and told him about the major security breach they were potentially facing. Alex steadied herself for a reprimand that, again, didn’t come as J’onn was again incredibly understanding. ‘For the record, if the situation had ever arisen, I too would have shared such information with Maggie. She’s one of us, after all.’

‘I don’t think the President would quite see it that way, do you?’

J’onn forced a smile. ‘I know, I know…but we will stop that thing. I’ll go as Luthor.’

Alex shook her head. ‘Not a chance in hell.’

Now J’onn embraced his superiority. ‘Excuse me, _Agent_ Danvers?’

‘Not a chance in hell, _sir_ ,’ Alex corrected, before continuing. ‘They know that you’re a shapeshifter and they know Lillian. If just one little detail about your demeanour is off, then they’ll know – and, let’s face it, they’re probably anticipating such a move.’

‘She’s right,’ Kara said. ‘But Alex, you can’t go alone. You won’t come back.’

‘That’s a chance that I’m willing to take.’

Kara’s eyes went wide. ‘No.’

‘ _Yes_ ,’ Alex countered. ‘Look, it’s a sentient being so, theoretically, it should be able to be talked into a more peaceful solution.’

‘We tried that earlier, and it didn’t work.’

‘Really? Thanks for reminding me like I wasn’t there.’ _Shit, that wasn’t meant_. ‘I’m so sorry, that’s not fair, I--.’

‘It’s okay--.’

‘It’s _not okay_ …that thing is under my goddamn skin, and I just can’t--.’ _Breathe. Cope. Do goddamn anything_. Alex dropped onto the couch, and held her head in her hands. ‘This…needs to end. I’ll kill it if I have to, I just…I can’t deal with this any longer.’

J’onn rested a hand on her shoulder. ‘And that’s why we’ll do whatever it takes.’

*** *** ***

They spent the rest of the evening putting battle plans, as well as contingency plans, in place. The premise of the operation was simple – Alex would meet with the clone and, either try to talk the thing round or, if need be, find the opportune moment to take it down. Support would be provided via an earpiece and a gun strapped to her back, and a tactical team, that included J’onn – and Supergirl if the area was safe for her – would be as nearby as they could possible. But, other than that, she was on her own.

The thought of that absolutely fucking terrified her.

She struggled to sleep but, to be fair, that wasn’t new. She found herself wandering around the DEO at 1 a.m., where she bumped into her former fiancee by the vending machines on the third floor.

Maggie spotted her before she could run away. ‘Hey…weird question, since you’re clearly in your pyjamas but do you have any change? All I want is some damn _Skittles_ but this piece of crap ate my money.’ She turned and gave it a kick.

‘I don’t but,’ Alex went over and slipped the key that she was carrying into the lock of the machine. It clicked open. ‘Perks of being deputy director – you can open almost every lock in this building. I can’t remember the last time I put money in one of those things.’

‘Thank you,’ Maggie said as she grabbed her chosen packet of candy. ‘Kara told me about tomorrow…well, today.’

‘Yeah?’ Sometimes Alex forgot how close her ex and her sister were and, sometimes, Alex couldn’t help but feel incredibly jealous.

Maggie nodded. ‘Yeah, and I think what you’re doing is really brave – as always.’

Hearing that meant the absolute world.

‘Please stay safe, alright?’

Alex smiled. ‘I’ll try.’

‘No, you won’t _try_. You’ll be as safe as possible and you’ll beat that…that thing, do you understand?’

‘I do and I will.’

‘Good.’

The silence that fell between them told Alex it was time to walk away, so she did.

Maggie called after her. ‘Hey Alex?’

Alex’s heart leapt as she turned around. ‘Yeah?’

‘Any chance I could have a _Snickers_ too?’

*** *** ***

She only managed a few hours sleep but woke wide awake, too nervous to be tired. She’d jumped off buildings, tackled angry aliens and travelled through space, yet none of that had ever even remotely fazed her in the way that this showdown was.

‘We’ll be right on the edge of that mile radius,’ J’onn reassured. ‘The second you need help, use the safeword or the button on your watch, and we’ll be there as quickly as we can.’

‘Okay.’

‘You’ve got this,’ Kara smiled as she finished taping the hidden mic in place. ‘You’ve totally got this.’

Alex wished she shared her sister’s optimism.

‘And I’ll be in you at all times.’ Winn regretted his poor wording immediately. ‘In your ear, I mean. Nowhere else, that’d be very weird, I’m sorry.’

She was grateful for the light reprieve. ‘Super weird,’ she chuckled before giving him a hug. ‘But I’m glad that you’re the guy that’ll be in me.’

‘Please stop,’ he whispered as his cheeks burned.

Alex laughed before she scanned the DEO, her eyes hunting for a certain person that was nowhere to be seen. Her heart sank a little, though she was hardly surprised – Maggie didn’t owe her anything, after all. Still…it would’ve been nice to see her, even briefly, just in case everything went to shit.

They were meeting at another old warehouse by the docks. The place was massive and, according to records, had been empty for a few years so Alex braced herself for another elaborate set as she entered, hands raised. She found nothing, except an evil and twisted version of the love of her life. ‘I’m alone, I promise.’

An evil and twisted version of the love of her life that was holding a gun, and was not best pleased with that announcement. ‘You weren’t supposed to be alone. You were supposed to bring Lillian Luthor.’

If Alex could lie to the real Maggie then, she figured, that she could lie to this version too. ‘I would have but…Lillian’s dead. Some DEO agent wanted to play hero, and they shot her before she could have been peacefully apprehended.’

‘You’re lying.’

Alex shook her head. ‘I wish that I was. Lillian would have been of more use to us alive. We can’t do anything with a body.’

A few, long, seconds passed. Then, ‘Well then I guess that Agent saved me a bullet.’ The clone aimed its weapon at Alex. ‘Get on your knees.’

‘What?’

‘On your knees, and I’ll make it nice and quick.’

‘I…don’t understand?’

‘I’m going to put a bullet in your skull, and you will die – I don’t get what’s so confusing about that?’

‘Why?’

‘‘Cause I don’t particularly like you? ‘Cause I just wanna? A variety of reasons, I can’t choose just one.’ It nodded at the ground. ‘Knees. Now.’

‘No.’

‘Since when were you in any sort of position to give orders? You never even wore the metaphorical pants in your relationship – you were so goddamn whipped.’

Alex pushed that personal jab aside. ‘Explain to me, first, why you would want to kill me and Lillian. Then shoot me.’

‘Alright, it’s simple. Lillian brought me, a glorified monster, into this world; and you need to go, so that I can send a warning to the DEO that I’m not above killing, so that they leave me alone.’

‘That will not happen if you kill me…but we can come to an arrangement.’

‘What? Lock me up in a cell for the rest of my life? That’s no life.’

‘We can give you a new identity, like we were offering before.’

‘Maggie Sawyer is a public figure. If people know her face, then they’ll know my face. That won’t work.’

That was a fair point, but still… ‘Killing me won’t either.’

‘No, but it _will_ be fun. Now…knees.’

Alex was defiant. ‘I’m not doing that.’

The clone nodded. ‘Alright, fine. Whilst we’re standing, hanging about, why don’t have a little storytime?’

 _And so it started_.

‘What story do you want today, Alex? What about the time when you and Maggie first made love?’

Alex internally grimaced – the microphone she was wearing would relay that story back to the DEO, to her sister, to Winn and to J’onn.

‘That was a good night, wasn’t it? You really excelled yourself for your first time with a girl. Did you study beforehand? Because damn Danvers…Maggie wasn’t quite expecting that, and she certainly never expected you to be such a biter.’

 _Nor probably would have those listening_.

‘Or how about we talk about when you nearly drowned and Maggie wished, more than anything in the world, that she could’ve switched places with you, that she could’ve been the one in that tank. People say they’d die for someone, but most don’t really mean it…Maggie, however, absolutely would’ve died for you. She wouldn’t have hesitated.’

 _They were ride or dies…quite literally_.

‘Go on…ask me if she still would die for you.’

Alex knew that she shouldn’t, but couldn’t stop herself. ‘Would she?’

‘I ain’t telling you,’ the clone said with a grin. ‘Let’s move onto a more recent story, shall we? About how it took Maggie Sawyer fourteen months to go on another date after you broke her heart and, believe me, that wasn’t because of a lack of offers. She had _many_ offers, in fact. She’s a beautiful woman, whose kindness knows no bounds – who wouldn’t want to date her? No, it wasn’t a lack of offers that stopped her from dating, it was a lack of confidence.’

_Oh._

‘Funny that, huh? She’s a cop that willingly risks her life day in, day out and, not to mention, she’s absolutely gorgeous…yet she was scared to date. Scared of putting her heart out there because she couldn’t face getting hurt again. That’s what your lie did, Alex. It made her scared of people all over again. It took her almost twenty years to be able to trust someone _that_ much, and that one lie ruined all that progress.’

Knowing that, hurt. Alex had always hated the idea of dating as it was and she’d never had her heart broken. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how scary it would be to try and find someone new to trust, after being lied to the way that Maggie had.

‘So she went on this date, with a girl called Kimberly Bryant. She was pretty, funny and smart – she’s a doctor, so she knows all about working long, hard and unsociable hours too. She also loves dogs, they should’ve been a perfect match…Maggie ended up bailing on her after half an hour.’

_Damn…_

‘She’s been trying to get over you, Alex. But she can’t, she’s stuck in this perpetual state of missing you, of _wanting you_ …no woman will _ever_ replace you. You and Maggie are _yin and yang_ …one is not complete without the other and you know that. You _feel_ that incompleteness every second of every day that you aren’t with her, don’t you?’

Alex couldn’t take anymore. ‘Shut up.’

‘You’re nothing without her, aren’t--.’

Alex reached for her 9mm. ‘I said shut up!’

Staring down the barrel of an unsteady gun didn’t faze the clone – it only made it smile. ‘Of course, you came armed. Like always, you’re a coward, Alex. A coward that took days to work up the nerve to dump her.’

‘It wasn’t like that,’ Alex whispered.

‘Really? ‘Cause that’s what it felt like. You, prolonging the inevitable…prolonging the pain.’ It took a few steps closer, lowering its own gun in the process. ‘C’mon then. Shoot me.’

Her hands were shaking too much, and she was blinded by her own tears.

‘Shoot me!’

It wasn’t human; it shouldn’t even be alive, it was okay to kill it.

_But…_

_But..._

But it looked like Maggie and as much as a horrific science experiment that it was, Alex could never bring herself to physically hurt anything with eyes those deep and brown, anything with a smile so kind and so warm.

Once, a few months into their relationship, they’d sparred at the DEO and one wayward elbow had split open Maggie’s lip. Alex had been nearly in tears at the sight of the blood on the mats. Maggie had simply laughed it off, insisted that it wasn’t her fault but still…Alex had felt absolutely terrible. So, now, despite knowing that what was in front of her was, essentially, an abomination, she couldn’t pull the trigger because that thing looked like the love of her life.

The clone knew it too, capitalizing on her hesitation and disarming Alex with ease, tackling her to the ground. ‘Oh Danvers, you’ve got it bad, haven’t you? You can’t even hurt me.’ But they could hurt her, as they launched a ground and pound.

Alex got her arms up just in time to block the first few shots. This thing was so much stronger than her – a single punch could kill her. She had to fight, she had no other choice.

‘Maggie would want this,’ the clone smiled. ‘She would love to see you dead after how you treated her…I owe my life to her, so it’s only fair that I do this for her.’

And then came a voice in Alex’s ear. _‘Alex, that’s not true. Don’t listen to it.’_

Maggie. The _real_ Maggie.

_‘They’re lying to you. I haven’t, and I would never think that because I love you. With my whole heart, I love you. And I trust you, just as much.’_

The voice she needed to hear, saying the words she needed to hear.

_‘You can fight this thing.’_

And that gave Alex the boost she needed. She elbowed the clone in the face, catching it off guard. She brought a knee to its gut, and scrambled for the fallen gun that was mere metres away.

A gunshot, followed by a deafening silence was all that Maggie would hear…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ........oh. but, don't worry, *in chyler leigh's voice* lesbian lives! but that doesn't mean she can't get hurt ;)
> 
> also if you wanna follow me on twitter (and i promise i'll actually use it!) feel free to hit me up @lifeiniight ! xo


	15. Chapter 15

Everything was hazy. The sound of the sole gunshot reverberated in her ears. Warm blood escaped her, as her chest felt tight and she couldn’t move, her body already going into a state of shock.

A scuffle for the gun had broken out, and there could have only been one winner.

The gun slipped from Alex’s hand.

Shooting it was always meant to be the last resort. As much as an abomination as the clone was, it was also just as much a victim. It hadn’t asked to be brought into this world and it, certainly, hadn’t asked to be evil. And Alex would be damned if it was about to die for its supposed sins.

She rolled onto her stomach, wiped the blood from her temple before mustering the strength to crawl over to its side. ‘Hey, hey,’ she said softly, as she proceeded to pull off her own sweatshirt.

The noise the thing made as pressure was applied to its abdominal wound sounded, as expected, heartbreakingly like Maggie.

Alex gritted her teeth, tried not to let it affect her. ‘You’re going to be okay, help will be coming. You hear that? I need help in here.’ Her request was met with silence. ‘Agent Danvers is requesting help, stat.’

‘Let…me…die.’

Alex shook her head. ‘Not a chance in hell.’ She alleviated the pressure for the briefest of seconds to reach for her earpiece, only to find that it must’ve fallen out in the scramble for the gun. She hoped to god that the microphone taped to her chest was still functional. ‘C’mon guys, I’m in desperate need of a medteam in here.’

‘Please…let me…’ The pleas tailed off, as the clone lost consciousness.

Of all the cruel and painful mindfucks that this Cadmus creation had put her through, watching it, an identical copy of the woman that she loved, die? That was one mindfuck that Alex knew, just knew, that she would never recover from. ‘Hey, c’mon. Wake up, alright? You are _not_ dying today, do you hear me? Nobody is dying here today.’

‘Alex!’

The sound of J’onn’s voice, followed by pounding footsteps, was music to Alex’s ears. ‘We’ve got a GSW to the lower right abdomen. It’s already lost consciousness.’

J’onn looked at her like she was crazy, failing to see why she was so desperate to save the thing that they had been so desperate to neutralize.

So she explained, desperately, as tears began to fill her eyes. ‘Please, we have to save it. It didn’t ask for this, and it certainly does not deserve to die.’

*** *** ***

The second that they got into the DEO, the clone was whisked into surgery leaving Alex, as it horrifically dawned on her, standing covering what was essentially Maggie’s blood.

Fortunately, she hadn’t time to dwell on it as Maggie – _the real Maggie_ – came hurtling her way, throwing her one good arm around her. ‘ _Alex_.’

Alex melted into the embrace, though surprised that Maggie: a) had no apparent aversions to the bloodstained clothes; and b) was actually hugging her in the first place. Her surprise only increased as Maggie tightened her hold.

‘I am _so_ glad that you’re okay.’

Scared to say anything, for fear of breaking down in public, Alex said nothing.

That only prompted Maggie to pull away. ‘You are okay, aren’t you?’ Her gaze fixed onto the small cut on Alex's temple. ‘Is that--.’

‘Just superficial,’ Alex assured, voice shaky.

‘Alright,’ Maggie smiled, then reached for Alex’s hand and said, so softly, ‘C’mon, let’s go get you cleaned up.’

The breakdown occurred in the locker room. They made eye contact as Maggie helped to remove Alex’s bloodied shirt. The familiarity of this sort of intimacy hit Alex like a freight train. ‘I…I’m so sorry,’ she whispered. ‘For you hurting you, for lying…I never meant to, I promise. I-I just wanted us to last, so I could marry you, I--.’ She was choked by a sob.

Maggie pulled in her in close, hushing her as she rubbed soothing circles on her bare back. ‘I know, babe. I know. And I accept your apology.’

‘You don’t have to,’ Alex mumbled into her shoulder.

‘You’re right, I don’t have to…but I do. And do you wanna know why?’ She didn’t pause, didn’t give any time for Alex to answer. ‘Because I love you. Always have, and always will and I know that you feel the same- I have never, not for one second, thought that you didn’t love me.’

Hearing that only made Alex cry harder. She’d cried a lot since the break-up but never this hard, always holding back just a little. Hell, she had never cried this hard before in _her life_ – even when she thought she had lost her father, she’d held back, determined to be strong for her mom and for Kara. Now? Now, she was _finally_ letting go, _finally_ back in the one place that she felt safe to be this vulnerable – in Maggie’s arms.

‘Hey, hey, hey,’ Maggie said gently as the sobs intensified. ‘I’m here, and you’re safe and you’re loved and everything, I promise, is going to be all okay.’ She let Alex ride out the torrent of tears before, carefully, prying Alex away from her. ‘Look at me, please?’

Alex looked up from the ground, and into those beautiful brown pools.

‘Everything will be okay.’

For the first time in nearly two years, Alex believed that it would.

Maggie unzipped her hoodie, shook it off herself with some difficulty before wrapping it around Alex’s shoulders. ‘When was the last time that you got a decent night’s sleep?’

Again, that was also nearly two years ago – the last time that she and Maggie had went to bed as a happy, and carefree, engaged couple. She didn’t answer but her silence spoke volumes.

‘Babe,’ Maggie guided Alex down to the nearest bench, and sat down beside her. ‘I--.’

‘How much of all that, in the warehouse, did you hear?’ Alex couldn’t stop herself, she had to know.

‘Of what my evil twin said?’

Alex nodded.

‘All of it,’ Maggie said. ‘And, for the record, you really did take me by surprise on our first night. I mean, it was you, so I knew you were going to be good since, you know, you’re annoyingly good at almost everything, but that? For your first time with a girl? I wasn’t quite expecting _that_.’

‘And the rest…was that true?’

‘I did go on a date with a Kimberly Bryant, yes,’ Maggie affirmed. ‘And, yeah, I was absolutely terrified. However, the _real reason_ that I bailed was because that girl was chatty as hell, and I couldn’t put up with her any longer which, okay, makes me a shitty person but Alex…this girl, man. She wouldn’t let me get a fucking word in edgeways.’

Alex smiled.

‘But, to an extent, it was true. The idea of dating anyone but you? That absolutely sucks, and I don’t wanna do it, ever. So, uh,’ Maggie tucked a loose strand of hair behind Alex’s ear. ‘Would you like to go on a date with me, sometime?’

‘Me?’

Maggie laughed. ‘Is there anybody else here?’

‘No but I--.’ _Thought it was too good to be true, just like last time_. But this…this was real. Hell, just a minute ago, Alex was crying, half-naked, in her ex’s arms, dried blood still under her fingernails – this was as real as it could get. ‘I-I would love to.’

‘Alright, good.’ Those dimples came out to play. ‘But can we give it a couple of weeks? I have to get that surgery on my shoulder, so I need time to recuperate and, given the circumstances, I’d prefer that any conversations that we do have for the foreseeable happen when neither one of us are hopped up on pain meds.’

‘I understand…and appreciate that.’

‘Thank you,’ Maggie said. ‘And I hope that you don’t take this the wrong way but, when they discharge me, I’ll be moving in with your sister. That’s not weird, is it?’

‘You staying with a close friend? There’s nothing weird about that.’ In fact, it was amazing. For two people that never used to quite see eye-to-eye, the bond that had formed between Maggie and Kara was heartwarming.

‘Things,’ Maggie tenderly rubbed Alex’s cheek with her thumb, ‘Between us will get better, I promise. There’s just a lot of crazy shit that I need to wrap my head around right now, and--.’

Alex stopped her. ‘You don’t have to explain _anything_.’

Maggie smiled. ‘I want you to go home, right now, and get some rest.’

‘But--.’

‘No _buts_ ,’ Maggie said firmly. ‘I’m in good hands here, I’ll be okay. I still have your number – I’ll reach out when I’m ready.’

Alex’s heart skipped a beat at the certainty – it was no longer _if_ , it was _when_.

*** *** ***

The next three days she spent at home, finally able to sleep and relax. There was radio silence from Maggie, but Kara kept her in the loop about her recovery which was, by all accounts, going well.

It wasn’t, however, Maggie that Alex headed to the DEO to see.

Well, it was _kinda_ Maggie. ‘Hey. Sorry for shooting you.’

The clone was handcuffed to its hospital bed, but was happy to see Alex. ‘Apology accepted. I know that you didn’t mean it – after all, you once accidentally hurt Maggie and nearly started crying, I can’t imagine _shooting_ me was easy.’

‘Yeah, well, again – I’m sorry.’ Alex placed the vase of flowers she’d brought down on the bedside table.

‘You should give those to her. She deserves them more.’

‘Don’t be so harsh on yourself. You didn’t exactly choose this life.’

‘But now I’m stuck with it.’

Alex shook her head. ‘You’re not. We’re looking to see how we can help you.’

‘Start with killing me. It would be the kindest option.’

‘We will _not_ be killing you,’ Alex said firmly. ‘I know what you were trying to do at that warehouse. You were trying to get me to kill you and, I’m sorry but that just ain’t happening.’

‘So I’ll rot in a cell for the rest of my life then? Even better.’

‘That won’t be happening either, I promise. We aren’t sure exactly how yet but we are going to do our utmost to ensure that you can live a full, real and happy life.’

A smile tugged at the clone’s lips. ‘Those words sound familiar.’

‘ _Those words_ changed my life, and I live by them.’ Or, at least _tried_ to live by them – it had been hard to live a full, real and happy life this past year and a half. ‘Can I ask you something? You are allowed to say no, by the way.’

‘You’ve been kinder to me than most people would – you can ask me _anything_.’

That offer was tempting, though it’d feel wrong to take advantage by asking any more than just one question. ‘What’s Maggie’s favourite memory of our time together?’

The answer came without hesitation. ‘The first time that you held her hand. Not at the fight club, she doesn’t count that but, rather, on your first date. You reached for her hand and that, immediately, made her feel safe and special…it was a chilly night, your hands were warm, as they always are, and that made her feel even more protected.’

‘Thank you, I--.’ Her phone buzzed in her pocket. ‘Sorry, I need to--.’ This time she was cut off by the surprise, and the joy, at seeing who sent the message.

‘Maggie, right?’

Alex looked up. ‘How did you know?’

‘You have a certain smile when it comes to her.’

‘I…do?’

‘Yes, and _everyone_ knows it.’

Everyone except her apparently. She unlocked her phone to read the message.

**Maggie: How the hell did you not kill Kara growing up? She’s a NIGHTMARE to live with.**

Alex couldn’t help but laugh, before firing off a reply.

_Alex: Right?? And you thought I was bad._

‘Things are good between you two now?’ The clone asked.

‘Things are getting _better_ ,’ Alex replied, just as Maggie did.

**Maggie: They didn’t give me enough painkillers to deal with her.**

_Alex: Are there enough painkillers to deal with her?_

**Maggie: Fair point x**

‘I’m glad to hear it,’ the clone smiled. ‘You know she’s really excited about the prospect of having a family with you. I…I probably shouldn’t say this, because this is something that she really needs to say to you--.’

‘And she will, I’ll make sure of it, regardless of if you tell me.’ Communication was going to be key this time around, Alex was going to make sure of it. ‘You don’t have to tell me anything though.’

They didn’t have to, but they still did. ‘She’d like a daughter. A little girl that’s smart just like you.’

Hearing that two years ago would have meant the absolute world. Now? Now it was just the icing on the cake – as long as she had Maggie, everything else was just a bonus.

*** *** **

It had been a little over two weeks since the Cadmus situation had settled and things were good. Amazing, actually. Alex hadn’t seen Maggie in that time frame but they’d keep in constant contact, texting each other every day and finally making plans. _A date_.

Their second _first date_.

Kara flew in through the open balcony door with a sigh. ‘I can’t believe I’m using my superpowers to help two people get ready to go on a date with each other. This is definitely not what my family had ever hoped I would do on Earth.’

Alex was perched on the end of her bed, still in her robe. ‘Uh, helping me get back together with Maggie after I royally screwed things up, is the very definition of _doing good_. So stop moaning, and help me pick out something to wear.’

‘Really, Alex? It doesn’t matter what you wear; Maggie’s seen you in a _lot less_.’

Alex grinned. ‘Yeah, she has.’

Which prompted her sister to grimace. ‘And I officially hate myself for contributing to _that_ thought in my head. Regardless, you know what I meant. She won’t care what you’re wearing so long as you’re there.’

‘Yeah, I know but…what’s _she_ wearing?’

‘I am _not_ telling you.’

‘Aw c’mon--.’

‘Not. Telling.’ Kara thrusted a combination of clothes at her. ‘Here.’

‘Does her outfit colour coordinate with this--.’

‘Ask me one more question about what she’s wearing and, I swear to _Rao_ , I’ll fly away and leave you to deal with all this on your own.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Alex said. ‘I’m…nervous, alright? I just want everything to okay.’

Kara sat down beside her. ‘You have nothing to be nervous about. Tonight? This date? Think of it as a formality.’

‘ _A formality_?’

‘Yep,’ Kara affirmed. ‘She knows you, she _loves you_ and, as you know now, you both want the same things in life. If she didn’t want to get back with you, then she wouldn’t even entertain the thought of this evening. It cannot go wrong…unless, of course, you end up hooking up with some waitress or whatever.’

‘Yeah, that’s not happening.’

‘Then it’s not going to go wrong, silly,’ Kara smiled. ‘And that’s the end of that conversation, because I’m sick of having it. First with Maggie, then with you…god, it’s like you’re both teenagers.’

 _Maggie?_ ‘She’s nervous too?’

‘Very much so but you didn’t hear that from me, do you understand? I may be Kryptonian, and she may only have one good arm at present, but we both know that she could still kick my ass.’

Alex nodded. ‘I hear you…and thank you. Knowing that she’s nervous too is reassuring.’

‘Yeah yeah yeah, just hurry up and get ready because I’m not flying you to the restaurant if you end up running late.’

*** *** ***

 _Ranieri’s_ was a five-star restaurant by the waterfront that was notoriously hard to get a relatively last minute reservation at. That was, of course, if you didn’t have contacts – Kara had pulled some strings and, thanks largely to one Miss Cat Grant, had managed to get a table with only a few days’ notice.

Alex was early so decided to kill time by strolling back and forth, admiring the sunset.

Twenty minutes later, she saw a sight that was even more beautiful…and her name was Maggie Sawyer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's a nicer cliffhanger for y'all right?? :)
> 
> also heads up: the next update (featuring a certain second first date!) will be up earlier than usual, most likely this coming Sunday, due to me being painfully unready to head off to a certain convention in Blackpool! Until then, feel free to leave your thoughts below and, if you so wish, follow me on twitter, @lifeiniight! xo


	16. Chapter 16

Maggie Sawyer was a vision in that black dress…though, to be fair, she was a vision in _everything_ – and, of course, _nothing_.

The evening was already off to a great start, with Alex at a loss for words. ‘Hey, I…I nice. I mean, _you_ look nice.’ _Breathe, you fool. Breathe_. ‘Maggie, you look _absolutely gorgeous_.’

A shy smile brought out those dimples. ‘The sling kinda offsets the look a little, don’t you think?’

Truth be told, Alex hadn’t even noticed it. ‘Not at all. How is your shoulder?’

‘It’s okay. More of an inconvenience than anything. You,’ Maggie ran her eyes up and down Alex. ‘Look good too, by the way.’

‘Kara helped.’

‘Kara may have helped pick out that dress,’ Maggie corrected. ‘But she certainly did not pick out those legs. Or that ass.’

Alex blushed. ‘Still a butt girl, I see.’

‘I’m still an _Alex girl_.’ Smooth. So fucking smooth. ‘You know the more that I think about it, the more that I wish we had just settled for pizza at home. You know, to avoid the struggle of having a three-course meal with only one functional limb.’

‘We still could,’ Alex shrugged.

‘Alex, that’s _Ranieri’s_. Most normal people don’t cancel a reservation at _Ranieri’s_ – hell, most normal people can only _dream_ of getting one in the first place.’

‘And? Since when have we been _normal_? We fight aliens for a living and, hell, I even have one for a sister.’ Alex said the latter part a little too loudly, prompting a weird look from a passer-by. ‘We could go back to my apartment, and order in? I’ll even light some candles, make it all romantic.’

That seemed to sway Maggie’s mind. ‘Alright. You’re on.’

*** *** ***

Well, she would’ve lit candles if she could find any of the damn things.

‘So, how is life with Supergirl?’ Alex asked, as she rummaged through yet another cupboard, her optimism starting to dwindle.

Maggie sighed. ‘It’s exhausting. She yells at the TV when watching gameshows; leaves the windows wide open when she has to fly off; and, I’m not even sure how it’s possible, but she’s a worse cook than you. I woke up one morning to the smell of burning – the girl can’t even bake a goddamn cake with cake mix. She’s impossible to live with.’

If those complaints weren’t all completely valid, then Alex would have been sure that Maggie was angling to move back in. ‘It could be worse – you could have had to share a bedroom with her.’

‘Fair point,’ Maggie concurred. ‘I know I shouldn’t complain. She’s letting me stay there rent-free for as long as I want, and she’s sleeping on the couch whilst I have her bed. She didn’t have to do any of that.’

Alex turned her attention to the drawers under the microwave. ‘Where the hell are they?’

‘Babe, it’s okay.’

A part of her really did want to find those candles, especially since she’d been searching for the past five minutes, but the hunt for them was initially only to buy some time, to help her nerves ease. ‘Wait, they might be in here--.’

‘Alex,’ Maggie’s tone was firm as she patted the couch. ‘Sit your perfect little ass down. I need to talk to you about something, and I don’t want to let it wait any longer.’

Such a statement didn’t exactly help her nerves, but she abandoned her search and came over.

Maggie cut right to it. ‘How many kids do you want?’

At least they were addressing it now. Still, the directness of the question made Alex stutter. ‘I-I, uh--.’

‘Don’t play dumb. I know that you know that my position towards them has changed…though, I do appreciate that you let me bring it up on my own time.’

Alex smiled. ‘What can I say? I learned that from the best.’ _The absolute best_.

‘You’re such an asskisser, aren’t you?’ Maggie grinned. ‘But, really. Kids. How many would you like?’

‘I’d like one. Maybe two, but that would depend on how I find motherhood.’

‘Same here.’ They really were on the same page now. ‘But just…not for a while, okay? A few years down the line, so I can enjoy married life without having to share you.’

‘ _Share me_?’ Alex laughed. ‘More like me having to share _you_. You’re amazing with kids; our kid won’t ever want to let you go, whilst I’ll be the nerdy and overbearing mom that they’ll be embarrassed to even be seen with.’

‘Nerdy and overbearing moms can also be great moms,’ Maggie assured. ‘You’re aware that we can’t adopt though, right? With your job and my whole _legally dead_ situ that I’ve got going on, there’s no way in hell that we’d be able to.’

Alex arched a brow. ‘You’ve really thought about this, haven’t you?’

Maggie nodded. ‘I’ve thought about this a lot. ‘Cause I really want a family with you.’

Those words made Alex’s heart skip a beat. ‘Well, I wouldn’t have any objections to carrying our child.’

‘Neither would I.’

‘Okay, great!’ Alex couldn’t quite believe that this was happening, that they were really having this conversation. Mere weeks ago, it would’ve been unfathomable to be even sat here with Maggie, never mind sat here planning a future with her. ‘So like maybe flip a coin when the time comes?’

‘Maybe not _flip a coin_ ,’ Maggie laughed. ‘It’s a baby, Alex – we’re not deciding where to order takeout.’

‘My sister would argue that they are both equally as important decisions.’

Another laugh. ‘She’d make a great aunt, won’t she?’

‘She’s basically a big kid herself, so yeah.’

Maggie bit down on her lip. ‘Alright, so that’s settled. Is there anything else that we need to discuss? Any more potential dealbreakers?’

Alex shook her head. ‘I can’t think of any and, believe me, I’ve been thinking about it for a long time.’

‘Good,’ Maggie smiled. ‘You wanna know what I’ve been thinking about for a long time?’

‘What?’

‘This,’ Maggie said before she leaned forward and kissed Alex.

*** *** ***

The rest of the evening went well, though they went their separate ways at the end of it. Maggie wanted a little more time and space first, something that Alex absolutely understood and respected. They met up the next morning at the DEO, at Maggie’s request.

Maggie wanted to meet her clone.

‘Maggie Sawyer. It’s lovely to meet you,’ it said with a smile. ‘I know…well, everything about you.’

It was doing well after being shot. Once it had fully recovered, it was going to be mindwiped before given a new identity and sent over to the UK to start a whole new life. For now, it was residing within a cell in the DEO, but it was not being treated like a prisoner at all, with waiter service and all the entertainment that it could ever need.

Maggie sat down on one of two leather couches. ‘No offence, but this is really weird.’

‘None taken.’

‘So, uh…’ Maggie tailed off, before turning to Alex, who was stood at the back of her. ‘Can you sit down already?’

‘Yeah, quit hovering. It’s annoying.’

‘Right?’ Maggie laughed. ‘It could be worse. She could be pacing.’

‘The pacing is annoying as hell,’ the clone agreed.

And then Alex suddenly realized what was happening. ‘Are you two…doubleteaming me?’

The clone nodded. ‘With the truth? Yep.’

Alex grimaced. ‘I’m starting to think this was a bad idea.’

‘My thoughts when she attempts to cook.’

Maggie snorted.

Alex frowned. ‘Really, Maggie?’

‘My self-conscious finally has a voice and I can’t get in trouble for it? You bet your ass that I’m _loving_ this.’

And, as much as she hated having her annoying habits pointed out for the next hour or so, Alex secretly loved it too. The woman she loved was back in her life, and they were spending time together…how could she _not_ love it?

*** *** ***

After two weeks and a handful of dates, Maggie moved back in. Four months later, Alex decided that she was going to ask Maggie to marry her again but, this time, she was going to do it right, and give Maggie Sawyer the proposal that she deserved with a new ring, to mark new beginnings.

A new, fifteen-thousand-dollar engagement ring – the only reason that she hadn’t spent any more, was because Maggie wasn’t a materialistic person, and Alex knew that she would secretly hate the fact that she had spent _that_ much.

They were going on vacation between Christmas and New Year – she’d ask then. Until then, however, she planned on hiding the ring in J’onn’s office, where it wouldn’t risk being found.

Her plans were nearly ruined before she even got to the office, as she bumped (quite literally) into Maggie, who had emerged from the doorway. ‘Whoa, careful!’

Alex was glad the little velvet box was safely zipped up in her jacket pocket. ‘H-hey, I--.’ Maggie coming out of J’onn’s office wasn’t anything to be alarmed about, since she now worked for the DEO. What was alarming, however, was Maggie’s slightly teary eyes. ‘Is everything okay? What happened?’

‘Nothing happened; it’s nothing,’ Maggie forced a smile before proceeding to walk away.

Alex was in pursuit. ‘I know it’s not nothing.’

‘It’s fine, babe.’

‘It’s not _fine_ , you’re worrying me.’

‘And you’re _annoying_ me,’ Maggie laughed.

‘I thought we weren’t keeping secrets from each other now?’

‘Who says I’m keeping a secret from you?’

The teary eyes, the subtle difference in her voice, the nervous laughter...the list was endless. ‘Maggie, I know you better than I know myself. I know something is wrong and, whatever it is, I just want you to know that I am here to help.’

‘Believe me, this _something_ is not _wrong_ ,’ Maggie said.

‘But there is _something_.’

Maggie came to a sudden halt by the intel table, nearly causing Alex to crash into her once again. ‘You wanna know?’

‘Yes.’

‘Right here, right now?’

Alex nodded. ‘If you’re comfortable with that, yes.’

Maggie grinned. ‘Just to doublecheck…you want me to come out with it in the middle of your workplace, right now in the middle of the workday?’

‘I…guess?’ Alex was confused…

…until Maggie got down on one knee, and everything became crystal clear. ‘Well, you asked for this extremely public proposal. So,’ she produced a little black box from a pocket, ‘Alexandra Danvers… _Alex_ …will you marry me?’

The moments that followed would forever be a teary blur but she’d always remember how she had said _yes_ without any hesitation. ‘I…oh my god,’ she managed as she took in the gorgeous diamond ring that was now on her finger, before collapsing into Maggie’s arms, a hysterically happy mess.

‘Oh sweetie…I think the last of your reputation around here is gone,’ Maggie chuckled, as she held Alex tight.

‘Worth it,’ Alex mumbled before she remembered, and pulled away.

Maggie’s eyes went wide. ‘Whoa, wait. Have you been carrying a ring around in anticipation?’

‘It looks that way, but I swear it’s not. I literally just got it. On my lunch break. I was going to hide it in J’onn’s office--.’ _Hang on_. ‘Wait, why were you in J’onn’s office?’

‘Because,’ Maggie’s smile was soft. ‘I wanted to do things as properly as I could. And, since I sadly cannot ask your father at this present moment for your hand in marriage, I asked J’onn in his place.’

 _Just when she thought she couldn’t love Maggie anymore_. ‘Maggie, that…that’s so sweet, I--.’ On the verge of another wave of tears, she distracted herself with presenting the engagement ring to Maggie instead. ‘I, uh, I hope you like it. I hope it fits too.’

Maggie’s eyes sparkled just like the many diamonds. ‘Holy crap, Alex…wow, this is beautiful.

Alex smiled. ‘Then it’s apt.’

*** *** ***

They couldn’t be bothered to plan another wedding, so instead opted for a relatively quick and lowkey affair at city hall.

Kara was Alex’s Maid of Honour and Winn was Maggie’s best man. Proud Papa Bear J’onn sat beside Eliza in the front row, whilst James was the official photographer. They didn’t need any more people attending than that.

Everyone cried during the short ceremony, yet Alex was surprised that she wasn’t the one that cried the hardest.

Instead it was Maggie as she recited those vows that Alex had accidentally stumbled upon months ago – with just one line added to complete them. ‘You make me so inconceivably happy, that I can’t even begin to express how much you mean to me. I’ve never felt this level of love before, nor have I ever felt this loved. Becoming your wife will be the greatest honour of my life, and it will be an honour that I promise I will never, ever take for granted. I also promise to love you, to protect you and to make you feel special every day of your life. I have _never_ stopped loving you, and I _never_ will.’

*** *** ***

They waited until the right time to start a family.

It took five years for them to reach that stage with Alex deciding to retire from active field duty, more than happy to, as Director, run things solely from the comfort and safety of the DEO. She’d spent a decade risking her life, she felt that she had more than paid her dues.

Plus, it also let them try for a baby.

Alex fell pregnant within six months of trying to conceive.

The sights of the little _+_ on the numerous tests they’d done were nearly as great as the hug that Maggie pulled her into. ‘My baby’s having a baby!’

Things moved quickly, as Alex’s hCG levels suggested that she was further along than they thought – which, they now realized as they were sat waiting for a sonogram just two days after taking the initial pregnancy test, actually made sense. Alex had been feeling tired for a while but they’d, simply, chalked it up to the long hours she’d been pulling at the DEO as of late.

Yet now, in the doctor’s office, Alex’s nausea had nothing to do with the life blooming inside of her. Rather, it was the direct result of the nerves that had been slowly building since they found out they were expecting. She was overjoyed at the prospect of motherhood, yes…but she was also scared. Her very career was built around expecting the worst, after all. And this? This all felt too good to be true, especially for them.

Maggie sensed her nerves, reaching for her hand. ‘Everything will be alright – whatever happens. Promise.’

And Maggie - who kept watch on the little screen during the ultrasound, whilst Alex was too scared to look – was absolutely right. Things were alright…though, they were also hella unexpected.

‘I’m…seeing that right, aren’t I?’

‘You are indeed,’ the doctor confirmed. ‘That’s two.’

‘Two?’ Alex’s eyes shot open and, sure enough, there were two little shapes on the screen. _Two little shapes. Two little babies. Two babies inside of her_. ‘T-Twins?’ Twins didn’t run in her family, and they hadn’t in the donor’s family either…but they had to start somewhere, right? And so it was her that would bring twins into the Danvers bloodline.

Once Maggie had picked her jaw up off the ground, she turned to Alex with a big smile. ‘Well this is an awesome surprise.’

Alex felt the same. ‘The _best_ surprise.’

And then, as it so often happened in their relationship, Maggie couldn’t help but note how they had come full circle – the inside joke making Alex laugh hard, whilst confusing the hell out of the doctor. ‘So long as one of them doesn’t turn out to be evil – I’ve had enough of evil twins to last a lifetime.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all folks! I cannot thank you enough for all your kind words on this fic - what was originally meant to be a couple of chapters turned into SIXTEEN because of your support! So, thank you - I've really enjoyed writing this one.
> 
> Stay tuned for a new, multi-chapter fic about these two coming in the next few months...I've just started writing it, and I can't wait to share!
> 
> Thank you all!! xo


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